What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

DH would say "enjoy! I might join you with a beer"

This. I would add that generally speaking where I have seen one partner react like this to the other drinking what is apparently a non-controversial amount, it is because the partner who had the drink is struggling to control their drinking and the other one is getting to the end of their ability to cope with it.

It's very common for the partner with the problem to be in massive denial about the extent of it, minimise their own drinking, and paint the other one as a killjoy who can't relax and enjoy a nice drink with them.

No idea whether that's you or not, OP, obviously, I just don't know either way.

Mine would probably ask if I had left any for him.

Is it only one drink though, and is this really a rare occurrence?? If the answer to these is genuinely yes, is he always this irrational?

Neither of us drink that much. We grew up in very different households. one where alcohol is for high days and holidays, and the other with experience of alcoholism. Over time, him not joining me has meant I drunk less. I don't really care about this and am happy with my choices now.

However - there is a difference between not joining me and someone having a temper tantrum because you had a drink. That is weird and controlling UNLESS you have a drink problem.

No health reasons not too, trying to get pregnant? Or he has a fear of alcohol use in some way?

He sounds likeman aggressive dickhead. Is he normally such a twat @khlolea ?? Dreadful behaviour from him!

Well, I’ve been tee-total for a couple of years now so he’d be surprised and I think worried given the reasons I stopped, but before I did decide to stop drinking, he’d not have even commented. It’s such a non-issue but even if it wasn’t, his behaviour and treatment of you are appalling. He has absolutely no right to act that way.

He’d prob wonder what had happened. I never drink but not because he doesn’t like it! What a weird response, why is he so angry about it?!

If I'd been at work he'd probably be more surprised if I hadn't!!

Who made him the drink police? Major overreaction. He needs to relax. And I don't even drink

Do you want a cigarette to go with it - joke.

I think he'd be surprised, because I'm not much of a drinker. He might ask if everything is ok, but I wouldn't expect a reaction beyond that.

My DH is teetotal and I rarely drink.

On the odd occasion I’ve fancied a glass of wine he’s asked if I’ve chosen a nice one (or we’ve joked about the Simpson’s episode where dramatic horror music plays every Marge takes a sip).

If he reacted like your DH I’d silently pick up the bottle and fill the glass right to the top. What kind of grown man has a passive aggressive tantrum because his wife had a single glass of wine after work? He should be embarrassed.

Unless you have a problem with alcohol or he has reason to suspect you have the beginnings of a problem with alcohol and you've previously discussed this... he's a controlling twat.

Based on what you've said it sounds very much in the controlling twat category and that his family are massive, Puritanical control freaks.

There are circumstances when its legitimate to be exasperated if a spouse is drinking alone at home. This doesn't sound like that, it sounds like small man syndrome and he's pissed at you because you've done something under your own steam.

Unless you have reason to be concerned about your drinking... tell him to grow up.

DH would assume I had a tough day and grab a drink too. I never drink during the week so it would be unusual but it would be more “aw shit day?” Than “OMG YOU ARE A DISGRACE”.

He wouldn’t care at all - might ask if everything was ok because I rarely drink midweek, but he wouldn’t be bothered if I just fancied a glass of wine.
Does your DH treat you like this often? He sounds abusive

My ex is a weird man, who takes offence to weird things but no reaction. A few times he'd come home and I'd had a few drinks, and he was absolutely fine.

Why would he act this way? Do you have an issue? Or is the issue his? There's an issue, where?

I don’t drink much, mainly because my wife (both women) doesn’t drink much. I wouldn’t usually drink alone. My wife is also a bit OTT when people drink regularly as she always thinks it’s a drink problem. She’s probably right tbf as she’s talking about my parents but I’ve grown up around big drinkers so I see it as normal.

Bearing all that in mind if I opened a drink randomly before she got home I’d think she would be bewildered as it’s not normal for me but she’d prob just open one for herself. She deffo wouldn’t be angry with me

unless your drinking is problematic, he’s the problem here. Who put him in charge?

My DH would be fine but l am not dependent on alcohol .

If I’d poured the whole bottle in a glass and refused to share it, he might be a bit miffed.

in truth he’s more likely to have a drink than me. I’m jealous (can’t drink on a work night and be pleasant), and might say, Monday beer?! With a slight disapproving tone 😬

He would either say nothing, or he would ask what wine I was drinking and then swill it round the glass and then put his nose in my glass and take a big sniff, maybe even taste it and wash it around his mouth (because he’s got an interest in wine and done courses etc). Then I would say ‘urgh do you have to’? Then he would most probably pour himself a glass. He would never get angry about that and never gives me the silent treatment for anything.

Hes behaving like a twat

Mine would be really happy tbh, he likes the odd beer or glass of wine and keeps saying he would like it if we could have a drink together at home now and then but I am always too tired or too busy.
Slamming doors and being aggressive becuase you are having a drink is not good at all. Do you drink all the time or get aggressive when you are drunk? Still not acceptable to be aggressive even if toubare, but could explain why he could be upset if you are?