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Original poster

What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

463 replies

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:55

I have had a glass of wine tonight after work, thought why not?
Dh is home and is furious, speaking to me like a disgrace and slamming cupboards.
I now have an uncomfortable silence which isn’t quite a silence because he’s saying he’s not giving me the silent treatment.

OP posts:
moderate · 09/09/2025 08:04

Ask your DH:

  • if he thinks you need help, why he's acting so hostile
  • if he doesn't, why he hasn't shut the fuck up
jeaux90 · 09/09/2025 06:35

Does your husband treat you like a child usually?

Mine would just join in.

Natsku · 09/09/2025 06:15

Mine doesn't really drink himself (once in a blue moon he'll have a beer with a friend) but he'd not say anything to me if I had a drink on a work night. If I was drinking frequently I expect he'd raise a concern, to make sure I'm alright and not developing a problem.

WalkDontWalk · 09/09/2025 06:00

‘Would you like a top up while I’m in the kitchen?’

Crushed23 · 09/09/2025 04:30

One of life’s greatest joys is being a disgrace from time to time. I’m currently having a burger, fries and beer on a Monday night. 😎 (I’m on holiday, sort of.)

Your DH sounds very controlling.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 09/09/2025 03:28

Mine would be pleased. He would probably pour himself one or at the very least give me a hug and ask if I wanted a top up.

Collaborate · 09/09/2025 02:33

If he reasonably thinks you’re an alcoholic he is being perfectly reasonable. In that instance you are unlikely to be able to see it yourself as that is the nature of alcoholism.

Notmyrealname22 · 09/09/2025 02:30

Mine would make a joke about me having a party for one. Then he would offer to pour me a top up or join me. He would not go off like a controlling nutter.

BauhausOfEliott · 09/09/2025 02:11

Unless you were drunk as a skunk and behaving like a twat, and/or you are an alcoholic falling off the wagon, your husband is a complete prick.

M103 · 09/09/2025 01:08

Either say nothing or say he'll have one himself.

Ratafia · 09/09/2025 00:07

My DH wouldn't turn a hair. It's not as if one glass of wine is going to do any more than relax you a bit, after all, unless it was a huge glass.

You need to ask him what the hell his problem is, and exactly why.

lazyarse123 · 08/09/2025 23:59

Sounds like his mum has given him a complex about drinking. I'd just tell him to mind his business if he said anything, I'm a grown woman and don't need anyone's permission to do anything.
We are both retired and one morning I made a sandwich about 10.30 and my dh made a face and said "it's a bit early for dinner" I just told him that I was hungry , end of discussion.

NoKidsSendDogs · 08/09/2025 23:55

Nicksschiffon · 08/09/2025 18:56

'Pour me one then' or something to that effect

Same. Neither of us try to control the other's drinking bc we are adults. If he was abusive and had a drinking problem or vice versa, sure, but otherwise nope. I'm assuming this isn't your issue either op.

Grammarnut · 08/09/2025 23:49

My DH is dead but I can answer. It would never occur to him that it was odd. He'd have joined me. What's wrong with a glass of wine or a beer or a G and T on a work night? One might well need to wind down.

MaxineHarper · 08/09/2025 23:32

CultureAlienationBoredomandDespair · 08/09/2025 18:58

It would depend. If it was a hot day and I was in the garden having a wine or beer he wouldn’t say anything. If I was just indoors drinking or on spirits he’d probably check if my day had been ok. He wouldn’t be angry but maybe a bit concerned as it would be out of character.

Same

Cherryicecreamx · 08/09/2025 23:28

khlolea · 08/09/2025 18:58

No but it is a bit unusual for me to have a drink without him

Show quote history

If this is the case, does he think something is up then.. looking at it as a bad day rather than you just fancying it? But then I'd argue that surely he should ask you if he's got any concern over the silent non silent treatment!

I enjoy a cheeky glass of wine after work! Or a glass to compliment a meal. Doesn't mean we're all raging alcoholics.
Does he feel left out?! 😅

Maddy70 · 08/09/2025 23:27

My DH wouldn't give a shit

BoredZelda · 08/09/2025 23:22

khlolea · 08/09/2025 19:06

I think we have different views on alcohol, my parents had the occasional glass of wine with dinner and our family socialised with bbq and drink but his mum once went mad when we had a drink in her garden one day.
I think he thinks drinks are for special occasions or holidays but to randomly have a drink on a work night is alcoholic behaviour and totally derogatory

Show quote history

Presumably this isn’t the first time it’s come up?

Mothership4two · 08/09/2025 23:16

What would your husband say if he came home from work and you’d had a drink?

Doubt he's even make a comment about it

Mothership4two · 08/09/2025 23:14

khlolea · 08/09/2025 19:06

I think we have different views on alcohol, my parents had the occasional glass of wine with dinner and our family socialised with bbq and drink but his mum once went mad when we had a drink in her garden one day.
I think he thinks drinks are for special occasions or holidays but to randomly have a drink on a work night is alcoholic behaviour and totally derogatory

Show quote history

But he knows you OP and knows this is (presumably) unusual behaviour for you and therefore you aren't verging on alcoholism?

In this scenario (out of character) I would probably just ask my OH if everything was OK at work

justasking111 · 08/09/2025 23:06

khlolea · 08/09/2025 19:06

I think we have different views on alcohol, my parents had the occasional glass of wine with dinner and our family socialised with bbq and drink but his mum once went mad when we had a drink in her garden one day.
I think he thinks drinks are for special occasions or holidays but to randomly have a drink on a work night is alcoholic behaviour and totally derogatory

Show quote history

So his mother has an issue with alcohol. He will have been raised around this.

Any alcoholics in his family @khlolea

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 08/09/2025 23:04

He’s clearly inherited his mother’s hang-ups about alcohol. An adult having an occasional drink at home after work when they fancy one is perfectly normal. My husband did this tonight. I didn’t, but I might tomorrow. He needs to discuss things and talk about what he’s so angry and fearful rather than sulking like a child and slamming cupboards. Now that is the unhealthy behaviour.

ThatNaiceMember · 08/09/2025 22:59

popcornandpotatoes · 08/09/2025 22:59

He'd be delighted at an excuse to join mostly I think. your husband sounds horrible

This!

popcornandpotatoes · 08/09/2025 22:59

He'd be delighted at an excuse to join mostly I think. your husband sounds horrible

FancyCatSlave · 08/09/2025 22:53

I couldn’t live like that @khlolea he sounds absolutely hideous. I bet it’s not his only weird thing either.

It wouldn’t even register in our house, drinking wine is an entirely normal thing. I drink far less these days and often go a month or more without any but then I might have a glass or two every night for a week. When STBEX and I were together we’d sometimes drink together, sometimes separately. He drank mostly red and I prefer white so we rarely shared a bottle but we both drank similar amounts but not necessarily at the same time.

No problem drinking in our house although my father is an alcoholic but not the stereotypical sort, so I know the difference between normal drinking and problematic.