FIL letting DS have a couple of sips of beer

For what reason? If there's no reason for it then I don't see why he should do it. I'd not be happy about this. Presumably he wouldn't give him a few puffs on a cigarette because he's 8. Or a few sips of vodka? Or brandy? The same logic should apply. It's not a "treat", there's absolutely no need for it, so he shouldn't do it.

He likely didn't really like it, won't see the appeal and if you don't make a big hoo haa about it will just not bother about it later. IF GP had left it around and he sipped it different story

We were allowed the occasional sip growing up and by the time my friends were going out getting drunk the mystery wasn’t there for me and I’d rather have a nice drink that I can savour and enjoy and know what I like. The law states children over the age of 5 can drink alcohol under adults supervision. I suspect t the real issues is that you and your partner differ on opinion and you feel yours doesn’t count. Needs a chat about what your boundaries are and to be respected.

I think this is fine. I think it’s white a
nostalgic thing to do and a binding thing. This is as long as your household isn’t a very drinking household and he knows this is a grandad thing. I’ve seen a family who drink everyday, functional alcoholics I’d say. They are now proudly photographing their 14 and 16 year olds drinking very regularly. Now they don’t appear to be drunk but they have certainly rationlised drinking for them. My kids are the same age and they wouldn’t go near the stuff.

Or you could just ask him not to do it? Rather than going into the relationship like a wrecking ball…

As a grandparent, i’d never do that (i’m not one, but I mean when I am). My DC didn’t even taste alcohol until 16 plus, but some people grew up having sips of alcohol. I did too, but I wouldn’t say i’ve never had a problem with alcohol as I did in my 20’s and 30’s. Not saying because i was drinking snowball age 7, but probably more the underage drinking culture I grew up in. So I didn’t want my kids doing the same so i’d say it’s inappropriate.

Beer tastes absolutely foul to young taste buds.
If anything your FIL is putting the kid off beer.

Alcohol has no benefit whatsoever to a young child.

Neither does chocolate, fizzy drinks and sweets.. yet those things are often given daily/weekly and will be far more damaging to young children then two sips of lager a couple of times a year.

They aren't pouring him a pint and encouraging him to drink, presumably he's asking (with his dad present) and being allowed a couple of sips.

I think it's far more damaging for children to be around adults that normalise drinking every day/every weekend etc, so it would depend on how much FIL actually drinks in front of DS as to whether I'd be annoyed by it, but letting a child try a sip of something as a one off at a party or gathering is not something I could ever get worked up over.

All the research points to a permissive attitude to underage drinking leading to more binge drinking as a teen / young adult.

And before anyone starts mentioning France, the UK is a completely different environment with a totally different attitude towards alcohol and binge drinking.

We all have our stories around attitudes but I know for me, my parents were permissive and sometimes blind drunk. I was quite close to becoming a problem drinker in my teens until I copped myself on

i used to have a babycham or snowball at xmas i dont drink now well maybe one on my birthday

It's pretty riskless but also zero benefit. Quite brainless really. Chances are it was offered purely for the 'waheeeey' moment.

Young kids usually hate the taste of alcohol

wouldnt bother me. But my DH would have gone daft.

we all have different views on this.

Zero issues from my perspective. Really not worth getting worked up about.

Well the age restriction is 5 years old, so according to the law there’s no issue. It’s only 18 in public venues etc.

It’s a good idea , it takes the mystery and glamour out of it which forbidden fruit always has .

Legally over 5, DS is allowed beer in the home. And personally I think couple of sips, especially when young kids dont really like beer flavour, is good exposure. Makes it less exciting at 15, 16 and 17

So I wouldnt care

However youre his parent and if you dont want him sipping beer I think youre totally reasonable to say to DH please ask ILs to never do that again. And if thats what you've both agreed and told ILs they should adhere to that

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

I wouldn’t be happy with that at 8 either. There’s just no need. No one has got a crystal ball to see into the future about whether they turn out as beer monsters or tee total.

The UK has got a fucked up attitude to alcohol. It’s normalised way beyond what is healthy… it’s a known fact that alcohol can cause all manner of health issues.

So no, I wouldn’t want alcohol being normalised or glamourised around my 8 year old.

At age 8 I loved a babycham!

There’s a difference though - the cigarette would be illegal, whereas anyone over the age of 5 can drink alcohol in private! So you can’t say it’s like giving him a cigarette to drag on because it isn’t comparable.

Wouldn't bother me

I didn't vote as although I would be annoyed I don't really believe any harm is done. My brother had lots of sips of beer as a toddler and has turned out pretty well!

I remember having a sip of beer several times in my early childhood, the one thing that sticks in my mind is that it tasted horrible and never got any better so it certainly didn't encourage me to drink!

I remember the first time I got drunk.
Christmas carol concert and the choir (of which I was a member) were invited back to the vicarage (huge, rambling stone place straight out of an Agatha Christie novel). Wine was served and being kids (fourteen I think) some of us snaffled a bottle (or two) and proceeded to get v.drunk (and afterwards, v.sick).
Needless to say I had nothing to do with alcohol for a few years after that!

Meh, I was trying sips of my mum’s wine at a similar age - it’s fine.

My father was in the licensing trade when I was child and I was pretty much weaned on Guiness!! I've survived and so will he. Chill out OP, it was a couple of sips of beer.