Page 8 | For not paying half when I'm leaving.

Cuppatealover · 2025-09-07T12:05:18+00:00

Very emotional and awful time right now. I'll try to keep it as short as possible. Been through a hell of a year. Decided to move in with partner in January. A week after signing for the rented house we found out I was pregnant. All good. Moved in end of March and partner had paid to get whole house blinds fitted, new floors through the house and appliances for kitchen. We agreed I would pay him back my half for these. Fast forward and relationship has just gradually got worse and broken down. I had a termination of pregnancy in May due to various reasons which I know he resents me for as he wanted the baby. Had a row the other week as I told him I do not want to be in this relationship anymore and how do we go about the split re house and associated costs. He still expects half for the blinds, flooring and appliances (I haven't paid anything yet) but intends to stay in the house and won't move. Has said if I'm unhappy then I should move. Which I agree with. But I've said I'm not paying half for things he is keeping of he is staying in the house. I can't take half a fridge freezer or blinds! I have now found a house and told him after looking for months. Got two cats so it's incredibly difficult to find a rental. Now I've told him it's erupted into a huge row about how I'm trying to worm my way out of paying him back and putting him in financial hardship because he wouldn't have paid for those things if he knew I wasn't going to pay half.

2catsandhappy · 07/09/2025 18:04

I've no idea why you are getting such a bashing here @Cuppatealover

I suggest you add up the cost of the goods. You agreed(under very different circumstances) to pay 50%
Now IMAGINE that 'your 50%' expected(and agreed) contribution was put on a zero % credit card. Payments spread over, say, 3 years or 2 years. IMAGINE.
Stick with me.
Work out what your 'use' or 'rental' for 8 months would be. 8 times the IMAGINED monthly payment.
Pay him that.
To be a pedant on my imagined formula, pay for the amount of months you have had use of or enjoyment of or benefit of the said agreed purchases.
Best of luck x

AngelicKaty · 07/09/2025 17:58

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 17:45

He has threatened this yes

Show quote history

OK then OP, was your agreement to repay him half just verbal or, for example, did you discuss and agree to repay him via text messages? In other words, is there evidence that you agreed to repay him?

TruthOutWeighsLies · 07/09/2025 17:56

You agreed to pay half.
You havent paid him anything in 8 Months
You should of paid him large chunks of money already.
You shouldnt of promised to pay half if you couldnt afford it

AngelicKaty · 07/09/2025 17:56

Viviennemary · 07/09/2025 17:37

Don't pay him. In any case why was he improving a house he was only renting.

Because they signed a five-year "Rent to Buy" lease with the intention of buying the property from the housing association in the future. It's nothing like a six-month AST.

AngelicKaty · 07/09/2025 17:52

usedtobeaylis · 07/09/2025 17:10

No. If you were both leaving and he wasn't going to benefit from the purchase of those items then I would say you would still owe him half. But he's going to continue to live there and you do not owe him half for items that you have benefited from, from the sounds of it, for about five months. You don't owe him anything.

Currently, there's no guarantee OP's STBX can stay in the property, as per my exchange with OP earlier:

AngelicKaty · Today 15:21
"To be fair OP, if this had been your opening post you'd have received different responses (it's been a bit of a drip-feed but things are clearer now).
So, has your STBX passed the affordability check? Is it certain that he can remain in the property alone?"
Cuppatealover · Today 15:29
"They will only do the check after I leave which is why I suspect he's getting so stressed about me not paying half for everything in case he ends up having to leave. Of course in that scenario, none of us are benefitting from the goods purchased and I would be willing to then pay half based on the fact that the goods were for both of us. I would have to sort a payment plan out with him. But if he is staying then I reiterate my point of they are now his things to do as he pleases."

In other words, if he gets to stay in the property she won't pay, but if he doesn't because he can't, she will. Having read OP's original post I thought she was being unreasonable, but having read all the subsequent ones, I think the approach she's outlined here is reasonable and I've changed my vote on the basis of this being her intention. 😊

ComfortFoodCafe · 07/09/2025 17:50

If he takes you to a small claims court, then so be it. You did agree to pay & you didnt pay in eight months but this is seriously the least of your worries.
Honestly op I would leave today & go stay with family or friends if you can. This wont end well.

tipsyraven · 07/09/2025 17:49

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 17:45

He has threatened this yes

Show quote history

Call his bluff.

dapsnotplimsolls · 07/09/2025 17:49

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 17:45

He has threatened this yes

Show quote history

Even if he does this, I doubt he'll get more than 10%. He should just accept that amount now.

