Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think most men are filthy losers

818 replies

fightbackorriseabove · 07/09/2025 18:05

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

OP posts:
TheGodsOfTheCopybookHeadings · 08/09/2025 12:43

I also think there would be uproar if women and girls perpetrated the same levels of violence including sexual violence against men as men do against women and girls. Can you fucking imagine that?

Yes, and rightly so, of course. The fact that there isn't is strongly indicative of how vanishingly rare it is for women to display such behaviours. It simply doesn't happen.

Mind you I'm not sure whether that will be the case for much longer. As I said, we're into a dark age for humanity and I think it will only get much, much worse.

Katheclepto · 08/09/2025 12:43

SOME men not most men!
I know a few men (partners of friends who have had affairs) but I also know a couple of women who have. I also know three women aged 38-60 who just want sex from men and nothing else. They use tinder and only fans etc. If men want to take them on dates or form relationships, they’re rude to them!

My husband is lovely and caring and thoughtful as are many of my friends husbands and men in my family.

It’s not just men remember… it’s people!! Some are bloody weird! Let’s look at the likes of Bonnie Blue and Lily Phillips. Sex obsessed. Taking advantage of 18 year old virgins whose brains can’t necessarily quite grasp the concept of the consequences down the line of filmed loveless sex with a random woman who shags anyone and anything who also can’t prove the STI status of all those she sleeps with!

fightbackorriseabove · 08/09/2025 12:42

LovelyLuluu · 08/09/2025 12:37

Forgive my being blunt, but this is ridiculous! Have neither of you read the rest of the posts? If the OP is so wrong, why does almost every contributor to the thread agree with her?

Read it yes. Agree with her no- and neither do many other posters.
Have you indeed read all their posts?
Some actually say her whole thread ought to be deleted because it's so extreme and anti-men.

However, if you think that it's normal behaviour for a male neighbour to tell you he heard you masturbating or another keep referring to 'pussies' in messages to you, [that you don't block] you must live in a strange world.

What do you want me to say? I'm pointing it out as being something that, indeed, shouldn't be normal behaviour. But these are real, genuine things that have happened to me. And this thread has a lot of posters describing similar and worse things?

I don't hate all men. I'm a heterosexual woman. I enjoy male company. I have a wonderful brother-in-law, male friends, and nephews. You're missing the point of my thread.

Women should be able to discuss their experiences without being called man-haters or being blamed for them.

All I'm doing is bringing up some concerns and asking other people if they agree or not. If you don't that's fine. That's the whole point, isn't it? We get to talk about these matters on an anonymous forum.

OP posts:
MadinMarch · 08/09/2025 12:42

Muffinmam · 07/09/2025 21:14

”How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.”

Yes, pretty much every time I have sex it’s so I can have a brief reprieve until his sulking starts again.

I used to be so in love with him but he has been abusive and manipulative so now I just fake that I’m content.

For years I wanted the security and the companionship of being in a relationship. Now I’m here I can understand why women prefer being single. All of the years I spent worrying about being rejected and not wanted by men was such an utter waste of my time.

It makes sense that women are the ones that most often instigate divorce. The thought of dealing with the mood swings, the silent treatment, the rages, the drama, the annoying interruptions and demands for attention just absolutely exhaust me!! Then there are his revolving attention seeking farts and his mind games!!

I’m sick of being prodded, grabbed and touched. I now go and sit on the stairs just to get away from him. If I go upstairs to the bedroom he demands I come back downstairs - so sitting on the stairs is a happy medium for me.

I’m in perimenopause right now - but I think I would feel this way regardless. I just want quiet. I want to be left alone.

@Muffinmam
Your post is really shocking. He sounds abusive and controlling and it sounds like an awful situation to be in.
I really hope you have the strength and wherewithal to make plans to separate from him. No one should experience living like this.
Wishing you better circumstances very soon.

WFHforevermore · 08/09/2025 12:40

There are some truly deranged and unstable women on this site.

LovelyLuluu · 08/09/2025 12:37

Forgive my being blunt, but this is ridiculous! Have neither of you read the rest of the posts? If the OP is so wrong, why does almost every contributor to the thread agree with her?

