FIL letting DS have a couple of sips of beer

I remember growing up that my parents would let me have an ickle drink occasionally. As @Sundaymorningcalla said, it enables you to have a healthy relationship with drinking.

I was allowed a weak sweet martini with lemonade on New Years Eve, and from the age of about 10 I had half a small glass of wine with Sunday dinner. My Granny would sometimes buy a bottle babycham if she knew I was going over.

Why is no-one considering the health effects of a young child drinking alcohol? Children's bodies of that age are not able to process even a small smount of alcohol. Even a very small amount can cause serious health issues, including central nervous system issues, low blood sugar, seizures.... so all those who think it's ok, you just carry on!!! Risk your child's life over something totally needless and avoidable. And to say "it never did ME any harm" is always ridiculous!! Not everyone is the same so that comparison doesn't hold water. The age restrictions exist for a reason !!!

If it's literally a couple of sips eg a teaspoonful then this is really no big deal. A kid would get more alcohol from eating a slightly over-ripe banana. The question is whether anyone is minimising several big gulps into "a couple of sips" to hide the facts. Some people think that alcohol should be a complete mystery to children until their 18th birthday, others think that a small amount does no harm and that children benefit from it being demystified and no big deal. Have a proper conversation with DH and agree a policy you are both happy with. Expect and require that the wider family respects and adheres to the policy that you decide.

I’d ask him not to do that again, but I wouldn’t give it much more thought than that especially if it’s a good relationship otherwise.

I wouldn’t have any problem with this at all.

I don't think it's 'weird' as you say in your first post. Mostly, when people let a child have a sip of an alcoholic drink, it's because they know full well the child won't actually like it and it will put them off it. I can remember my uncle letting my younger cousin have a sip of his wine at my grandparents' golden wedding dinner, and then everyone laughing when she pulled an utterly disgusted face and declared that grown-ups were mad for drinking it when it tasted so horrible.

However, of course if you'd rather your FIL didn't do this, just ask him not to. YANBU to want your FIL not to let your child taste his beer, but YABU to fret about it to the degree that you seem to be doing currently.

50 years ago my parents allowed me to drink a very small glass of wine diluted with water to see what it tasted like. I have been teetotal all my life as I just don't like alcohol. Let him share a grandad moment as these are things he will lovingly remember when he is an adult. If we are too prissy about everything when our children get into the big wide modern world they will be in for a huge shock. We need to prepare them and explain the outcomes etc. It is good parenting.

😳 That's shocking of your dps. I hope they don't babysit?

My two had sips of alcohol over years. Now as young adults one doesn’t drink at all, the other occasionally and neither of them ever came home drunk as teens. I think it took the novelty away tbh

I'm in 2 minds about this.

I'm older generation. My parents didn't really keep alcohol in the house apart from.a bottle of sherry and a bottle of port, which didn't come out too often.. However at Christmas time and on rare social occasions, myself and my siblings were given glasses of port and lemon or sherry to drink. This was from a very young age - about 6 or 7.
I saw port and lemon as a real treat - it's very sweet of course.
I don't know how much my childhood experience with alcohol contributed towards it but as an adult I have had a very troubled relationship with alchohol - being very shy i found alcohol helped me actually talk to people. And I found drinking a way to escape my problems.

Personally I would think if your child is generally well adjusted and the sips of alcohol are very infrequent then I don't see a problem. But I would be wary if the tastes alcohol become to be seen as a treat or become frequent.

TBF if anybody did let a kid have a drag of a cigarette it would probably make them so sick they would be put off for life

But alcohol IS nice. Otherwise why would we all drink it? I think it's bizarre to try and covince children that we're all sitting around drinking beer and wine even though it's not nice.

My children understand that certain things are for adults. Either because we like it in a way children don't or just because it's more appropriate. I like eating hot food, but we are introducing this to the DC in stages because what I like, isn't always what they like. My children honestly do not understand why I like to go for long meals wth my friends in restaurants that aren't mcdonalds, but that's because they are children and like different things to me.

Hell, I have friends who segregated chocolate... fancy expensive chocolate for adults, cheap normal chocolate for children!

My Grandad brought myself , my sister and cousin to the pub with him every Friday afternoon. He would have two pints of Guiness and we would have coke and crisps. He let us finish the end of his pint. We were aged 8 to 10.

My mother also allowed us to share a can of beer at Christmas if we wanted.

None of us really ever drank alcohol growing up or indeed now. Still happy with a nice glass of coke.

Yes, what a stupid post that was, telling you, the mother, to butt out, I can’t take those type of viewpoints seriously 🙄

What a ridiculous comparison 😂

Drew Barrymore grew up in Hollywood, surrounded by money, fame and seedy behaviour. She was living in an adult world from a very young age. So many child stars go off the rails as it is an extremely unhealthy and dangerous environment to grow up in.

I think that’s the issue. The idea he might see alcohol as cool and an intrinsic part of being a “big lad”.

Rather than something adults might have on occasion but isn’t really very nice.

Never did me any harm, if anything it taught me about healthy relationships with alcohol growing up.

I don’t think it’s a good idea from FIL.

It gives them the idea that beer is nice and a treat and something “for them”.

Best not to have any alcohol til they’re at least 15/16 I think.

When my DS 11 has asked about it I just say “you wouldn’t like it” and so far that’s worked!

My dd is 16 (almost 17) and she might have a glass sometimes - either at a family occasion or if she goes to a party - but luckily she’s not the type to want to drink a lot, and luckily even at parties she’s only interested in drinking wine / Prosecco and not spirits. Just due to personal taste.

No I wouldn’t like it. He could develop a taste for it. (Ex is a recovering alcoholic so I am super sensitive about this type of thing). Back in 70s as kids we would drink non alcoholic shandy, it didn’t make me a drinker but I wouldn’t like the fact someone who is not their parent took it upon themselves to make such a decision, I couldn’t imagine myself giving alcohol to a gc.

My nephews used to go round on the morning after a party and finish up the dregs.. parents thought this was funny!

What do you seriously think is going to happen. He shared a 'big lads' moment with his grandfather - he hardly poured him a double vodka and told him to neck it!
Butt out, and let your husband sort this one. He clearly sees it as the non issue that it is.

I remember being given the lemon from my Mothers dubonnet to suck when I was really tiny and we were allowed to eat the foam off of the jug of beer my Stepfather used to get from the pub. Now my sister has an issue with alcohol to be sure but I do not and almost never drink.

I don’t think I’d be worked up. My parents would let us have a little bit occasionally and none of us (there’s 6) went too wild as teenagers. We all like a drink, but to say my dad is a recovering alcoholic I think it’s pretty good going none of us have a problem with it.

Generally speaking, young children try alcohol, hate it, and aren't then so desperate to jump into drinking it when teenagers. Did you not have tiny tries of your parents' drinks when you were younger? I would say I wouldn't want it to become a treat when going to grandparents, it should be a deterrent.