Letsgoroundagainnow · 07/09/2025 17:48

Invigoron · 07/09/2025 16:33

Exactly , a few bad apples doesn’t rot the whole barrel. A small minority of bad priests out of a majority of good ones doesn’t mean every Roman Catholic is vile. Ridiculous!

Show quote history

This doesn’t even make sense! Have you had to much of the communion wine?

Ilovemychocolate · 07/09/2025 17:48

Some of these replies are absolutely batshit!
OP of course don’t give him a bloody penny!
HE will benefit from all of it, not you!!

ComfortFoodCafe · 07/09/2025 17:47

BigBirdOfPrey · 07/09/2025 16:23

Did he pay anything towards the abortion at 5 months gestation?
i think you should still pay him.

You dont pay for abortions on the NHS.

Original poster

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 17:45

tipsyraven · 07/09/2025 17:38

You are not a failure, OP. Your relationship has broken down, you have debts and are struggling to survive. Do not be guilt tripped into paying for fixtures and fittings you can’t use. I left a relationship and flat when I found out my partner was shagging my best friend. He rang me up when the bills came in and demanded I pay half and I told him where to get off. Be tough, stick to your guns and move out. What’s he going to do, take you to a small claims court? I doubt it.

Show quote history

He has threatened this yes

OP posts:

ItsNotYou852 · 07/09/2025 17:42

Poppins21 · 07/09/2025 17:35

by the same token then - his future isn’t precious?

Show quote history

Reading comprehension 101 precious vs precarious

tipsyraven · 07/09/2025 17:38

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 14:35

I already feel like such a fucking failure in life the fact I'm in debt and yet another failed relationship. I desperately wish that it had worked out but it hasn't. I feel like I'm being made to feel (from him and now on here) that I'm a money grabbing scumbag who has taken everything from him when it isn't the case at all.
I've gone from being happy expecting a baby and moving in to a house with my partner, to having an abortion because it was the right thing to do, not bringing a baby into the world with constant arguments as a couple and my whole life crumbling.
I am going to be in a worse financial situation when/if I move. I'm not saying he is going to be absolutely flush because he isn't, but why would I pay for something I haven't got?!! He won't move and let me pay for it all. Because I've also offered that. I've said I will take out a bigger loan to give him the whole amount of money back for all the goods because they would obviously be mine. But he wants to stay.

You are not a failure, OP. Your relationship has broken down, you have debts and are struggling to survive. Do not be guilt tripped into paying for fixtures and fittings you can’t use. I left a relationship and flat when I found out my partner was shagging my best friend. He rang me up when the bills came in and demanded I pay half and I told him where to get off. Be tough, stick to your guns and move out. What’s he going to do, take you to a small claims court? I doubt it.

Viviennemary · 07/09/2025 17:37

Don't pay him. In any case why was he improving a house he was only renting.

Poppins21 · 07/09/2025 17:35

Lavenderandbrown · 07/09/2025 15:09

Op making your post at face value and not researching past “takeaways” post or trying to date your pregnancy at time of termination. You have made some very difficult decisions and i think you are in pain. Mourning the loss of the future you thought you were going to be living.

for those reasons I say just leave. It may be perceived as unfair or screwing him over or you are a female cocklodger but I think your future is very precarious due to recent events and this debt you have now. You cannot take on anymore debt. He will have to find a way to pay for the home improvements and you will have to find a way forward with your MH and finances slowly but surely improving.

by the same token then - his future isn’t precious?

Letsgoroundagainnow · 07/09/2025 17:33

AngelicKaty · 07/09/2025 17:30

OP posted this, specifically to you, at 16:10 today so you know precisely how far along she was: "Yes, report those who share their "viewpoint" in a nasty, condescending way when they clearly no nothing about the process of abortion. You DO NOT give birth to a child at 19 weeks which is what I was. Go and read a biology book and educate yourself and while you're there, learn some compassion and hope you never end up in a situation where you have to make such a horrendous life-changing decision."

