What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

is there alcoholism in his family or friend groups and he’s worried about you getting in to that slope? His reaction seems very extreme.

He either wouldn't notice, wouldn't care or pour himself one too.

Your DP's reaction isn't normal!

It may be unusual but it doesn’t mean you can’t…

weird response to someone having a drink. Honestly, who could be arsed causing an issue if their partner has a drink. Unless of course it’s a drink problem, but it really doesn’t sound like it is.

tell him to wipe his fanny and get over it.

He doesnt drink, but he also doesnt mind if I do. He would say 'day that good? Do you need me to pick up some more?' And let me waffle about whatever it was that had caused me to pour a drink that early.

And if he raged at me like yours, I wpuld ask him what had happened in his day, because it would be very unlikely him.

Mine would joined in!

"what did the kids do"?

“You better not have dipped into the expensive stuff”

He wouldn’t say much, it happens once a week or so. No big deal in our house.

I don't drink but I would think nothing of it. I might check in that your day went ok or that you were just enjoying a glass of wine and relaxing.

He's being authoritarian and controlling about a glass of wine. Slamming cupboards and not speaking, that's way over the top. This is his issue to resolve in a healthy manner, not having a mad fit.

My DH would say something like, "Oh, lovely. I'll have one too." He wouldn't be furious or slam cupboards or anything remotely like that. I can't even imagine him acting that way.

Your husband's behaviour is not acceptable. If he is acting completely out of character, then I'd be worried about him if I were in your shoes. But I'll hazard a guess that he is abusive in other respects as well?

Tell him clearly that you are an adult and you can decide if you want to have a glass of wine. And that you won't put up with his antics.

I'm not so sure my dp would even notice 🤣.

Well, I’m a recovering alcoholic, so he’d be pretty freaked out as I don’t drink!

I think it totally depends on the context. If you are a normal person who doesn’t have a drinking problem and this is a one off, he sounds uptight. If you have a drinking problem and this is going to kick off a binge and he’s going to have to pick up the pieces, I can see why he’s upset.

I don’t really care about people’s drinking around me, but I do get annoyed with Dh from time to time (who does not have a drinking problem), because he’ll complain about how he never gets time to work out and how he wants to cut down on drinking or eating junk, and then he’ll suddenly cancel a run and stay home drinking and eating crap instead. I don’t personally care, but I’m a big believer in you are responsible for making your own changes. You can’t drink midweek and eat crap and not exercise, and then get fed up that you’re feeling bloated and hungover and behind on your runs. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This sort of crap is why I haven't got a husband. Unless you are an alcoholic, you have a drink when you want one. For example, i had a glass of wine last night, but I haven't had one tonight. I might have a cocktail on Friday because I like to have a cocktail on Fridays but there's no rule about it.

Tell him you're not his mother and you'll do as you please.

@khlolea My husband would ask if I’ve saved him any 😂

You don’t need his permission to have a drink, I’d be inclined to pour another if he behaved this way

Cheers xx

That is a niche view, and he would have been better off marrying somebody teetotal if he feels that strongly about it.

I currently have a glass of wine in front of me, DH isn’t drinking today. I maybe get through one bottle of wine in a month, if that (this current bottle of wine had been in the fridge unopened since July).

DH doesn’t really care either way - he’d care if I had a drinking problem, but it doesn’t matter to him if I drink on a Monday night or Wednesday lunchtime.

My DHand I just disagreed on his reaction. He says he’d burst out laughing and ask what happened. I think he’d feint, then ask for one too.
NB I rarely drink.

Your husband’s reaction was not nice

Impossible to answer without more context.
Do you have a drink problem OP?
Does one glass make you drunk and you’re looking after young children?
Did you get wasted at the weekend and he had to clean up your sick?
Are you obnoxious when you’ve had a drink?
Does having one drink mean you’ll finish the bottle on your own and be drunk?
Is there a history of alcoholism in your family?

I don’t really drink at all - maybe 1-2 units per year - and DP is the same. If I came home and he’d had a glass of wine after work I’d be worried. It would be so out of character it would make me really scared that something was very wrong.

It would be extremely unusual for me to drink on a school night, so he would ask me how my day was. He may join me.
Either you have a problem with alcohol or your husband does. Only you know the answer.

He would say ‘prepare my vittles you drunken wench’

'Oh I think I'll join you'

'I dont fancy one'

'Oh you bloody lush.. as a joke'

Or similar.. I rarely drink but so what..

He is not my father, I'm over 18.
My DH doesn't drink, he wouldn't care or dare to lay down the law to me.
I can't stand sulking adults.

A single drink? Nothing.
He doesn't drink, I do. The occasional g&t at the weekend or a glass of wine with a meal.
I don't get falling down drunk or do anything dangerous or stupid, so it literally doesn't affect him at all.

Probably be concerned for me - I don't usually drink until all the kids are home incase someone needs collecting or dropping off if we have extra kids here.

Unless, of course, it's tonight, when I will be asleep when he finally gets home, because his flight was canceled, so he's got 7 hours on the train.

In your case, I'd be concerned about his behaviour. Assuming you have no further need to drive, there is nothing wrong with an occasional drink when you get home. You have done absolutely nothing worthy of a negative reaction. He has behaved badly.

Keep the bottle and ditch the bloke.

He would be concerned as it would seem out of character.