Strange interaction at work and no one else sees the issue?

Extraordinary behaviour - unprofessional and vulgar. He obviously has no respect for you as his manager and thinks that he's been there long enough that no one will do anything about him.

Time for a serious chat with HR!

Wow

Massively inappropriate

This. It's so unprofessional and gross.

Perhaps sadder still that other men think this is not only acceptable but hilarious. Time to get serious, OP.

I would take it as a joke and suggest you lighten up, but clearly the workplace is no place for fun

It was a serious situation. There had been an unprofessional incident. Context is also very important but you seem unable to grasp that.

He's been there 12 years longer than anyone in OP's team including her, so he's definitely in the "I'm untouchable" camp.

Absolutely knew from reading your OP the other person involved was a woman.

Hes a bully, and a creep. Call HR, I feel this escalation of behaviour is a disciplinary issue

Well suddenly I have insight into why Friday was unprofessional

Id take this to HR.

"Just what hes like" is usually code for disrespectful and inappropriate c*nt but youll get used to him. Don't get used to him.

Its inappropriate, its unprofessional, its potentially intimidating. Disgusting response to a potential grievance issue at work

Wildly, wildly inappropriate and I worry that your husband’s ’humour’ has made you lose sight of that.

in the moment, I would have told him it was unacceptable, cancelled the meeting and told him he would be meeting with me and HR instead.

Now you need to follow up with HR, and I’d probably do a mini investigation into the fight as he has demonstrated to you he does not know how to conduct him in the workplace.

Yes, it was completely inappropriate. Does this colleague have form for inappropriate behaviour? I wonder if perhaps he was a little nervous, and decided that being 'humourous', was the way to make the situation less formal. He was there because he'd had an argument with another colleague in front of the entire team - regardless if he was solely to blame for that incident or not, is irrelevant. He was still there to discuss what happened/why/and possibly to be disciplined. It wasn't the correct response, but it does make you wonder how seriously he is taking the incident? Also would he have pulled the same stunt if you'd been male?!! My guess is that he wouldn't.

WTAF! That is beyond inappropriate, and I’m stunned anyone thinks this is fine or just laughed at the behaviour.

I would be reporting to HR, it’s completely unacceptable.

I would write, on paper, to tell him that unprofessional behaviour like that automatically casts him as the villain of the piece on that Friday, and that he should consider the appropriateness of his humour in a working environment in future

HR. If nothing is said, he will do it again. On what planet does he think that is appropriate, in any workplace scenario, never mind a meeting with his manager about his behaviour?!

Incidentally, I find it hard to believe that anyone genuinely misunderstood the OP. People are so keen to excuse shit behaviour from men they’re prepared to make themselves look dim in the attempt!

There is a difference between arguing that behaviour actually was acceptable in times past, and stating factually that it was accepted.
I can clearly see that the sexism we were forced to tolerate in our early careers was unacceptable. However, that doesn't mean it wasn't accepted within the workplace culture of the time.
Women describing their experiences of sexual harassment being accepted (not acceptable) within the workplace culture are not lying, they are relating history.
It's wrong to deny those experiences and the additional challenges and disadvantage that caused for us, as they are the history that sparked progress.
Women relating these experiences as though they were a positive are problematic, I agree.

Suggesting she hit him with a belt is inappropriate enough, but he could also be alluding to her being his manager and authority figure means he sees her -in this scenario - as the Dominatrix and him Subservient.

Please don’t make it about age. Many of us older women had to deal with so much crap like this from men junior to us, and we did a lot of trail blazing for younger women in management.

Well we dont know if he would joke like that with a man as we dont know him. But yes not acceptable behaviour in the workplace.

Omg that's so inappropriate! I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have done that to a male. I'd report him to HR, so it's logged.

Totally unacceptable and inappropriate.

This is what HR are for. I ‘am HR’ and would want to know about this and take further action. He needs to know it is unacceptable, inappropriate and verging on sexual harassment/ misconduct.

There is no excusing it because “that’s just what he’s like”. If he’s prepared to behave like this to his manager, what the hell does he do to colleagues / customers?

Take this to HR please.

He was suggesting that she give him the belt which was a form of punishment at school in days gone by. Teacher or headmaster would take his belt off and hit the misbehaving child with it.

Which is exactly how these men get away with it. His behaviour was highly inappropriate, disrespectful and demeaning. It was designed to minimise his original behaviour and avoid the investigation and review process. It needs to be addressed strongly and clearly. I’m a woman in my 50s and am frankly too old to be putting up with this shit in the workplace.

Unfortunately in many workplaces it was acceptable. Women with a long work history who didn't experience it are fortunate, but there are those of us who did. We are not lying. Our experiences are important, as its the push back against them that has resulted in the better protection we have today.

So I think we can all guess who the main antagonist in that argument was then?

I hope you've reported this, it's absolutely ridiculous and inappropriate behaviour.

Same, I'm confused too.