@Letsgoroundagainnow copied in for info' 😊

Show quote history

Thank you

Letsgoroundagainnow · 07/09/2025 17:32

Invigoron · 07/09/2025 16:55

No, Im afraid it seems by your own standards you’re the very stupid one with comprehension issues… OP already admitted she was far along per below:

Cuppatealover · Today 15:02
EasySqueezy · Today 14:57
This.
Slowdownyouredoingfine · Today 14:55
You must have been quite far along if you were pregnant in January and had the abortion in May, I can understand why he’s so upset if you had been excited about the baby prior to this, seems a huge u-turn to make.
Hide quote history
Yes it was. And a very difficult decision to make. I will not be shamed for that. This post was not about that.

Show quote history

Define quite far along for everyone? Is mine the same as yours, the same as OPs?

You’re so stupid aren’t you?

I mean it’s like your definition of something is the same as others, like we’d want to think like you!

AngelicKaty · 07/09/2025 17:30

Invigoron · 07/09/2025 16:55

No, Im afraid it seems by your own standards you’re the very stupid one with comprehension issues… OP already admitted she was far along per below:

Cuppatealover · Today 15:02
EasySqueezy · Today 14:57
This.
Slowdownyouredoingfine · Today 14:55
You must have been quite far along if you were pregnant in January and had the abortion in May, I can understand why he’s so upset if you had been excited about the baby prior to this, seems a huge u-turn to make.
Hide quote history
Yes it was. And a very difficult decision to make. I will not be shamed for that. This post was not about that.

Show quote history

OP posted this, specifically to you, at 16:10 today so you know precisely how far along she was: "Yes, report those who share their "viewpoint" in a nasty, condescending way when they clearly no nothing about the process of abortion. You DO NOT give birth to a child at 19 weeks which is what I was. Go and read a biology book and educate yourself and while you're there, learn some compassion and hope you never end up in a situation where you have to make such a horrendous life-changing decision."

@Letsgoroundagainnow copied in for info' 😊

Letsgoroundagainnow · 07/09/2025 17:28

PiggyPigalle · 07/09/2025 17:27

Has OP paid any rent in all this time? I get the impression she hasn't. In that case, she needs to pay up.

Show quote history

She has, she’s stated that.

Do you know how to filter and read OPs posts?

PiggyPigalle · 07/09/2025 17:28

MaryMungoMidgley · 07/09/2025 17:16

Dont pay him anything, if he raises the subject refuse to engage & change the subject.
Meanwhile get everything organized so that one day (& asap!) he comes home to find you gone.

I can't believe you advise that.

PiggyPigalle · 07/09/2025 17:27

nomas · 07/09/2025 17:00

He doesn’t even want her to have the white goods. He wants to keep it all AND have OP pay half. That is not reasonable behaviour.

Which other couples do you know where they each pay half but one person keeps all the goods?

Edited

Show quote history

Has OP paid any rent in all this time? I get the impression she hasn't. In that case, she needs to pay up.

MaryMungoMidgley · 07/09/2025 17:16

Dont pay him anything, if he raises the subject refuse to engage & change the subject.
Meanwhile get everything organized so that one day (& asap!) he comes home to find you gone.

Scentedjasmin · 07/09/2025 17:16

You agreed to pay half. I have no idea why you would agree to paying for new flooring in a rental property though. I would give him the choice - pay half for the blinds and appliances and take half with you. Alternatively you agreed to them and benefitted from them for a few months. Assuming that there were no appliances there at the time, then you would have had to have bought them in order to live there. Therefore you should pay him an amount (maybe 25%) for them.

Finteq · 07/09/2025 17:15

MadinMarch · 07/09/2025 17:11

If OP had paid her share at the outset, then she would own half of the goods purchased and she would be entitled to take half the cost of them with her.
As it is, he has decided unilaterally to be the one to remain in the property and won't negotiate op buying the white goods off him to take with her. If he is going to have the longterm use of all the bought goods, then of course he needs to bear the cost of them all.
My daughter has been in a similar situation whereby her partner wanted to end the relationship a few months after they'd moved in together for the first time. They'd both paid 50:50 to buy furniture and other goods. He too unilaterally decided he'd be the one to remain in the property, but even he, Twattymactwatface that he was, repaid my dd the 50% she'd paid for the goods that he was going to keep without any quibble at all. It was the only fair and reasonable way to do it.
OP-You're getting a really rough time on here for no good reason. Get your name off the tenancy and all the bills including council tax asap and go and lead your best life!

Show quote history

Exactly.

It's his decision to remain.

So he needs to bear the costs of it.