Insecure women force men to lie

Thank goodness the OP is here

This woman is not worth your time.

I've voted YABU because it is not 'insecure women', it is one particular woman who obviously has jealousy issues, and resents the fact that you are on speaking terms with the mother of your children.

It seems to me that if she is this possessive and jealous of the time and effort you spend in making your dc's lives better (and that includes being on reasonably good terms with your ex) then perhaps the relationship is not going to work out.

Fuck @NormaNormal , what a find….

The OP is a charmer isn’t he?
And it puts his whole victim playing into perspective too….

What you have described does not sound healthy and would not be a relationship I would choose to continue.
But, can you not see how your logic is twisted? You lie to your partner, so how can she trust what you say? By all means, if you feel she’s insecure and reacts badly when you are honest and not doing anything wrong, run for the hills. But it’s not fair to assume how she’ll respond to something that hasn’t happened yet, lie to her and complain she doesn’t trust you.

Agreed 🤢

If I wasn't able to be open and honest with a partner then I'd consider the relationship over tbh.

You have a severe allergy to accountability. You don’t have to lie. You choose to.

Dear man, thank you for explaining to us how we should behave.

we will try harder

sincerely

the women

🙄

Why are you accepting this as the standard in the relationship though. Have you lost your self respect so completely that this is OK?

She sounds ghastly, and not able to be in a relationship.

Actually cringed my face off at the OP.

The sad thing is that I don't disbelieve his actual post - it sounds like he's in a borderline-abusive relationship with a controlling woman. I would have sympathy for that but blaming all women just makes you sound like a twat (and a stupid one to think it'd go down like anything other than a cup of cold sick on here).

No one is forcing you, or any man, to lie. If your partner makes your life miserable because you tell the truth about innocuous things you owe it to yourself to leave her. That is advice I have given to many women and it applies to you too. I understand it is difficult to get out of abusive or controlling relationships; however, I am but a poster on the internet and I can't do it for you, this is something only you can do.

And don't blame "all women" for this shit ever again.

What a weird post.

Why are you with her? What redeeming features are so wonderful that they make you seriously consider a life of constant arguments or constantly hiding/lying about innocuous things?
This isn't a woman thing, this is a Harry's girlfriend thing, and can happen to anyone, by anyone... And can escalate.

You've only been together 18 months, I assume no DC. This is the test period where you decide IF you want to be together long term. It's not working, just end it rather than expecting her to change, convincing her to go to counselling etc. The trust has already gone (or was never there) on both sides.

Lying would be your choice and you should need to own it, not blame her. But if she's that insecure you should grow up and end it.
Absolute sexist twat.

"If we had an ‘idiot classics’ this should go there."

Indeed, this is a serious contender for the Idiot Classics.

this is definitely a reverse

No you aren't being forced to lie OP you are choosing to lie to make your life easier. If you had a backbone you'd speak to her honestly and if your girlfriend is so emotionally fragile that lending decorations to your ex for the sake of your kids causes a fight then she's obviously got some serious work to do before she can have a serious adult relationship. However with your refusal to take any responsibility for your own actions it seems you are both as problematic as the other and therefore deserve each other.

So assuming you are an adult - surely you can decide this is not a good relationship without women telling you?

Clearly you have had a relationship before?

I was a bit like you described at 19.
She’s not 19 is she op??!!

But I agree. Tell her. Set boundaries. Deal with the behaviour or leave. Otherwise, when she does find out you’ve lied, she’ll have a point.

Just end the relationship, it's not healthy

I am sorry but if you are d'un certain age, with grown up children, you really should think about your future with this woman. Are you really happy to go into old age with a partner who does not trust you? I would be heading for the hills. Also, there are many women who carry men through the marriage because the men just don't cut the mustard. It can be said for both genders.

👏👏👏

We don't come on here to get life advice from random blokes. Especially not ones seemingly in woeful sounding relationships.

Your wife is insecure. That's nothing to do with any of us is it? Maybe try and help her or split up. But lay off lecturing us and telling us we are all like your wife.

Your solution is just to lie to her which is never a good long term way of going about a relationship.