My highest was 202lb/92kg. I was always a “chubby” child. Low income, single mum who tried her best to support us. She worked many jobs to pay the bills, often wasn’t around at tea time. We’d make simple things to eat - chips and bread, super noodles etc. I did Weight Watchers at age 20, when I weighed just short of 12 stone. I got down to 8st 7lb, mostly through hunger and undereating. This further encouraged my unhealthy relationship with food.
Once I moved out into my own house, I tried to find my way with healthy eating, but did gain some weight. Still within a healthy BMI, and I trained a lot. I look back at the “before” photos I took now, where I thought I was fat, and realise I just needed to tone up. I was fine.
I then went on to have two children, and between each child, I didn’t lose the pregnancy weight, so carried the weight of two pregnancies. I did stints of SW and WW many times, and again developed even more unhealthy habits with food - worried about “syns” in foods with healthy fats whilst eating unlimited yogurts filled with sweeteners.
In the past couple of years, I’ve taken an interest in what’s actually in my food. I focus on high protein, and understand that monitoring calories is much better than the programmes that I had been trying to do. Admittedly, I haven’t done well, because I struggle with the mentality picked up in childhood that food shouldn’t be wasted, and I’ll pick at my kids’ plates, or skip ordering a meal for myself and having the rest of their pizza for example. I’ve always struggled with hunger. I’ve been obsessed with food, as soon as I finish my breakfast, I’m wondering what to make for dinner.
I started MJ a few months ago. From January to June, I did calorie counting alone (but fell victim to hunger, or eating the kids’ leftovers) and lost only 8lb. Since being on MJ, I’ve lost a further 22lb. I am hoping that during that time on it, it gives me the headspace to rebalance my relationship with food, and also the time to develop and maintain healthier habits so that as I transition off it, I can maintain those changes, and break the cycle I’ve been in since childhood.