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Original poster

For not paying half when I'm leaving.

489 replies

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 13:05

Very emotional and awful time right now. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
Been through a hell of a year. Decided to move in with partner in January. A week after signing for the rented house we found out I was pregnant. All good.
Moved in end of March and partner had paid to get whole house blinds fitted, new floors through the house and appliances for kitchen. We agreed I would pay him back my half for these.
Fast forward and relationship has just gradually got worse and broken down. I had a termination of pregnancy in May due to various reasons which I know he resents me for as he wanted the baby.
Had a row the other week as I told him I do not want to be in this relationship anymore and how do we go about the split re house and associated costs. He still expects half for the blinds, flooring and appliances (I haven't paid anything yet) but intends to stay in the house and won't move. Has said if I'm unhappy then I should move. Which I agree with. But I've said I'm not paying half for things he is keeping of he is staying in the house. I can't take half a fridge freezer or blinds!
I have now found a house and told him after looking for months. Got two cats so it's incredibly difficult to find a rental. Now I've told him it's erupted into a huge row about how I'm trying to worm my way out of paying him back and putting him in financial hardship because he wouldn't have paid for those things if he knew I wasn't going to pay half.

OP posts:
Adelle79360 · 07/09/2025 19:28

OP you are in the right - don’t pay him for half of something you can’t take with you. How ridiculous that some posters are even suggesting this can be right.

AngelicKaty · 07/09/2025 19:27

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/09/2025 18:41

Make him an offer, in writing, for:

The percentage use you've had out of these items;
To pay for half and take the practical half that are portable.

When he inevitably tells you to fuck off to both options, tell him he can indeed take you to small claims court.

These options are fair solutions to the issue, small claims court will see that you've made fair offers, and he has refused them and most likely tell him to stick it up his arse.

I'm sorry, but suggesting she puts this offer in writing is bad advice. If there's no written evidence of their agreement (e.g. a text or WA exchange) for OP to repay him half he would have nothing to support his claim at small claims court. You are suggesting that OP admit to the debt and that therefore the contract to repay him did, in fact, exist, giving the court no option but to find in his favour. You are suggesting that OP give her STBX the evidence he may not currently have.
Debt Advice 101: never admit a debt unless clear evidence of it already exists.

QueenClinomania · 07/09/2025 19:24

Don't pay him for anything he will be keeping!

carly2803 · 07/09/2025 19:21

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 17:45

He has threatened this yes

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write off this relationship - dont pay him - he will benefit and you will be at a loss for someone you will likely never see again!

enjoy your new home and move asap!!

BringBackThe1990s · 07/09/2025 19:19

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BringBackThe1990s · 07/09/2025 19:18

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adviceneeded1990 · 07/09/2025 19:10

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 15:40

Oh just fuck right off. I would never want to give my child up for adoption. My baby was very much wanted by me despite what you may think. Like I have said, I made the very difficult decision for a variety of reasons you know nothing about. This post was nothing to do with the baby so please get lost and go and do something else with your day.

Show quote history

Rightly or wrongly, the information you have given (that you aborted a second trimester pregnancy because you were arguing with the father) will be an emotive topic to many posters. The information you have given about your debts and affordability status is confusing people too. You would probably get different answers if you communicated more clearly from the beginning of the thread.

The bottom line, however, is that you owe this guy nothing and should move into your rental and work towards paying down the debt and living your own life happily.

Invigoron · 07/09/2025 19:03

DrySherry · 07/09/2025 15:27

I feel quite sorry for him, he thought he was making a home for a family and now he's left with nowt.

Yep

PotatoLove · 07/09/2025 19:03

Give him nothing OP, he's going to be the one benefitting from the items after all.

ManchesterLu · 07/09/2025 19:03

BMW6 · 07/09/2025 13:25

Of course you shouldn't be contributing to the cost of appliances and fixtures that you won't be using! What a massive twat he is!

She's been using them since he paid to have them fitted in MARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's 6 months ago! I genuinely think she SHOULD pay him something towards it! Basically she agreed to go halves so he effectively lent her the money, now she's refusing to pay him back.

And aborted his baby NOT at an early stage.

Wow.

The man IS NOT always the bad guy!

TheSilentSister · 07/09/2025 19:02

Absolutely do not pay a thing OP. I bet you that if you had paid 1/2 originally, he would not be giving you a penny back.
I'd say the same if this was a reverse.
He has the goods. Your circumstances have changed and the relationship has broken down. I can't see the Small Claims Court making a decision is his favour. It's not like you threw out floor/blinds/white goods for new ones. He needs them, he's keeping them. He's not out of pocket.

Invigoron · 07/09/2025 19:01

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PiggyPigalle · 07/09/2025 18:47

I see the thread has degenerated into the usual back and forth of nastiness, on a subject that has nothing whatsoever to do with OP's question.
Pity you made the mistake of mentioning it, OP.

Gremlins101 · 07/09/2025 18:43

Nope I wouldn't be paying

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/09/2025 18:41

Make him an offer, in writing, for:

The percentage use you've had out of these items;
To pay for half and take the practical half that are portable.

When he inevitably tells you to fuck off to both options, tell him he can indeed take you to small claims court.

These options are fair solutions to the issue, small claims court will see that you've made fair offers, and he has refused them and most likely tell him to stick it up his arse.

Velmy · 07/09/2025 18:35

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BringBackThe1990s · 07/09/2025 18:34

How is that a threat? Just pointing out that what she’s done and the way she’s treated people is pretty terrible.

OhBumBags · 07/09/2025 18:33

Noelshighflyingturds · 07/09/2025 18:30

Did you just threaten a female poster ? You know they can trace isp’s ?

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It was a twattish post, but where's the threat to the OP in it?

Or am I reading it differently?

Noelshighflyingturds · 07/09/2025 18:30

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Did you just threaten a female poster ? You know they can trace isp’s ?

Espressosummer · 07/09/2025 18:29

Bigcat25 · 07/09/2025 18:05

It's not fair that you should pay for something and have zero use or gain from. He's the only one using them of course, and it'll improve his house value. This wasn't clear from your first post but I don't think you should be expected to pay. Wishing you the best as you rebuild.

He's probably an abuser, your better of without him.

She's had half a year of using them. It would have been pretty grim living in a place with no flooring, blinds or white goods.

BringBackThe1990s · 07/09/2025 18:28

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AngelicKaty · 07/09/2025 18:13

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Reported. (You know MN has Talk Guidelines, right?)

Letsgoroundagainnow · 07/09/2025 18:13

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Why so nasty? You don’t know what went wrong o the relationship? Is this just about the money?

BringBackThe1990s · 07/09/2025 18:06

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Bigcat25 · 07/09/2025 18:05

It's not fair that you should pay for something and have zero use or gain from. He's the only one using them of course, and it'll improve his house value. This wasn't clear from your first post but I don't think you should be expected to pay. Wishing you the best as you rebuild.

He's probably an abuser, your better of without him.