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Original poster

What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

463 replies

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:55

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

OP posts:
Buzyizzy217 · 09/09/2025 19:28

That’s his decision. You’ve made yours. Is he often this controlling?

Cornishclio · 09/09/2025 19:27

My husband would probably help himself too but neither of us drink much. However he does not have the same views on alcohol as your husband does which seems slightly extreme. Only drinking on holidays and special occasions seems a bit weird but fine for him. However he should not compel you to follow the same rules. I would ignore him. I have no issue drinking alone but rarely do. I have more of an issue with my husband telling me what I should and should not do but luckily he is not like yours.

Ladygardenerinderby · 09/09/2025 19:26

Ooh sounds a tad controlling ? Is there a bit of a back story here re him controlling other things ?

YMZ · 09/09/2025 19:26

GiveDogBone · 09/09/2025 18:37

If you have a glass of wine every evening you are both alcoholics.

Show quote history

You must have 80% proof and extremely large wineglasses if that’s your opinion!😂
1.5 units in a small glass, and 14 units per week is the recommended amount. Check facts before spouting nonsense!

DisforDarkChocolate · 09/09/2025 19:25

He'd probably just ask to top me up later.

ThisMellowCat · 09/09/2025 19:25

Very odd behaviour, unless you had said you’d be designated driver on a night out.
otherwise from that he’d probably just say is mine chilling in the fridge.
im not one for drinking after work, although saying that I have a drink when I want one, but on most occasions would be in work all day saying I can’t wait to get home and sink a voddy and then get home and say ooh I’ll have a cup of tea, but that’s just me!

Atina321 · 09/09/2025 19:22

Has he mentioned your drinking before? Not excusing him but it does seem a strange reaction for a first offence. Unless he has talked to you about his feelings around drinking during the week before and asked you not to do it?

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 09/09/2025 19:18

Wouldn’t be an issue at all, unless I was falling about drunk.
I’m guessing you’re over 18, is he a controlling prick at other times?

Kerri44 · 09/09/2025 19:14

He'd say nothing as he knows it's only be 1and he's have 1 and we also rarely drink....but we've both lived in households with an alcoholic....me with my ex husband and him with a parent when growing up so neither of us have the desire to drink much or regularly

JKLolling · 09/09/2025 19:11

I suspect there is a LOT more to this than OP is letting on.

If OP didn't have a dependence on alcohol, randomly had one glss of wine and her husbamd came home and went mad about it she would probably tell him to fuck off or be on here asking how to leave him. Not the faux wide eyed innocence of 'what would your husband say here?'

I suspect in reality OP's drinking is a big concern and husbnd is reacting to that, while she is trying to get some replies off this thread to throw back at him.

How much do you drink in a week OP? Honestly?

BlueFlowerOwl · 09/09/2025 19:10

For me to have had a drink after work before he got home (v rare but not unheard of), he would know I’ve had a shitty day and happily join me.

LapsedTutor · 09/09/2025 19:04

There must be more to this, @khlolea

TheSquashyHatofMrGnosspelius · 09/09/2025 19:03

SquirrelsInSpace · 08/09/2025 18:57

Yikes. That's not OK. I drink when I want to drink.

This. He wouldn't even mention it because if I want a drink I have a chuffing drink. I wouldn't give him a second thought when I was pouring or drinking it and vice versa.

It wouldn't register with either of us. He doesn't drink unless I make mulled wine at Christmas and I drink maybe 25 - 30 units per annum

Generaltwat · 09/09/2025 18:59

Your husband is being controlling.

In my house if I or DH want a drink/food/go for a run/whatever then we do so.

ny20005 · 09/09/2025 18:58

Thought you were going to say it was lunch time Grin

my parents don’t drink at all & my dad thinks n anyone who has one drink is a raging alcoholic Hmm
I’ve obviously developed my own views on growing up & discovering other families have different ways of doing things & I’m quite partial to a midweek glass of vino after a stressful day

his reaction to you isn’t ok though. You’re an adult who can make your own choices, you don’t need his permission. I’d get a taxi to the nearest pub & let him stew Grin

NewAgeNewMe · 09/09/2025 18:53

GiveDogBone · 09/09/2025 18:37

If you have a glass of wine every evening you are both alcoholics.

Show quote history

You clearly have an issue with alcohol. A glass of wine a night is not an issue. I like the European attitude to wine with meals.

Bluestar1971 · 09/09/2025 18:47

Viot · 08/09/2025 19:15

On the face of it, his reaction is far more worrying than you having a drink.

Well said

Bluestar1971 · 09/09/2025 18:47

Ridiculous I am a husband and having the odd glass of wine after work is fine

Pinkypantspurple · 09/09/2025 18:47

minipie · 08/09/2025 18:59

He’d probably say “tough day then” or “on the sauce I see” with a bit of a raised eyebrow. But certainly wouldn’t be cross. He’s less likely than me to drink on a weeknight but it wouldn’t be unknown for either of us.

On the sauce I see !!!!!!!! I wish they still had the laughter emoji !

RisingSunn · 09/09/2025 18:46

He'd say "tough day?"

k8jr · 09/09/2025 18:43

He would check I'm alright as I don't drink much, but if it was just because I fancied a drink he'd be all for me having a cheeky chill out beverage and maybe join me.
This sounds like not only immature but also controlling behaviour from your husband. 🚩🚩🚩
Tbh if my partner kicked off and behaved like that at any point I would be extremely annoyed. Not okay.

Catcooper25uk · 09/09/2025 18:42

"Ooh I'm getting some tonight" lol
But in all seriousness it would be a non issue because I'm a fully grown independent adult that makes her own choices and my partner is not controlling in any way

godmum56 · 09/09/2025 18:41

Hankunamatata · 09/09/2025 18:34

There must be a reason for the way he feels about alcohol?

read all the OP's posts.

godmum56 · 09/09/2025 18:41

angelfacecuti75 · 09/09/2025 18:33

I have had this reaction as previously my DH had a drinking problem and it just got really bad.
He still drinks but I nearly ended the relationship over it (it wasn't him having one drink now and then -this was to a high level and not like what you are describing- as it is 1 and not excessive etc.)
Is it possible your dh had someone in his life e.g. a parent etc who had a drinking problem or had a bad day and over reacted but it wasn't necessarily about the drinking it was about the other thing and he took it out on you? Either way its a bit OTT and not acceptable. Maybe if you drank every night & to excess or had a drinking problem this would be mildly acceptable but even then its still OTT.

the Op has already described her partner's parents' attitude to drink. Anything except one glass on high days and holidays is dancing down the path to alcoholism.

Feelinglostatsea · 09/09/2025 18:41

My DH would probably think he was definitely onto some for the night and ask would i want a top up, bath and back rub🤣