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AIBU?

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Original poster

So lonely even DD and DH don't understand me.

331 replies

Thevegetarianchef · 09/09/2025 07:22

So after a lifetime of anxiety and bouts of depression I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and autistic traits.
This has been helpful with regard to work relationships.
Not so much my home life.At the weekend we met up with DD who left home nearly ten yrs ago.She lives hundreds of miles away so we see each other every few months.
We had all gone shopping not DHS favourite past time and were grabbing a coffee or going back.
They wanted coffee in a cosy cramped hot cafe.
I wasn't so sure.Off DD stomped and I know she gets handgry as this has happened before.
DH ran after her. We settled on good old Mand S which was spacious.
Am I unreasonable to expect anyone in my own family to realise I struggle and have always with cramped spaces or to find out about my diagnosis as DH said I Keep going on about it.I have linked articles for him to read to understand.
I feel so lonely and misunderstood and isolated already.

OP posts:
Espressosummer · 09/09/2025 07:28

Sometimes you need to compromise. Like your husband did when he spent time shopping with you both even though he doesn't like shopping. If you are using your diagnosis to always get your own way then I can see why it's causing issues with them both. Especially because "autistic traits" could probably apply to a lot of people.

arethereanyleftatall · 09/09/2025 07:28

You’ve detailed what your needs and wants were for the coffee.
but they are also people and they have their own set of needs and wants. And there was 2 of them.
I see you all went along with your choice in the end.
how often does that happen?

BuddhaAtSea · 09/09/2025 07:27

Sounds like you were all tired and hungry. Keep snacks in your bag.

Hercisback1 · 09/09/2025 07:26

Sounds like you've gone on and on about it and they're all fed up. The diagnosis doesn't change you.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 09/09/2025 07:25

Well they didn’t go to a cafe you liked in the end, I can’t see why everyone needs to go with your choice without having opinions if their own. Family involves compromise on all sides.

Springadorable · 09/09/2025 07:24

To them you are the person you always have been. The diagnosis doesn't change that. It will probably help you understand yourself a bit more, and be interesting to you, but it isn't your whole identity and they don't want it to become that when they've known you for so long already.

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