What is the "mental load"

It is but the “hoo ha” is when women in relationships end up doing it all even though they have a partner. What’s the point in being part of a team if you don’t share the work? If I was having to do it all myself anyway I’d rather be single.

Yes, it is just being a functional adult, and being a functional adult is often hard work! The problem is that functional adults are often married to non-functional (at home) adults, and the imbalance is very unfair and mostly weighted towards one sex.

Sometimes things just get too much in family and thats mental load, I think most people can be overwhelmed with family and work boring house hold stuff.

It just means all the shit that has to be remembered and sorted out.

If you are single then it all falls to you. It is what it is. It needs to be done and there's only 1 person to do it.

If youre in a relationship and it all falls to you - that's a problem. Everything should not fall to one person when they are in a relationship.

I think it’s a load of bollocks. Just normal planning and admin everyone did when they weee single but somehow becomes a very. Big. Deal. Once you are in a couple. Wingerthon fodder for the pampered.

Yes. Although some people have a lot more things to "remember" than others.

I have a disabled child so as well as managing everything that goes with looking after a child I'm also dealing with

• her medication (daily injection, have to request a repeat every 5 weeks. Medication from GP / needles and sharps bin from different places)
• her medical appointments (albeit not as many now she is older - approx 2 per month - but there are 2 overnight admissions per year as well - for which I need to find childcare for my other 2 DC)
• her academic appointments. She sees a SEN tutor so I have to facilitate this x4 hours per week (x2 two hour sessions).
• ad hoc school meetings. Given how shit they are this is probably once a week. Including emails / requests and suggestions to aid the work she does with her tutor
• her paperwork. DLA and EHCP the acronyms that strike fear in the hearts of every parent of a disabled child.
• all the other shit that comes with being someone's advocate. It's amazing what our disabled children have to fight to receive.

On top of this I work and have two other children (so all the usual life admin that comes with NT children as well) DC2 is going through the secondary school process so we have a month of open mornings I'm having to coordinate and paperwork I'm having to complete (supplementary forms etc). Plus they have x3 banding tests that fall on a weekend.

I have a health condition myself so I'm at the hospital for bloody tests every 3 months and have appointments every 4 months.

Hobbies for DC include football (club x2 dc and matches x1 dc), swimming lessons x3 dc and swimming club x1 dc child, ballet x1 dc x2 lessons per week. Older DC has a school run club every day so although I don't actually have to take him, I still have pay and register etc.

Then there is all the shit from school - Sports day / Fairs / fundraisers / meet the teachers (for the new school year) / children's learning assemblies (throughout the year) / music concerts / cake sales etc.

Life admin is most definitely a thing. And having a disabled child is my tipping point. I have a lot more to do for my wee DC3.

And yes I'm a single parent!!

Well sometimes in a partnership one person leaves the other to carry the vast majority of the joint mental load (family stuff that is not solely for yourself); merrily enjoying free time themselves but enjoying benefit from their partners labours. This is very aggravating.

I understand that as a single parent, you might not have someone to help carry the mental load, but I’m sure you can understand how annoying it would be if you did have someone, and they just shirked it.