Read it yes. Agree with her no- and neither do many other posters.
Have you indeed read all their posts?
Some actually say her whole thread ought to be deleted because it's so extreme and anti-men.

However, if you think that it's normal behaviour for a male neighbour to tell you he heard you masturbating or another keep referring to 'pussies' in messages to you, [that you don't block] you must live in a strange world.

TheGodsOfTheCopybookHeadings · 08/09/2025 12:36

BigFatLiar · 08/09/2025 12:07

Actually, married nearly 40 years and yes indeed my husband is one of the good ones.

Then you should thank your lucky stars. Not imply that women simply enjoying sex and talking about it and/ or their relationship experiences are disgusting or in any way equivalent to the sorts of horrific behaviours men indulge in.

Disgusting comment.

TheSquashyHatofMrGnosspelius · 08/09/2025 12:35

Unpaidviewer · 08/09/2025 12:09

Or you could just speak for yourself and say "I am just turned off and disgusted by their sexual behaviour." Because i dont agree with your generalisation.

It's a given that individual posts on here are the opinion of the individual poster.

Welcome to forums on the internet.

TheJoyOfWriting · 08/09/2025 12:33

TrishM80 · 08/09/2025 06:46

"No men allowed" apart from tradesmen any time something needed to be built or fixed. Lasted for a few years until she sold it to some bloke.

Why don't you try resurrect it, since you hate men so much?! 😂

I don't hate men. I'm not the OP.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 08/09/2025 12:31

estrogone · 08/09/2025 12:28

Imagine if the tables were turned and a man posted something similar about women. There would be an uproar.

Imagine??? Imagine??? 🤣 Who needs to imagine. I see endless online abuse from men towards women. Have you somehow missed this? Also, to be clear, I don’t think this thread is abusive towards men. It’s a sad account of reality for many women.

I also think there would be uproar if women and girls perpetrated the same levels of violence including sexual violence against men as men do against women and girls. Can you fucking imagine that?

Edited to clarify my position on this thread.

ThatWasJustANoise · 08/09/2025 12:30

If I think about the men I work with, I would say one is a creep and says inappropriate things which I just tell him to stop being a twat. My boss is a nice guy but can be misogynistic and old fashioned.

The rest I don't find offensive, awful or filthy. I get on really well with them. The youngest I did lecture him about why there should be women only spaces.

I've had an abusive ex when I was younger but I've ended up marrying my best friend. He is lovely.

My DH does have a high sex drive and has hinted in the past if he didn't think we were having sex much. He's never pressured me though and I still find him attractive. And enjoy it.

Maybe, I just got lucky.

TheGodsOfTheCopybookHeadings · 08/09/2025 12:30

estrogone · 08/09/2025 12:28

Imagine if the tables were turned and a man posted something similar about women. There would be an uproar.

There's no equivalence so no, that doesn't hold any validity. Shut your eyes and shout lala but it doesn't change the reality that many men behave horrifically.

TheStrawHasBeenObliterated · 08/09/2025 12:28

They are charming creatures, arent they. I once said as one, a brick shithouse on a bike shot past me with barely a piece of paper between us, to mind his distance.

His response: "Suck my dick".

NAMALT. But huge percentage terms: pretty much always a MAN.

Speak up against them and draw their ire like a thermo-nuclear bomb.

estrogone · 08/09/2025 12:28

Imagine if the tables were turned and a man posted something similar about women. There would be an uproar.

Caz101x · 08/09/2025 12:25

I haven't been able to read the whole thread but would say that from what I've observed over my lifetime that most men disgust me, sadly. I know my partner watches porn and most probably has done throughout our relationship even though he knows I disagree with it. He also told me about a mate of his who slept with another woman the night before his wedding..!! Men are so entitled it's mind boggling.

ToutesetBonne · 08/09/2025 12:23

LovelyLuluu · 08/09/2025 08:33

OP, I think you need to look at why you are hanging out or attracting these men? I have many male friends and none of them behave like this. Maybe it’s your choice in friends/partners that is the problem?

