To think most men are filthy losers

Yes, but it seems to do fuck all.

My ex MIL was affected deeply when I told her what her son was like. She was a lecturer in women’s studies. She thought she had raised her son to be respectful. She challenged every time he was disrespectful growing up.

She asked me the truth about why I was leaving
him. She was in a bad way for a long time when I showed her the proof that he’d been wanking over webcams, sleeping with prostitutes for years and was financially abusive to me.

To her, and the rest of the world, he presented as a great man. He even used to give talks at his company about women’s rights in the workplace and was held in high esteem for it. All while booking prostitutes for when the conferences had finished.

Do any of you have sons? How do you feel about raising the next generation of "filthy losers", given that "most" men are disgusting creatures?

Yes, but it seems to do fuck all.

My ex MIL was affected deeply when I told her what her son was like. She was a lecturer in women’s studies. She thought she had raised her son to be respectful. She challenged every time he was disrespectful growing up.

She asked me the truth about why I was leaving
him. She was in a bad way for a long time when I showed her the proof that he’d been wanking over webcams, sleeping with prostitutes for years and was financially abusive to me.

To her, and the rest of the world, he presented as a great man. He even used to give talks at his company about women’s rights in the workplace and was held in high esteem for it. All while booking prostitutes for when the conferences had finished.

The level of vitriol towards men is off the scale!

I’ve never encountered any men like the op and those agreeing with her have.

Why are you still with him?

Just look at all the stories on here about women going through shit. It's heartbreaking. One PP has said my thread is adding to the problem of harm being done to women. I'd like to think the opposite. I'd like to think that some PPs have had the opportunity to air their grievances and a chance to think about the situations they're in and hopefully seek some advice and support to get out of them.

To answer a few points -or maybe not, because I don't think some people read all my posts. The reason I looked up my ex wasn't to watch him wanking. I am building a case against him with my lawyer because he has been stalking me for years. I pressed charges, but the police were unable to find him! He skipped the country. He is now back in the country, and I am taking him to court. It would be outing if I wrote what he has done recently, but it is BAD. We're talking terrifying stuff and I can't believe I'm going through it.

For those who are victim-blaming. Shame on you. You're either blaming me for the type of men I go for and missing red flags, blaming me for "stalking my ex" online when I've given my reasons, or blaming me for being too polite when these men make their crude comments. It's disgusting. Yes, I wish I were more strident and assertive in my interactions, but many of them occur at work, some involve the husbands of friends, and others involve my neighbour... It's hard to have to go around defending yourself all the time. And I shouldn't be blamed for it. It's the man who makes the lewd comment who should be blamed. Not me, because I find it awkward to come up with a response, and I just want him to go away.

Men's jobs? We're all supposed to be grateful and let them get away with whatever the hell they want because they're the ones fixing the drains, building the houses, and working on the oil rigs? Is that right? Because they're physically more capable than us they get the green light to do what they want? Why are those jobs considered more important than the jobs that women traditionally take? Arse wiping, nursing, teaching, cleaning, social work? Is roofing more important than working in an old people's home? Yes, there are some jobs that not many women do. And there are some jobs that not many men do. So what? All these jobs are vital to a functioning society, and one shouldn't be held up as more important than another.

Saying you don't know any men like I describe is a pointless argument. I don't know any fentanyl users, but I know they exist. I don't know anyone who has sex with dogs, but I know it's online.

People's behaviour when it comes to the sex industry is a problem. And it's mostly men. It is up to both sexes to try and do something about it.

My having been abused by an ex in an absolutely terrifying way is not my fault. And shame on any PPs who have suggested it is.

Reporting a thread where people are expressing their genuine concerns about men? Ridiculous. You're ridiculous.

Here's some stuff that has happened just this week...

A friend's husband regularly sends memes to me about "pussies". This is because I like cats. He's made sure his wife knows about it. So, it's just "banter". I don't want to fall out with my friend.

Another friend, who is in a covers band, told me that they were going to sing "Black Velvet" but turned it into "Black Helmet" and said he bets that's what I'd like.

My neighbour told me he heard me masturbating through the window because I'm a screamer. He didn't.

A guy I supervise at work told me off about leaving the coffee machine plugged in overnight, saying it could cause a fire, and that this is why women shouldn't be in charge.

That is literally just last week. Which of these are my fault? Yes, I'm not very good at putting them straight and causing a scene. That much is true. I can agree with that. But these aren't men I'm trying to date. These aren't men I've encouraged in any way. These are men who use my politeness against me.

I'm the one who needs counselling and HRT? Yeah, sure. It's me. I'm the problem. I need to calm down and get my libido back and just join in with all the fucking fun, right?

A really vile one, yes. Obviously, there are some good men. I'm saying most of them are filthy. Not all. Most. I really do believe it's most of them.

