Strange interaction at work and no one else sees the issue?

In your shoes I would be reporting to HR as shows serious conduct issues

I too would have laughed it off as a harmless joke because imo it is a bit funny. I used to work in an IT team and the jokes, inappropriate by todays standards, eg about dongles etc were common from men and women.

I do have quite a puerile sense of humour though 😁

Maybe its a generational thing. I'm in my mid 50s and grew up on a diet of innuendo and euphemism?

I'm not saying people are wrong to be appalled by his behaviour btw, but reporting him for some sort of shicking offence does seem excessive.

Yup its comes out of the same box as "just bantz" and "you have no sense of humour"

Not strange, but repulsive behaviour.
Make a complaint to HR, and next time call him out in person too.

That's because they are male. She said her manager shrugged his shoulders and her partner is male as she said 'when I told him'.

Inappropriate yes and worthy of disciplinary yes but you cant say whether or not he would do that with a male manager unless you know the person in question.

That would warrant a disciplinary for sexual harassment where I work.

That kind of behaviour would have you suspended in the police force.

The problem is, the people you spoke to check afterwards all sound male

I’d be flagging with HR as a note on record for future. He wouldn’t have done that with a male manager so he shouldn’t have done it with you

Are you unaware that men subjecting themselves to corporal punishment from a woman role playing dominance is a sexual activity? Hence the 'joke' when he was in trouble with a woman in authority. I doubt anyone too young to remember corporal punishment in schools as mainstream would associate it with that rather than the sexual activity. Unless they had a 'baffling' naivety about such matters.

Yeah I'm quite pleased this poster is no longer in the workplace... I'm so tired of this type of shit.

Totally an example of not needing to bring your authentic self to work. I don't want to know about some guys underlying sado masochistic tendancies or thoughts and feels- and certainly wouldn't appreciate him playing them out on me.

I manage a team of ten. Mainly men. If one of them said that to me I would log it with HR and read them the riot act.

Your DPs comment is worrying though. Does he usually minimise this kind of behaviour?

Log with HR immediately. Even if it doesn't go anywhere, its on record. He's completely minimising the situation

Quite

Oh I would take that as far as I could in a right pedantic fashion. Misogynistic weirdo. Completely inappropriate. Undermining your authority and minimising his own behaviour.

OF COURSE HE FUCKING HAS

How do they do it??? How are they such creepy sexist twats, put it out there in plain sight, and get away with it for years?

I agree with pp that you can be friendly but they are not your friends. The minute something goes wrong they are your manager and vice versa. It’s better to keep everything professional. Also can cause issues and weird dynamics with other staff if boss is overly pally. I’ve only ever become properly friends with someone when they were no longer my manager.

No idea if this is the case here. Very unprofessional behaviour from him, especially when you were presumably speak to him about being unprofessional. If you have a good hr dept I would ask for some advice.

To give him 'a belt', to use the belt on his arse like a naughty school boy of days gone by.

Very strange. Also strange that your boss and DP think this is fine. I wonder how funny/acceptable they would have found it had you laughed and played along with his stupid ‘joke?’ Or if you had initiated that ‘joke’ yourself? So funny. Not.

At best it was a poorly judged attempt to lighten the mood. At worst it was a deliberate tactic to put you on edge and influence the power balance during the meeting.

With that level of confidence and humor I'd say yes he would be like that with a male manager.

Bloke trying to play jack the lad with his female boss. Naughty boy syndrome. Poker face and 'please sit down' is enough.

sounds potentially like a candidate for firing on the basis of gross misconduct

Haven't rtft

Some guesses:
-This delight of a man drove the initial incident...

• His altercation was with a woman
• the initial incident was something to do with her not putting up with his misogynist bullshit.
• he's either been at the company 10 mins (cant read the culture) or 10 years (thinks he's boss of everything sue to tenure and "knowing where the bodies are buried")

I would escalate this and have it investigated as two separate incidents, it shows a pattern of behaviour/ inability to behave professionally

Depending on your HR I'd also be highly inclined to report your line manager for HIS bullshit "thats just what he's like" response to your initial flag.

Id also be looking to manage him out either via HR or via "starvation" (no pay rise no promotion no praise)

I’d say he knew he was in the wrong and was trying to deflect with (bad) humour. I’d report to hr.

His behaviour is awful, but I’m not sure it’s sex harassment as it doesn’t relate to sex. It could be sexual harassment if it’s reasonably perceived that way - and that isn’t just an act of daft laddish banter, it’s potentially gross misconduct, which has to be taken seriously as there is now a duty on employers to anticipate and prevent sexual harassment, and to take firm action when it does occur.

It also shows a pattern of behaviour - misconduct by arguing, unprofessionalism, and responding to a semi formal meeting by trying to shift the power balance and create an intimidating/humiliating environment.

I would say it warrants a disciplinary - or at the very least, a firm chat pointing out that his behaviour is unacceptable. Otherwise he will think it’s acceptable and you’ll end up with a repeat…

Hugely inappropriate, but can you imagine coming into a meeting with your manager about your inappropriate behaviour and asking her to smack your bottom? That’s basically what happened. This is an HR issue. I’m gonna guess this isn’t the first time he’s done stuff like this.