To ask what you think of a proposal after 1.5 years aged 35+?

Have you been in a long term relationship previously op?

For me it depends on how you have spent the 1.5 years. If it's been wined, dined and wooed I'd probably you say you want to consider making sure you aren't missing a flaw as it's possible to be a false person for that length of time.
If you have 1.5 y where you have been integrated in one anothers lives ideally with some cohabitation even if that is spending significant time at one anothers houses rather than a house you share.

Two things I think are crucial for a relationship is similar viewpoints on money and finances and a someone willing to care for the other. Financial pressures are hard enough on a relationship without a mismatch in views on spending and credit etc. Knowing some has your back when you need and for this I find how someone treats you when you are sick is often and indicator for how they would be when you have other needs. I hadn't been seeing my partner very long at all and a lot younger than 35 when I had cause to be in a and e one evening whilst he was revising for an exam. He spent the evening in a and e with me although did bring his revision notes with him. He's stood by me through all sorts of crises since and I have him. This was a small incident which just highlighted where his caring priorities lay.

Just fine. I know people who got engaged faster than that. I know someone who got engaged after 21 days of dating, married around 4 month mark and married 3 years now... with a 14 year age gap..
Yep that someone is me.

The time frame is perfectly reasonable.

The idea that you can love someone enough to ignore their flaws is a problem. Love is not enough for a successful relationship. You need to share values, especially in respect of finances, day to day life and future goals. You also need to have a successful communication style and each other's best interests at heart. You can know these things without living together but I think living together does help. Someone can say they believe in 50-50 chores but the reality may be different.

Which phrase? My username indicates a place I lived for a long time, but I’ve moved now.

Engaged after 6 months, married 3 months later. That was 26 years ago. I knew he was 'the one' as soon as he looked at me and smiled

I’ve never known anyone say that is needed.

But very few set out with the intention of doing it on their own!

Many women are already fudging it alone or would be happier and with happier kids of they were doing it alone.

Some kids have absolute arseholes for fathers.

Not on their own!!

Obscene? Are you mad 🤣

Its perfectly fine and normal.

I think that’s a perfectly reasonable time frame.

Perhaps OP can answer.

Did you see my previous post?

Ps, we're literally on mumsnet, I think its a safe bet most users are women that have or want kids

You have figured it out OP! We can cancel all the divorces now!

She can be a good mum with or without a dad on the scene, plenty are.

Yeah, because that’s what every woman wants

How easy was it for people in those generations to end a marriage?

Rates of mariticide were also far higher when women had no easy way out but arsenic.

Strange how the generations that didn’t live together before marriage had the longest marriages.

I came back to ask if @cardibach is from the area where this phrase is relevant. I am, that's why I recognised it. I think I saw you post on a Taylor Swift thread when I was using my old username ages ago too, which is why I remembered it.

I don’t think people do say 'Oh you first need to see how they act in a difficult situation/in an argument'/‘you need to see all their flaws” do they??

If others are saying this to you repeatedly, you might want think about the message they are trying to send. (Or ask these people what they are seeing that you don’t!)

I think two years is a good amount of time to know if you want to be with a person for the long term.

Yeah.

Because with a few years left it's time to piss or get off the pot.

She can be a good mum with or without a dad on the scene, plenty are.

My husband and I got engaged after 1 year of dating. We didn't live together until 5 months AFTER we became engaged. Married after being together 2.5 years. We've been together 19 years and married 17 of those. I was 32 when we got engaged, heading towards 33.

I got engaged around that age, had been together 1 year. Married 6 months later as we didn't see the point in a long engagement. We hadn't lived together and due to circumstances didn't live together for a few years even after marriage.

TBH if we hadn't got engaged I'd have moved on. It was important to me to be married and I felt that after a year he should know if he wanted to marry me, because I'd known for ages.

13 years married this year, even more in love than we were then.

everyobe puts their best self forward when starting a relationship. It’s only after you’ve lived together for a period of time that “the mask” can possibly slip and you see the real person or certain traits that they’ve been able to cover up whether that’s been a subconscious effort or not.

Maybe get engaged and plan for a two year engagement so you have time to spare before rushing into a wedding.

No we got engaged after 9 months when I was 6 months pregnant....