FIL letting DS have a couple of sips of beer

I’m disappointed but not surprised at the poll given the stronghold alcohol has in our society.

Alcohol has no benefit whatsoever to a young child. Governments recommend fully alcohol free childhood until the child is 18 years old. This isn’t the advice just to be killjoys, but because alcohol is potentally damaging to young and developing brains. Whilst I appreciate this may be unrealistic, indeed my own child did drink alcohol before the age of 18, condoning giving alcohol to an 8 year old is shocking IMO.

I also think the view that allowing it at a young age makes children grow up to have a healthier relationship with alcohol has been discredited.

I used to sit on my dad’s knee and lick the “cream” off his pint. Whilst he had beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and me on his knee. This was in the 70s. One of those activities, the smoking, would now rightly be seen as entirely unacceptable. But the beer is Ok?

And for what it’s worth, I’ve never smoked. I did drink heavily however - not as a child or young teen, but as an adult. Did those sips of froth off the beer at a young age set a pattern for that? Maybe not but we’ll never know if it was that normalisation of alcohol at a young age that led to the absolute shitshow my life became before I got sober 4 years ago.

Why take the chance?

Yeah this wouldn't bother me sorry @GotaQuest I was sipping my nan's sherry at 8-9 y.o. Not often, like, maybe 5-6 times a year, but yeah, and I would have a few sips of my dad's guinness too. Maybe 8-10 times a year. (At the pub when us kids were allowed to go with parents!)

And I have never had a problem with drink, or any damaged internal organs!

meh I'm with your DH, no big deal.

I don’t think it’s harmful TBH

The dad was there though, so I assume gave permission?

I wouldn't like this. There's literally no reason for an 8 year old to imbibe alcohol. Curiosity is one thing but kids are curious for alot of things in the adult world, they have plenty of time to access it with fully formed livers and a mature brain. I know some may say it normalises or takes the glamour out of drinking but that doesnt need to happen at 8 years old.

My parents were only occasional drinkers but on “special occasions” eg Christmas, birthdays or if on holiday, we were allowed sips of their drinks. Dad’s beer for my brothers, Moms port and lemon for me! (although once or twice I tried the beer too). As teenagers and adults, none of us became anything more than social drinks as there was no mystery or feeling grown up about it

This
When DS was about 8 and we were on holiday he asked if he could have a sip of my drink (wine) - I said "you don't like it" but I said "one sip" and he had the one sip, screwed up his face and said "that's horrible"

He has had lager and had a mouthful of beer as a teenager. Ge is nearly 18. When we were away on holiday in the summer DH bought some beers for the apartment - DS had about 3 in the entire 2 weeks.

I’m really surprised that so many people are okay with this. Normalising drinking alcohol at a young age and the fact that it’s not a parent offering is way off to me. I would ask for this to stop and explain that you don’t want your children to drink alcohol, even if offered by another adult. And I’d be really surprised to have to explain that to be honest. You and your DH can then agree how and when you want to introduce alcohol, if at all.

At 8yo it more likely to put them off. I remember my uncle letting me taste the froth on his pint of Guinness when I was about 7 and it put me right off alcohol for years.

Most normal, unremarkable thing in the world. I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t give a sip of beer as a child and baulked in disgust at the taste. When my partner was 11 he went on exchange to France and the family gave him a glass of red wine. When he looked confused, the dad asked ‘oh sorry, would you prefer white?’

A couple of sips of beer wouldn't be a big deal to me, it depends if he has form for over stepping though. I've given my much younger children sips of wine before (obviously they dislike the taste at that age so it's put them off which was my intention 😂), however I have a family member who oversteps often and if they did this I'd be annoyed.
If parent is there and they check with the parent first (or give parent the eye and wait for the eye back to see if it's ok) then I think that's also ok.

Totally depends on the situation. Either way, it's not going to harm your child. Did they like it? Hopefully not!

This post brings back memories !!

My grandad ( who would be about 125yrs if he was still alive) was supposed to be babysitting me while my mum was at work. He would take me to the allotment and I'd help and we would stop at the Royal Legion club on the way back. He would meet his friends and play darts. He would get a half pint glass and put about a 1/4 pint of beer in and tell me to make it last. There was nothing sinister about it, he wanted a pint, a fag, a game of darts before tea!

