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Original poster

What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

463 replies

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:55

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

OP posts:
PilatesAndLattes · 08/09/2025 22:47

My DH would be annoyed too, but would just show it by looking disapproving and being quiet/off with me.

LibbyOTV · 08/09/2025 22:38

Nothing at all - if i was tipsy he's probably tease affectionately. Very odd to be so angry

thing47 · 08/09/2025 22:31

@khlolea my DH, like yours, doesn't drink in the week. But he will happily pour me a glass of wine every evening, sometimes two (our wine glasses are very small). This is what I would consider normal behaviour.

notnowfred · 08/09/2025 22:31

He’d be amused. Might pour himself one depending on whether he has more work to do.

Blondebakingmumma · 08/09/2025 22:29

My husband would top up my glass and pour himself one

ihavebecomecomfortablynumb · 08/09/2025 22:29

He’d ask me to pour him one, we both have stressful jobs. But I’m an adult who doesn't need anyone's permission to have a drink, if I want one I have one.

Coffersmat · 08/09/2025 22:28

I would tell him pack a bag or I would pack one.

WTF?
You can't seriously think this controlling highly abusive behaviour is acceptable?

I hope you don't have children with him.

longtompot · 08/09/2025 22:23

@khlolea my dh would pour himself one or ask me to pour him one, but he wouldn't judge. It would be unusual for me to have a drink early in the evening on a weekday so he wouldn't probably ask of everything was ok.
From what you've said about his mum it sounds like he has very confused views on drinking and what's considered normal or ok and what isn't. But he needs to talk to you not give the not giving silent treatment

tuvamoodyson · 08/09/2025 22:20

He’d be more than surprised…I rarely drink.

Icanttakethisanymore · 08/09/2025 22:17

Nothing at all, unless he wanted one too (which he wouldn’t if it was wine but might if I had a beer).

It really doesn’t matter how your DP feels about alcohol unless you’ve made some kind of commitment to him that you won’t drink. You’re an adult. You can have a drink after work if you like.

Quackedout · 08/09/2025 22:17

I would have felt this way about my ex, who is an alcoholic. His personality would change. I would assume you change, and he doesn't like it.

NewAgeNewMe · 08/09/2025 22:16

I drink every night, unless driving or dh away. Dh doesn’t drink on a Monday. He may comment if I’ve had a bubbles/g&t, more than half a bottle of an evening and then a nightcap, but not always, as I call him a miserable sod.

Medication issues has now meant I’ve had to ditch the nightcap & reduce to a glass of wine rather than the half a bottle. G&t/bubbles now strictly for the weekend. 😢

ThorsMistress · 08/09/2025 22:15

I just asked DP. His reply, ‘nothing’

WildLeader · 08/09/2025 22:15

Oh ffs @khlolea sit that man down and tell him that he can do what he does and that’s fine.

you had a glass of wine after work and that is completely normal and you’re not going to put up with this behaviour from him.

it’s ridiculous

is he controlling in any other area of your life?

Projectme · 08/09/2025 22:12

MrsTrellisOgleddCymru · 08/09/2025 19:14

My DH would probably comment ‘You alcoholic old trout!’ Then pour me another drink and one for himself.

Exactly what my DH would say/do! 😂

Glitter0 · 08/09/2025 22:07

He wouldn’t care, and would probably say I love this! You’re not drinking alone, pour me one!

gingercat02 · 08/09/2025 21:56

Oh good are we having wine, or you're a bad influence
He would likely join me anyway

winter8090 · 08/09/2025 21:56

The right response is nothing.

speaking to you like a disgrace and slamming doors is the wrong response.

Why is he so angry?

Mummamap · 08/09/2025 21:56

My husband would pour me another. It wouldn’t batter an eyelid. I often have a glass while cooking

moderate · 08/09/2025 21:54

If normal drinking wasn't modelled at home for him growing up, but he heard tell of people drinking alone developing alcoholism, he's probably got a bit of a skewed perspective.

Strikingitlucky · 08/09/2025 21:54

My husband would look, smile, and say tough day babe whilst grabbing a can of larger.. then we would talk about our day..

Definitely an unusual reaction from your DH.

Walkingroundincircle22 · 08/09/2025 21:53

That's not a normal reaction at all. A normal reaction would be 'Bad/long day?'

Don't let him control you. Have another one tomorrow and tell him to sort himself out.

sophiecygnet · 08/09/2025 21:52

Ah! Malbec is it. Have we run out of Merlot?
For Context: Now we don't need to drive anywhere in the evening we have wine every day.

IWillNotChange · 08/09/2025 21:52

toomuchfaff · 08/09/2025 21:32

You can have an opinion on alcohol, thats its for special occasions etc, but the difference here is hes turned into a petulant child and is now stomping round like a toddler, silent treatment the lot... sounds a bit toxic... a bit immature, no respect for you? Would he treat his boss the same if there was a work event, and ge saw his boss with a glass of wine? No... he wouldn't. So he thinks its ok to treat you like that why?

Show quote history

This is what I came here to say
You are an adult who can drink wine if you want to
Your DH stomping around being an arse because he disapproves is the problem here

Brightlittlecanary · 08/09/2025 21:45

That’s really odd and concerning behaviour op. I’d pour myself another and tell him to fuck off to thr spare room till he could behave like a reasonable human being, amd remind him I’m an adult who does as she pleases. And I can assure you he’d be in no doubt, his behaviour would not be tolerated a second time. And no my husband doesn’t bat an eyelid, nor do I if he has one. As we are grown ups and normal reasonable people.