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Original poster

What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

463 replies

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:55

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

OP posts:
thing47 · 10/09/2025 15:20

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 14:52

@Starlight1984

shes right though…you should only drink on special occasions or holidays.

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What do you mean by 'should'? Do you think a small amount of alcohol every day does you harm? There's very little solid evidence to back up that notion.

DH hardly drinks at all but I have a small glass of wine most evenings. At those small amounts its really just a case of personal choice, not some moral failing.

ThatWasJustANoise · 10/09/2025 15:15

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 14:52

@Starlight1984

shes right though…you should only drink on special occasions or holidays.

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This is not the first time you've amused me with your comments.

Whatafustercluck · 10/09/2025 15:12

Dh would say either "tough day?" or make a joke about starting early. He'd likely then use it as an excuse to join me. But then I don't drink much at all - very rarely on a week night and even on the weekend maybe one or two proseccos or G&Ts. It's all in the background context though, isn't it?

I'm well tuned into alcohol abuse and dependency, because several members of my family are alcoholics (dad and dsis included). A glass of wine several times a week is fine, providing there's no back story. Drinking something every day is a slippery slope and doesn't need to be a bottle of wine an evening to be a concern. Dsis was a glass a day drinker. She's now two bottles an evening and still doesn't see herself as an alcoholic.

NewAgeNewMe · 10/09/2025 15:11

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 14:59

@NewAgeNewMe

so you don’t become an alcoholic.

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🙄🙄🙄
the Europeans of which I’m one, drink beer/wine/whiskey most nights with dinner. I grew up in a house where from a young age we grew up around alcohol.

Tbh although I drink a fair amount, I can take it or leave it most of the time. I’ve not had any this week for an example, as I’ve not fancied any. If I was an alcoholic I’m pretty sure I would have done. I accept I’m a drinker mind you.

Cinaferna · 10/09/2025 15:10

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 14:52

@Starlight1984

shes right though…you should only drink on special occasions or holidays.

Show quote history

This just isn't true. A small (100ml or 125ml) glass of wine every day does no harm and if it is red wine, it is actually beneficial. Same with a small glass of dark beer - full of B vitamins. Drinking too much is bad for you. Drinking a little isn't. It just isn't.

Cinaferna · 10/09/2025 15:04

DH would ask if I was okay. We have a glass of wine every night together but I very rarely drink one on my own, so he'd assume I'd had bad news or a very stressful day. He, however, would have one whether I was there or not.

I can understand your DH being angry if you were drunk alone, though if it was a one-off, being worried would be a more reasonable reaction. But a single glass of wine is hardly the mark of descent into alcoholism and moral degeneration!

godmum56 · 10/09/2025 15:01

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 14:37

@Skybluepinky

totally agree…a drink on a week night is a slippery sleep to being an alcoholic . Your husband doesn’t want you to be decrepit, Op - listen to him.

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oh ffs

Judge Judy Eye Roll GIF
Swiftie1878 · 10/09/2025 15:00

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:58

No but it is a bit unusual for me to have a drink without him

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Then he should have checked you’re OK, and told you to enjoy your rare treat!

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 14:59

NewAgeNewMe · 10/09/2025 14:58

Why?

@NewAgeNewMe

so you don’t become an alcoholic.

NewAgeNewMe · 10/09/2025 14:58

Why?

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 14:52

Starlight1984 · 10/09/2025 14:44

Ah there you are!!!

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@Starlight1984

shes right though…you should only drink on special occasions or holidays.

Starlight1984 · 10/09/2025 14:44

GiveDogBone · 09/09/2025 18:37

If you have a glass of wine every evening you are both alcoholics.

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Ah there you are!!!

Starlight1984 · 10/09/2025 14:41

willitevergetwarm · 09/09/2025 14:50

My DH would join me. He quite often has one poured for me on a Friday evening as he is home first

No were not alcoholics before anyone starts down that road

Don't worry - most of us are normal and don't think that having a few wines over a weekend means you're an alcoholic 😉

And in response to the OP, my DH would be delighted, go and grab a quick shower and get changed and then come down and get me a top up whilst pouring himself one!

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 14:37

Skybluepinky · 10/09/2025 14:32

Sounds like a slippery slope, no I wouldn’t but hubby also would react like yours, maybe he thinks you have a problem and it’s him that’s having to deal with it.

@Skybluepinky

totally agree…a drink on a week night is a slippery sleep to being an alcoholic . Your husband doesn’t want you to be decrepit, Op - listen to him.

Skybluepinky · 10/09/2025 14:32

Sounds like a slippery slope, no I wouldn’t but hubby also would react like yours, maybe he thinks you have a problem and it’s him that’s having to deal with it.

Grammarnut · 10/09/2025 14:25

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:55

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

There is a cure for the silent treatment - which is abusive behaviour. Treat him to it for as long as you fancy. This is liable to end in divorce btw but my ex used to do this and sulk for days if I did something he did not like. I did not realise it was abuse, because he would be all happy and nice and supportive at other times and I would think if I just changed my behaviour it would all be ok, but it is.

Zimunya · 10/09/2025 10:44

Hollowvoice · 08/09/2025 19:24

If DH has an office day it's quite common for him to get back and find me with a glass of wine while I'm cooking. Sometimes he'll pour one too, sometimes he won't.

A friend gave me a fridge magnet which said, "I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food." Thought you might enjoy that!

Idinnaenah · 10/09/2025 10:27

Well, nothing probably. Might get one might not, but certainly wouldn’t go into a controlling sulk about it.

Cherrytree86 · 10/09/2025 10:16

Quite right too. You should not be drinking alcohol, full
stop.

Cabdiraxman · 10/09/2025 10:11

I would ask how many she had and then start drinking to catch up with her.

dh280125 · 10/09/2025 10:09

Would you like another one? We drink wine probably two nights a week, maybe more if we have house guests. Would never think anything of it. Husband sounds like he has problems.

ruethewhirl · 10/09/2025 09:22

GiveDogBone · 09/09/2025 18:37

If you have a glass of wine every evening you are both alcoholics.

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🤣🤣🤣

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 10/09/2025 08:15

He'd get a glass and join me or he'd make a cup of tea if he didn't want one then we'd chat about our day.

LilacReader · 10/09/2025 07:55

I'd be bloody annoyed that my partner is trying to control when I can or can't drink! Do you remember when the balance of your relationship change?

Emmz1510 · 10/09/2025 07:51

My OH would say ‘bad day?’ and probably be a bit surprised because I don’t normally drink after work except on a Friday when we’ll both have a few. He wouldn’t react like this. That’s not ok. Unless you are a raging alcoholic who’s not supposed to be drinking. Even in that context he should be talking to you not going on a rampage.