To ask what you think of a proposal after 1.5 years aged 35+?

I was similar - engaged after 18 months at the age of approx 33. No point hanging around at that stage, especially if you want kids!

Or you could just propose yourself? I mean why on earth would you kick someone to the kerb after only 18 months if all was merry and bright just because they’d not ‘proposed’?

I got engaged 12 weeks after meeting my now-husband. I was 26 and he was 34. We got married 18 months later and have now been extremely happily married for 8 years, with 1 DD, 5. He's my person- I knew it when I met him and so did he.

In contrast, he was with his ex for 8 years in total, got married after 7.5 years and they split up 5 months later.

Length of time together before engagement does not correlate with length of marriage.

At that age I would be ending the relationship if there was no proposal after 18 months. No time for messing about.

Come back to me when you're sick of picking up their dirty laundry off the floor despite asking a hundred times for it to go in the basket. If you're willing to take the risk of being someone elses unpaid servant, good luck to you.

I think that’s really normal but then again me and my now husband moved in together 3 weeks after we met and were engaged within a year. we have been together 16 years and married for 13.

You should have a pretty good idea whether you're compatible or not by now. There's no rule that you have to follow in terms of length of time.

To me, an engagement is just the period between deciding to get married and sorting the wedding out.

If you've got the big things sorted (whether to have children, jobs etc etc) then just get on with it. Or don't. But make a decision sooner rather than later at your age.

You're going to become acutely aware of all their 'flaws' when you're cohabiting so I don't see why being engaged (or not) really makes any difference.

Anyway, marriages that are decades old sometimes come to an end. Life is like a box of chocolates and all that.

The getting married part is almost irrelevant IMO. Planning on having kids together? Different ball game. People (of both sexes) can change when they have kids. Helpful to check out each other's ideas on working / housework / child care / getting up in the night / division of labour / how this works if we have a disabled DC etc. There are no perfect answers that can prepare you for any of this, but good to go through. And also views on money -- how will you manage money? How will you manage money when one of you is unemployed? How will you manage money if neither of you can work full time because you have a DC who needs to be cared for? etc.

Lived together after 3 weeks (he was a friend of the family), engaged after 3 months, bought a house after 11 months and got married a month after that. Been married for 30 years.

@Evilwasp2 you do what suits you and it's nobody else's business.
Me and my DH met when I was 17, engaged on my eighteenth birthday 4 months later, married 3 years after our first date, 33rd wedding anniversary this October.
Former neighbour lived together for 3 years, got married, split up 18 months later.
Everyone is different.

Perfectly fine. I was engaged to DH after 1year. Married 10 months later. Still together. When you know, you know.

My DH proposed to me after 5 months together, I was 27 and he was 23. We are almost 20 years married now.

At 35 and if you want to get married and have children you don't have years to waste on relationships going nowhere. If somebody acts coy about commitment, believe them. I was engaged after 12 months and we've been happily together for over 30 years. My view is that if you are in your late twenties, thirties and it doesn't look like it's progressing towards marriage in a year then you should pause and re-evaluate. Don't be swayed by the sunk costs fallacy - a lukewarm man usually stays precisely that. Before I met my wonderful husband I dated a rather lukewarm chap with commitment issues. My father bluntly told me I was wasting my time after asking me a few questions and he was absolutely right. It stung at the time but he was right to say it.

Exit costs from joint property ownership, debt and marriage are high.

DC ties you together as co parents for at least 18 years (or should do, if the father doesn’t turn out to be a deadbeat dad).

18 months is a relatively short time taking into account the risks involved with properties, marriage and (most of all) DC. of course, some men, after much longer relationships change their treatment of their partner and/or turn out to be a shit parent after DC1.

Biology can add time pressure for those of us who want DC.

I was engaged after 1 year and 4 months together and married 10 months later. I was 29 years old. We recently celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary.

Together for 18 months then moved in together. Engaged at 3 years together (the same month we bought our house), married the following year. At the time people felt we’d moved fast 🤣
I do agree with others in that you should live together a while before committing to marriage, you need to ensure you’re compatible and there’s no real deal breakers once you’re cohabiting.

There was recent research out wasn’t their that the most successful marriages occur in couples aged 28-35 who marry within 2 years of meeting.

We met in June, moved in together in Nov. Got engaged in Feb. Married in Nov and had dd1 the following September 🤣 we were 35, at that age you've probably travelled, studied, worked etc. You know yourself and what works for you and a partner. I wouldn't say I was cynical but I wasnt expecting to fall head over heels the way I did - i cant believe my luck 😊

I think other people wait longer because they're saving, getting housing sorted etc.

Met and married within 6 months.
37 years, and a 24 year old daughter we still laugh together.
If you know, you know

I met my DH at 36. We bought a house to move into together after a year because we knew it would work. Married soon after. That was nearly 20 years ago. All good. We'd both been round the block, knew what we wanted and were not into playing games.

We were married 18 months after dating, he asked me when together for 6 months We had been work colleagues and friends for 2 years and had been housemates in a shared house for a few months when he asked me on a date.

Been together 26 years.

Live together for at least a year, I’d say. You’ll have seen most of their character by then and know if they’re the person you want to commit to for life.
They’ll have seen you too, of course! So it goes both ways.

I think it's fine to get engaged after that amount of time at any age.

We got married after 9 months of living together. Lots of people divorce after years of marriage all the time. It really doesn't matter anymore how long you've been living together because people divorce these days anyway for all kinds of reasons. If you are 35+ and no kids and you want kids, there is no point waiting any longer.