One day nan asked( at home) what I'd like to drink and i said a small beer and salt and vinegar crisps please l. She nearly had a heart attack! She didn't know about the Royal Legion trip! I was 6.
Its gone down as a family story!
I am 60!!

Personally this was the norm in our family at parties etc, an 8 year old would be curious about what it tastes like and it is a nice moment of sharing, like FIL eating a nice chocolate bar and letting him try some, as long as that is all it is.

I'd be more concerned if FIL always drinks when in their presence, I think that is far more dangerous precedent to set that drinking alcohol is a normal every day thing, and would not be happy letting your DS 'join in' with him, I'd bring it up with him if that was the case, stuff what your DH says.. if it was a one off at a party or barbeque I wouldn't be concerned at all and would let it go.

I wouldn't be bothered. Surely that's about the age all kids have their first little sips of an adults alcoholic drink - just out of curiosity?
I was probably about that age the first time I asked for a sip of my mums wine at Christmas - I did, and hated it!

This is so ridiculous. These risks are from significant amounts of alcohol. A child grabbing a glass of red wine and downing it or whatever. Not from a couple of tiny sips.

Be anti alcohol in any amount for young children, that's fine. But peddling ridiculous over the top risks doesn't actually do your argument any good.

Surprised that you are getting flack OP. Is it a uk thing? I think most people wouldn’t be happy about this, as others have said it is normalising drinking alcohol and your ds is very young. What’s the point?!??

I think just tell your FiL not to do that in future and hopefully he respects your wishes

Surely the problem is this is a PARENTAL decision and a parental decision alone. There are different arguments/viewpoints and neither is necessarily right or wrong or going to lead or not lead to being an alcoholic.

but it should very squarely be in the remit of parents to decide when and what they are comfortable with.

I think my dad gave me a sip of his beer at that age. It was disgusting!

I guess I started getting drunk at 14, long after that so I can't see it being connected.

Popular opinion is that normalising alcohol at a relatively early age removes the "forbidden fruit" temptation and thus leads to more responsible attitudes to drinking in the teen years an beyond. Usually with references to French children drinking watered-down wine etc.

Unfortunately the actual evidence does not support this - in fact the reverse is true. Early introduction to alcohol is linked to higher alcohol use in adolescents. For example:

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0376871620303690

Whilst I don't think it'd harm your DS as a one-off, I would be furious that he would choose to give alcohol to a minor. Did FIL ask for DH's permission first? Need to tell FIL not to give your DS alcohol in future. Set your boundaries. Also tell DS to refuse when offered. Does FIL provide child care? If he does, I'd stop that too. I'd lose all my trust in him. Was DH there when DS was given larger, as in was it given behind DH's back?

As a child I was given tiny amounts of beer and wine regularly. I enjoy both these as an adult and drink socially, but certainly don't have a problematic relationship with alcohol. We didn't do this with our DC, and neither like beer or wine. However, as young adults when out they drink alcopops or spirits with fruit juice mixers, which I find far more concerning as it's difficult to know how much you've had. I sometimes wonder if I'd introduced them to wine and beer earlier whether they would have got a "taste" for it - I don't think there is any evidence it would have made them more or less likely to have a problem with alcohol, but I they might have drunk different alcoholic drinks.

8 feels very young to me, though I'm not sure why. I don't think he's going to become an alcoholic from this but there's lots of 'adult' stuff we don't let kids do. I think I would be OK if he was 12 or older.

For gods sake. How many young boys and girls sit at the restaurant with their dads, grandads etc and ask for a sip of beer? Its usually a case of the child realising how horrible it tastes. Its often, especially for the boys a case of wanting to be one of the boys. Its harmless.

My boys did it. Me and my brothers did it. It had zero effect on what i did and didnt like to drink in future and it was kind of a happy memory sitting in a restaurant laughing and joking.

Its not the beer you need to worry about.....its when they start drinking those alco pops and realise they can get drunk on something that actually tastes ok. Beer is not what i would expect a young child to get hooked on after a couple of sips of foam

exactly the same here, In fact I offered my 17 year old a beer with Sunday dinner yesterday and he didnt want one. Takes away the whole 'not to be had/excitment' aspect out of it