FIL letting DS have a couple of sips of beer

My late dad was an alcoholic. Imo anything you do that takes away the perceived glamour and excitement of alcohol and drinking to get drunk can only be a good thing. Early introduction to watered down wine and/or beer is ok in a controlled environment and hopefully teaches your child that alcohol really isn't anything that special. If you constantly demonise it alcohol will become this big must have thing and they will do anything to get hold of it behind your back as a teen. I've always allowed mine to have small tasters of wine from around age 12 and now they've both said they don't like alcohol and don't want to drink it.

But normalising alcohol is the best way to prevent young adults going off the rails with alcohol later on. Sips at granddad's, a small glass from age 10 with Sunday lunch or a glass of bubbles at Christmas. This is how most middle class families do it in the UK and all over Europe. If you make it into a BIG THING then it becomes a big thing...

Erm, you’ve just pointed out the difference. And it’s a big one.

Alcopops tasted of pop but contained 4% alcohol.

Cocktails (in a can or otherwise) taste of alcoholic drinks and contain 15% and above alcohol.

Completely different drinks and valid to point out that the kids these days don’t bother with alcopops but are straight into the strong stuff instead.

Alcopops are not “experiencing a resurgence” and Buzzballs are not part of this imaginary resurgence since the main characteristic of alcopops is they are low alcohol fruity drinks

And the difference is…..

anyway yes alcopops are experiencing a resurgence and buzzballs are considered to be a huge part of them! They are stronger though which is the issue!

I posted three links but it looks like they've gone.

That’s a cocktail in a can not an alco pop

I'd lax about this but if I asked him to stop, which I would, and he didn't, that would be different. Ask him not to do that again. I get giving a kid a sip but someone else's kid? I'd never.

It wouldn't bother me as I think it tends to lead to having a healthy attitude towards alcohol, rather than as a guilty treat.

I had this as a child and now hardly ever drink, even on holiday.

I remember as a young child having a sip/taste of various aunts/uncles/grandparents alcoholic drinks - usually beer, sherry, wine or whiskey. All vile to a young palate and enough to put me off it at that age and for many years to come!

Personally not something I would get upset about, but I'd be less keen if they were letting them taste alcopops or something more palatable.

As long as you and your dh are the role models they look to, a very occasional sip of beer is not going to be a problem.

But if you have a problem with it first thing you need to do is speak to your dh about your concerns, you need to listen to his point of view, and the pair of you calmly come up with an compromise that is acceptable and you will both follow through on.

Buzzballs haven’t entered your world then !!!

Alcopops 🤣 they don’t bother with them anymore, it’s not 1998

I grew up being allowed to try different alcoholic drinks and we used to be given something like Pimm’s with lots of lemonade in summer. I grew up not being bothered about alcohol at all and rarely drink now.
However, I think that’s the parent’s decision to make and not the grandparents.

Grew up having sips of beer in the beer garden with my parents and a tiny glass of wine or sherry with Christmas dinner and I can't stand getting drunk.

If OP was living in Europe it would be normal! It’s demonising alcohol that causes problems! My son often had a sip on my wine and guess what he’s not turned into a rampaging alcoholic.

You could see it as taking the 'no big deal' out of drinking. Might stop his going overboard in his teens.

I’d be annoyed by this, more on principle than anything. I wouldn’t necessarily worry my child would be harmed by the beer, I’d more just be irritated that FIL felt this was acceptable without mentioning it to me or my partner…just the idea that he thinks he is okay to do this would irritate the life out of me.

My brother as a kid was a pain in the butt for my parents with the asking to try their wine. I guess he thought it tasted better than it did. My gran gave him a couple of sips and he spat it out, and hasn´t drunk any wine until he was way over 25. He said the remembered as disgusting stuff.
My daughter is the same. Gave her two sips of my beer and has never asked again, her face of disgust was a picture.
Job done.

My two siblings and I were all given the same access to alcohol when we were younger. The odd sip here and there, offered a glass of wine with Sunday dinner from about 12 years old. We all had very different attitudes to drinking when we were teenagers and now that we are adults. My brother drinks heavily, and did as a teenager. My sister goes through phases of drinking a lot and not drinking at all. I haven’t had a drink in 16 years, and wasn’t really a teenage drinker either. Amongst my friends when we were teenagers, I had some who’s parents were strict with it and they never drank underage and some who were given free range and were always drunk on nights out.

There has been research on this and it’s clear. Introducing children to alcohol is not a good idea. https://www.ias.org.uk/2025/04/08/despite-what-many-parents-think-allowing-teenagers-to-try-alcohol-at-any-age-is-harmful/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2212613/#:~:text=Young%20children's%20sipping%2Ftasting%20of,to%20engage%20in%20problem%20behavior.

(found all on my own without need of AI. 😇)

No. I remember being curious about what beer tasted like when I was young. I think I imagined something like Coca Cola! I was horribly disappointed when I was allowed to try it!

French children drink watered-down wine from an early age. I think as long as it was just a one-off thing it's fine. The main thing is that he sees adults drinking responsibly.

At 9 my friend's adult sister told me to take a big gulp of white wine. 'You'll love it'. I am now 60 and have hated wine ever since - even Champagne makes me gag.

I think it's a trust issue now between you and FIL.

And maybe that’s as bad as giving alcohol. Times change and things move on. My dad used to smoke like a chimney round us in the 70s and no one batted an eyelid. It would not be acceptable now

And iPads from tiny, on which they clock up hours and hours of screentime every week.

Amazing how many parents were ultra-cautious in pregnancy and wouldn’t touch a sip of wine, yet think nothing of giving beer to an 8-year-old. Kids’ brains and livers are still developing, and every major health body advises an alcohol free childhood. If it wasn’t worth the risk before birth, it makes even less sense once they’re growing children.

I get told off for making one glass last all day! Everyone else has three in the time it takes me to drink one!