I hope you smack it right down every time you hear it. Not just with him but with all of them, directly.

You only need to google the percentages of men using prostitutes, or wanking off to women being abused (aka porn), and the number of murders, and percentage of women abused, to know that a majority of men are utterly vile, though many hide it well. If you are lucky enough to find a good one (took me 50 years!) then rejoice and encourage them to do their best to help other men realise their behaviour is unacceptable.

I think the reason older women are reviled is because it’s the age many of us find our voices and speak out against these male behaviours.

I spent much of my youth wanting to be ‘that girl’, thinking I was being a feminist, wanting to be kind, etc. The internet has played a part in lifting the scales from my eyes- thank you Mumsnet.

Just look at all the stories on here about women going through shit. It's heartbreaking. One PP has said my thread is adding to the problem of harm being done to women. I'd like to think the opposite. I'd like to think that some PPs have had the opportunity to air their grievances and a chance to think about the situations they're in and hopefully seek some advice and support to get out of them.

To answer a few points -or maybe not, because I don't think some people read all my posts. The reason I looked up my ex wasn't to watch him wanking. I am building a case against him with my lawyer because he has been stalking me for years. I pressed charges, but the police were unable to find him! He skipped the country. He is now back in the country, and I am taking him to court. It would be outing if I wrote what he has done recently, but it is BAD. We're talking terrifying stuff and I can't believe I'm going through it.

For those who are victim-blaming. Shame on you. You're either blaming me for the type of men I go for and missing red flags, blaming me for "stalking my ex" online when I've given my reasons, or blaming me for being too polite when these men make their crude comments. It's disgusting. Yes, I wish I were more strident and assertive in my interactions, but many of them occur at work, some involve the husbands of friends, and others involve my neighbour... It's hard to have to go around defending yourself all the time. And I shouldn't be blamed for it. It's the man who makes the lewd comment who should be blamed. Not me, because I find it awkward to come up with a response, and I just want him to go away.

Men's jobs? We're all supposed to be grateful and let them get away with whatever the hell they want because they're the ones fixing the drains, building the houses, and working on the oil rigs? Is that right? Because they're physically more capable than us they get the green light to do what they want? Why are those jobs considered more important than the jobs that women traditionally take? Arse wiping, nursing, teaching, cleaning, social work? Is roofing more important than working in an old people's home? Yes, there are some jobs that not many women do. And there are some jobs that not many men do. So what? All these jobs are vital to a functioning society, and one shouldn't be held up as more important than another.

Saying you don't know any men like I describe is a pointless argument. I don't know any fentanyl users, but I know they exist. I don't know anyone who has sex with dogs, but I know it's online.

People's behaviour when it comes to the sex industry is a problem. And it's mostly men. It is up to both sexes to try and do something about it.

My having been abused by an ex in an absolutely terrifying way is not my fault. And shame on any PPs who have suggested it is.

Reporting a thread where people are expressing their genuine concerns about men? Ridiculous. You're ridiculous.

Here's some stuff that has happened just this week...

A friend's husband regularly sends memes to me about "pussies". This is because I like cats. He's made sure his wife knows about it. So, it's just "banter". I don't want to fall out with my friend.

Another friend, who is in a covers band, told me that they were going to sing "Black Velvet" but turned it into "Black Helmet" and said he bets that's what I'd like.

My neighbour told me he heard me masturbating through the window because I'm a screamer. He didn't.

A guy I supervise at work told me off about leaving the coffee machine plugged in overnight, saying it could cause a fire, and that this is why women shouldn't be in charge.

That is literally just last week. Which of these are my fault? Yes, I'm not very good at putting them straight and causing a scene. That much is true. I can agree with that. But these aren't men I'm trying to date. These aren't men I've encouraged in any way. These are men who use my politeness against me.

I'm the one who needs counselling and HRT? Yeah, sure. It's me. I'm the problem. I need to calm down and get my libido back and just join in with all the fucking fun, right?

I hear you. My phone is currently blowing up with a 45-year-old who poses as a 40-year-old on Tinder. He will occasionally pop up on WhatsApp and suggest we have sex. I humour him, but it will never happen. Another much older male friend will drop in comments about his previous dirty weekends with various partners - as if I'm meant to probe for further details.

Block the first one and end the friendship with the other one. Actually I can’t understand why you haven’t done this already.

I wonder if it would have been the first question if your psychiatrist was female?

It breaks my heart. My eldest is 23. You can only do so much. I’ve over heard him and his friends talking and it’s mostly vile.

To me, his sisters, his family, he’s wonderful. But yeah, as my previous post, it’s not always on show.

But incels want sex and partnership.

That person desires the opposite.

Do any of you have sons? How do you feel about raising the next generation of "filthy losers", given that "most" men are disgusting creatures?