To think most rich people don’t understand how the rest of us live?

I think a lot depends on

• How rich you are
• Whether you've always been that well off or not
• Whether you've ever had contact with people less wealthy than you.

Many people on benefits are getting more than someone working full time on the median wage. Their benefits aren't taxed and some equate to £40Kpa (gross.)

Where on earth are you seeing this advice?

If it's 'influencers' or on social media then don't believe a word of it.

I don't understand where you are coming from with this.

Why are you following podcasts if what you want is sensible advice?

What kind of advice do you need?

Clearly the 'advice' you're looking at it not targeted at you or your friends would know you can't just buy a house.

Why are you wasting your time watching 'influencers'?

Anyone can call themselves an influencer.

Yes, the gap is massive in your examples.

Who are these people? Do you know them real life?

I remember seeing a post on here from a formerly high earning guy who'd gone through some misfortune resulting in losing his job and having to look after his kids on his own, and not being able to farm everything out to hired help or eat out all the time and he kept saying 'I don't know how people do it' which annoyed me as the simple answer is - people do it by going without.

My friend in her 4.5 million mansion used to recommend Joseph coats to me EACH BLOODY winter

I'm lucky if I get a coat in the Next sale

She often complained about the struggles with a new born
When I went to see her once she showed me the nanny quarters in the top half of the mansion where she had two Nannie's (one for day and one for night)

Sweet divine !!!!!!!!

I'm more of a charity shop Asda girl but each to their own

I can’t speak for the really rich*, but many older people who are now comfortably, or very comfortably off, knew all too well when younger, what it was like to have hardly any money, to have to watch every penny.

And that didn’t just apply to ‘poor’ WC families - both mine and dh’s were MC skint, not at all unusual then. One of the things we had in common when we first met was that crisps, orange squash and chocolate biscuits were things we only ever had at other people’s houses, or at birthday parties.

Might add that we were both determined that our own children would fare rather better!

*I know personally only one, but he came from exactly the same sort of background. And I do know that after a minor traffic accident (his fault) that meant a young woman’s old banger of a car was a write off, he gave her a substantial sum, enough to replace it with a rather better one.

I do think it’s hard to understand if you’ve never been poor. You might not have as much money left over at the end of the month as you’d want, but it’s not the same desperate feeling of not knowing if you’ll even be able to afford basic food to keep you going until the next pay day.

I’ve been this poor before, I’m doing ok now but I don’t earn anywhere near the 6 figure salary everyone seems to want on here.

I have to say it does wind me up when rich people try and claim they struggle to get by. You could have bought a smaller house, or a cheaper car, or sent your kids to a different nursery. Poor people do not have that choice. It’s not the same and it’s insulting to the people who really are struggling.

I agree. People on lower incomes get top up benefits and say they live in a council house they get cheap rent and no maintenance or repair bills to pay.

Please don't judge everyone like that. I'm one of those people and would never dream of lecturing anyone because I grew up poor and remember what poverty is really like. 1970's - Couldn't go to school sometimes because I had no shoes, go to bed fully dressed because we had no heating (not just no money for heating but no actual source of heat), go to bed hungry because there was no food, scraping together pennies to be able to buy one egg from the corner shop to share with my sibling. Free university got me out of that and I've never forgotten it. Plenty of people never manage it and never will. Not my place to judge anyone. I will judge the despicable economic system we live under though.

So you are talking about an influencer who didn’t give advice to a poor person to buy house instead of renting, take a year off to travel. Your op was misleading. It sounded like you discussed your problems with a rich friend and they offered you these shallow, unrealistic solutions.

Influencers talk to their audience who chose to follow. I agree there is a lot of shallowness on social media. That’s how it works now. You can unfollow them.

I think this is an important point. It’s less that “well off” people don’t realise, but more that they are not directly affected, and so don’t have to trouble themselves with other people’s struggles.

But all those things you list costing high earners are choices.
You choose to have a big house or live in an expensive area. You choose to have children and put them in childcare. Council tax again is relative to the size of the home you buy.
So sorry no it’s not remotely comparable to someone struggling on a low income. As a high earner you have infinitely more choices.

It's all relative.

There was someone on here yesterday complaining about only being able to save £5k a year, with a mortgage and not able to afford to get married. 🙄

We are detached from her reality, too.
We also don’t know what it’s like to live in a care home.
I also can’t imagine living in the Outer Hebrides.

I do understand the point, however I also think a lot of people who consider themselves working class don't realise they likely have similar income to middle class. It's the term "rich" that I think most people have issue with on these threads. Unless it's specified what the OP means by it - earning £40k? Single household? 2 people earning £20k? or are we talking one person living in London earning £50k? See, the situation means each of those are likely feeling the pinch but the couple possibly not so much, given various ways society is set up to help them.

As someone very middle class single mum who happens to have used all of the inheritance they are likely to get on school fees, which are now running out, I don't feel rich. Yet I do understand that a lot of people who haven't had to make the choices I have would tell me I'm rich or an idiot or both. I could have used it to make my house completely new with an extension, multiple holidays and a new car, given DD a house even if she failed school at the local comp. But what is the point in that? I want a DD who can earn her own money and contribute to society and who isn't relying on a giant nest egg. She knows she is very lucky with schooling but she also knows what it's like not to have holidays and not get everything she wants. I feel it's the best of both worlds. I resent that my choices mean the inheritance gets taxed AGAIN but really if the govt want to take away all the middle classes savings, they won't have it in their coffers in IHT for the future when I die. Not my problem by then.

I think this is just life really. Most people only fully understand the lives of the people who are in the same position they are, you only know what you know.

Exactly - which is why rich people go bankrupt too!

Define “a lot”?

It is possible to be earning quite a bit more than someone on NMW but still have the same amount of disposable income.

I lived through extremely hard times in my childhood actually. Worked hard at terrible secondary school, one of the few people who managed to emerge with good grades, went to uni with a full maintenance grant, studied hard, did professional exams, all to give my kids an easier childhood than I did. I know a lot of people in my workplace with similar stories. It’s experiencing poverty in childhood that makes you want to strive for more, so your children can eat properly, go on holiday, buy quality clothes that last rather than the cheapest possibly clothing (this was always a false economy!).

I think my sort of story will become less common in the future unfortunately where your lifestyle will be more dependent on any inheritance you do or don’t receive, and this understanding between the socioeconomic groups will become even less.

Cheap house was in swindon

I follow a fashion influencer on YT and IG. She is/was obviously rich before her influencer status.

Yesterday I was watching one of her recent videos in which she was showcasing her latest autumn wardrobe. She started off by stating that nice clothes do not need to be expensive then went on to show approx 6 items, all from Lilysilk and totalling around £1,500. She then proceeded to show off her room which she has had kitted out specifically for her wardrobe showcase videos and telling everyone that her home has 6 bedrooms.

I sat there thinking how detached these people are from everyday reality.

I agree. I saw a lovely house on mumsnet last week..four bed semi…315 thousand asking price. That house would be 700 to 800 thousand in Greater London or probably more in London. No child benefit, high taxation, high train fares, and very expensive nursery care.