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Original poster

What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

463 replies

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:55

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 08/09/2025 19:07

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:58

No but it is a bit unusual for me to have a drink without him

Show quote history

I would be very surprised if he isnt controlling in other ways. That is an extreme reaction.

Mutability · 08/09/2025 19:06

He’d definitely be surprised, but would probably say ‘bad day?’ or similar.

Your husband sounds awful if this is how he’s reacted.

Iamthemoom · 08/09/2025 19:06

He’d be surprised if I was drinking on a weeknight so would probably comment but definitely not judge. Most likely comment would be to ask if I had a bad day and to want to hear about it and help.

OfficerChurlish · 08/09/2025 19:06

He'd join me or not, depending on whether he wanted a glass of wine. Maybe he'd have a beer or a coke instead.

Unless there's some missing context (you're a recovering alcoholic, you'd previously agreed to drive him somewhere in the next hour, you've drunk his wine he was saving for a special occasion) it's not his business. And even if there IS a reason for him to be concerned or upset, insulting you and slamming things around isn't a reasonable way to express that.

Randomlygeneratedname · 08/09/2025 19:06

He would say 'hard day then' as I drink alcohol about once every 6 months and would had to have gone out to buy it, which is an effort I would not usually make for alcohol 🤣. He would then probably join me unless he had a load of meetings planned the next day.

notacooldad · 08/09/2025 19:06

Me and Dh never drink at home unless else have friends round. We used to, about 15 years ago but got out of the habit. We drink pints of water in the evening.
We have loads of alcohol in,from both our 60ths parties that people left or gifted.

About a month ago it was really hot and I had a day off and it was lovely sitting on my swing egg chair.
I just fancied a long vodka lemon and lime so treated myself.
I told dh when he came home and he said 'good have you had a nice chill day' I had, and i hadn't had a drink since.

Original poster
khlolea · 08/09/2025 19:06

YodasHairyButt · 08/09/2025 18:58

If my DH reacted like yours has, I’d laugh at him and pour myself another. What’s his problem exactly? Is he against drinking completely? Does he think you’re an alcoholic? Or is he just being controlling?

I think we have different views on alcohol, my parents had the occasional glass of wine with dinner and our family socialised with bbq and drink but his mum once went mad when we had a drink in her garden one day.
I think he thinks drinks are for special occasions or holidays but to randomly have a drink on a work night is alcoholic behaviour and totally derogatory

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 08/09/2025 19:05

My DH probably wouldn’t really even notice. He certainly wouldn’t comment. A performance like that would be so far out of character I’d think he was unwell.

GriftLawProject · 08/09/2025 19:05

"Hi darling"

TheGodsOfTheCopybookHeadings · 08/09/2025 19:05

Ugh he sounds like a horrible man.

So you had a glass of wine. And?

Did he grow up in a home with an alcoholic?

BlueMum16 · 08/09/2025 19:04

YodasHairyButt · 08/09/2025 18:58

If my DH reacted like yours has, I’d laugh at him and pour myself another. What’s his problem exactly? Is he against drinking completely? Does he think you’re an alcoholic? Or is he just being controlling?

Me too!

BunnyRuddington · 08/09/2025 19:04

“How’s your day been?”

TheMagicDeckchair · 08/09/2025 19:04

I would find it a bit odd if I came in from work at 5.30, and found DH had had a beer after picking the kids up from school whilst making their tea etc on a Monday evening. But he’s a light drinker so that would be out of the ordinary. Even before we had kids, it would be unusual for either of us to have a drink before 7pm on a working weekday.

I definitely wouldn’t shout and sulk at him though! I’d just shrug it off and maybe join him for one later.

youalright · 08/09/2025 19:03

Either your an alcoholic and hes pissed of with you or hes controlling only you know the answer

Kangarude · 08/09/2025 19:03

He would probably ask if I was ok as I don’t usually drink at home, and especially as it’s a week day. It wouldn’t be a big deal though. Why is your DH so bothered?

LavenderBlue19 · 08/09/2025 19:03

Do you have a problem with alcohol? Have you previously said you won't drink in the week, or at all? The only person I know who complains her husband gets cross about her drinking is an alcoholic...

Personally I think my DP would be concerned more than anything, as he knows I don't like drinking at home on my own (very much an occasional social drinker).

Clariana · 08/09/2025 19:02

Do you know, I wouldn't GAF!

I have just had a pint of wine and my husband is standing cooking tea and hasn't said a word! ( In my defence I would like to point out I have had a very difficult day and I don't usually drink much at all!)

Stophittingyourbrother · 08/09/2025 19:01

Probably ask if I’m ok, as it wouldn’t be the norm.

Why is he furious? Sounds awful OP

perimenopoppet · 08/09/2025 19:00

Also to answer the question my DP would not say anything other than maybe check in to see if it had been a rough day at work. He might join me or might not but would not pass negative comment.

minipie · 08/09/2025 19:00

Yes if you do have the makings of a drink problem then that would explain his reaction.

Or he’s a bit of a controlling twat.

Only you know the answer OP.

CurlewKate · 08/09/2025 19:00

Mine would join me. But is there any sort of back story here?

Mangetouts · 08/09/2025 19:00

It would be a bit early for me so he'd ask if everything was ok. He definitely wouldn't be angry.

Amba1998 · 08/09/2025 19:00

“Oh tough day babe, go on if you’re having one I will”

perimenopoppet · 08/09/2025 18:59

Unless you have a drinking problem and/or were falling about drunk then his reaction is completely unreasonable. If you have no need to drive this evening, then as a grown adult it’s entirely up to you.

5128gap · 08/09/2025 18:59

He would have been delighted as it would have been the excuse he needed to join me. Because he had a drink problem. Reverse it and I would have reacted like your H. Because he had a drink problem. Its not what other Hs would do that matters, it's whether he has cause to worry about your drinking.