^^This

You are the common denominator in all of this.

Maybe you're unable to filter men early on or you ignore red flags.

I've never known any men like this and none of my female friends are with men like this (and yes, I'd know.)

Forgive my being blunt, but this is ridiculous! Have neither of you read the rest of the posts? If the OP is so wrong, why does almost every contributor to the thread agree with her?

TheGodsOfTheCopybookHeadings · 08/09/2025 12:23

Unfortunately sometimes it's necessary to discuss how vile some men are. It does no good at all to try to gloss over it. And as I've said, all the men I know are decent, good, strong men. That doesn't change the fact that many men aren't. If it hurts you so much to think about it then maybe you ought to go elsewhere instead of trying to shut down discussion of the reality that many women experience.

In fact why don't you read back and report the specific comments instead.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 08/09/2025 12:22

estrogone · 08/09/2025 12:18

I have reported this thread. Some of the hateful statements about men are disgusting. I am a woman, wife and mother of two beautiful sons and a daughter. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for wearing your bigotry without an ounce of shame.

All of us or some of us?

I saw a huge numbers of accounts of abusive behaviour from men against women. Did you see that as well? Should the beautiful men be at all ashamed?

estrogone · 08/09/2025 12:18

I have reported this thread. Some of the hateful statements about men are disgusting. I am a woman, wife and mother of two beautiful sons and a daughter. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for wearing your bigotry without an ounce of shame.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 08/09/2025 12:14

florizel13 · 08/09/2025 12:10

It's deeply insulting to all those of us with sons, who we're raising to be decent men. And also to the genuine male posters on here. I'm someone who will always call out misogyny when I see it on social media and I agree there are horrendous incel types there, but posts like this make me almost see why some men hate women so much.

Maybe all these decent amazing men 👀 (who as you suggest, so reasonably hate women so much) could engage with the conversation meaningfully?

florizel13 · 08/09/2025 12:10

missmollygreen · 07/09/2025 18:55

A man bashing thread on mumsnet, how original

It's deeply insulting to all those of us with sons, who we're raising to be decent men. And also to the genuine male posters on here. I'm someone who will always call out misogyny when I see it on social media and I agree there are horrendous incel types there, but posts like this make me almost see why some men hate women so much.

Unpaidviewer · 08/09/2025 12:09

EuclidianGeometryFan · 08/09/2025 12:03

It is utterly tedious to have to type out phrases to explicitly say "not all men", "this is a generalisation", etc. It interrupts the flow of thoughts when writing.

Perhaps you could just take it as read that all statements are generalisations unless the author specifically state otherwise?

Or you could just speak for yourself and say "I am just turned off and disgusted by their sexual behaviour." Because i dont agree with your generalisation.

AlertLimeZebra · 08/09/2025 12:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BigFatLiar · 08/09/2025 12:07

ISpyNoPlumPie · 08/09/2025 11:53

Haha, very good.

Lots of women getting drunk, hey? Talking about relationships? You’re right women are disgusting too. And your examples are exactly the same as the violence - including sexual violence that many women and girls experience at the hands of men. Exactly the same.

A bet you’re one of the good ones yeah? A quality man. But women just don’t fancy you 😢, it’s awful really.

Actually, married nearly 40 years and yes indeed my husband is one of the good ones.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 08/09/2025 12:07

ThatDaringEagle · 08/09/2025 11:23

Jeez, I've just read the first & last pages of this sad, demeaning thread.

It's a disgrace. Bitter misandrists and clearly angry women giving massively biased, vitriolic, opinions on men in general cos of the alleged behaviour of a small minority of men. There's a difference between some men & a majority of men which most you including the OP, glaze over with your bitter, generalist, insulting vitriol wrt men.

This thread is a total disgrace imho.

Yes, there are certainly bitter, nasty, sexist people going on line and 'getting off' on their shared sexist hatred together. And most of them can be seen clearly posting their misandrist hate filled posts in this very thread!!

Have a nice day ladies!! 😊

Edited

Golden rule: don't comment unless you have read the full thread.