To think most rich people don’t understand how the rest of us live?

Quite in the same way as no forced the person in min wage to piss around at school not get any qualifications, and end up serving coffee.

people moaning that they can't live on 100k, why not quit and get a min wage job? Oh wait...

Nobody forced you to take out a 4 grand a month mortgage and private school fees?

Haha. So did I! In my case it came from mishearing my dad referring to an area as posh as so many houses had porsches outside.

Yes but you'd be paying all this in what is likely to be a much nicer house and car than the rest of us.

Yes, thank you. It appears i misunderstood. I was confused by your statement you only care about 'your lane', suggesting you have no interest in the experience of those outside it. You followed that by saying that its small minded to care what other people think. Which I took to mean it was small minded to care about wider opinions.

I don’t think it’s daft. When I was young, I assumed anyone who had a porch on their house was rich.

” Rich” means different things to different people.

you don’t know what it’s like to live in a care home. You visit your mum in her care home.

if you visited me, it doesn't mean you know what it’s like to be me and live in my house.

That's a daft question given the context

A toolmaker may work in a factory, but they are a highly skilled and well paid engineer. It’s not like his father was packing sausages or sweeping swarf. Just because his parents didn't pay for his education, doesnt mean it wasn't solidly MC to go to grammar and private school on a bursary in a solidly MC commuter belt town. They owned their own home, and had four children, and a TV when they were still seen as a luxury item (we rarely had one, when we did it was rented); I’m ten years younger than Starmer).

This!!!

I don't think we understand each other. You are acting as though I don't want to understand other points of view and I'm telling you that I don't care about what rich people do or don't understand.

Is that clearer?

You can, actually.

Anybody can experience a severe accident, a family member with a disease, redundancy, loss of a partner, employer going bust, loss of a major client, downturn in business. Remember that.

If older, with a good pension, they can dip into it, or take early retirement and work again when things pick up.

It's easier for those who have paid off the mortgage, and have been able to build up a cushion of savings.

A person living hand to mouth has none of those options.

OOI, I have personally experienced all of those things.

But I have been lucky enough to have had some ups as well as some downs.

I think you're right, OP. I came across that sort of lack of understanding many times when I was younger.

I recall when DH and I bought our first house. It was a very small house on a housing estate, surrounded by other houses all the same design. We were thrilled with it. However, a wealthy friend from church came round for a cuppa one afternoon and commented that she tended to prefer houses that were unique and not just a "box" and she asked why we'd gone for two bedrooms and not three. I said we'd got the best possible house we could afford. She then had the cheek to say, "well I personally wouldn't consider anything with less than five bedrooms"! She lived in an enormous old farmhouse in about 3 acres of garden - and was utterly clueless as to what it was like to be in my situation.

On another occasion, DH and I were invited to a New Year's Eve party by a friend. I accepted verbally and was very excited (as we hardly ever went out anywhere) but then I received the printed invitation and saw that it had a ticket price of £25 per person and a dress code of black tie and dinner jacket for the men and evening dress for ladies. That meant we couldn't possibly go, as not only could we not afford the tickets, we didn't own anything suitable to wear and couldn't afford to rent it. So I had to decline. The friend was quite offended and kept saying that it was really good value and a nice opportunity to dress up. That may well have been true but we simply couldn't afford it.

Nowadays, I find myself in the opposite situation and I am actually now very comfortably off and never have to worry about money. But I haven't forgotten those other times when we were very hard up and I hope that I am never insensitive towards people who have less money than I do.

Well the trouble is that it’s often not food but the foreign holiday that people are classing as essential - if you can’t afford the absolute basics it’s one thing but there are an awful lot of people who are just poor at money management and self restraint

Yes, me too. Afterall debt can only be caused by big SUVs, annual holidays, outdoor rattan furniture complete with fake grass, hot tubs (also apparently known as cest pools), and velour furniture, huge tvs, and sofas on MN. Imagine the thought that people need to eat! 🤔

I think many rich people don't understand that not everyone has the mindset to create from nothing - they can see how people can get out of their position but when to talk to them is all your hear is barriers and how everything is someone elses issue.

No, but when my car was dying, someone told me to 'just buy a new one'.

I always love the “can’t you just use your spare room?” 😂🙄

What i hate is the smug 'I have 0 debt, if i can't afford it, i go without'
Sorry but for some people that would mean going without food, accommodation and heating.

I once took an incredibly rich man (who'd lived in London for about 20 years and raised three children there) on his first tube journey. If you remember how Harry Potter had to show Arthur Weasley how to use ticket barriers etc in whichever film it was where they take the tube to the Ministry of Magic, that was this guy.

I mean, I'm not sure he'd ever been north of Oxford Circus either. His London and mine didn't resemble one another.

Isn't that (largely) the whole point about lifestyle etc influencers?

Quite. The tube/trains are quicker (when not on strike)!

The only really wealthy people (ourselves included) I know well enough to properly understand for a discussion like this are actually all very aware of how the 'other half' live, because we've all been there and we've actually all stayed grounded in that reality after achieving financial security - whether that's been through work or luck.

I think there are two much worse kinds of people. One is not particularly rich by their own standards but extremely lucky: the stereotypical boomer who has done really well through happenstance. Big final salary pensions, riding the housing waves, high average career salaries in secure jobs (often with little by way of qualification) who cannot get their heads around the idea that even their own children, almost always far better educated than them, just cannot achieve the same standards of living from the same type of employment - and often cannot even land the same kind of income. Their idea of how Gen Xers and millennials 'should' be living is so far out of kilter with reality, and they refuse to acknowledge it.

The other is those who really should rein their spending in but don't, and cannot fathom why sensible peers won't keep up with them. Within our social circle we know quite a few of these: fairly middle income, they want to eat out together regularly at fancy restaurants, or take the kids to expensive activities every weekend. They dress their kids in designer clothes, and so on. It baffles them when we decline to join them on a £200 meal out and pootle around in Dacias instead of Mercedes SUVs. They spend every single penny that comes in, and a bit more on top for good measure, have absolutely nothing in reserve, and think it is completely normal.

This can be a cyclical problem. Many people struggling with life circumstances and finances aren't going to have the time/energy etc. to stand for election. The people who are more likely to stand for election have certain privileges that allow them the time and energy to do so. This isn't a dig at people who stand for election nor an assumption that they are all super privileged and find it easy, not at all, but it's simply a kind of organic issue that arises that the people who end up in power are there because they're able to be, usually because of privileges that are alien to many people they represent.

Some people who aren’t well off at all but are very frivolous with money don’t understand either. They’ll say ‘…Oh book a holiday for next week and get away!’ whenever anyone in our group has a minor inconvenience.