For not paying half when I'm leaving.

Stop embarrassing myself, says the loony pro
lifer! Who thinks everyone should feel the sane. Who also sticks up for abusive Catholic Church members.

M A D!

Sorry you've had such a hard time OP.

If it were me, I'd pay as agreed and keep my word. I'd walk away with my head held high and not look back.

You suspect wrong. A cock lodger is someone who brings nothing to a long term relationship except his cock.

This is an entirely different situation. The relationship has fallen apart a few months after moving in together. It didn’t work out! So why should the OP have to pay for half his stuff that he will have for a good 10 years when she was there for 8 months??

Setting the scene, not for you to attack her, that’s for sure.

Explaining how brave she was dealing with the situation, how bad the relationship was. Why she’s got to leave.

He's being nasty and a bully. That's why it's relevant. The reasons is for op alone.

YANBU. You would have paid half if you stayed with him long term, but it hasn’t worked out. Surely it’s like when two people split up and one person ‘buys out’ the other. He’d be doing the buying out because the stuff will all belong to him.

Possibly, but she keeps babbling on about the rest of Europe, like it’s relevant!

If it wasn’t anything to do with the question OP asked, then why did she mention it in her OP?

Don’t pay him. He is completely wrong in the financial hardship point. If you had paid for half of those things, he would now need to recompense you for your contribution. Therefore, he is in the same financial situation whether you paid or not.

I know that I also had an abortion as well. I have been consistent in saying she should leave. The point of my post is that people will have their opinions and it's not up for discussion and I don't wish to debate it. When I aborted my baby there was people praying outside.

OP shouldn't have to explain why.
Nobody's business but her own and nothing to do with the question asked.

Who you responded to 🤣

How uninteresting.

Who?

There isn’t any country in Europe that allows abortion beyond 14 weeks except Nordics ( 18!weeks) and uk & NL

Is she American?

Op hasn't explained why she had an abortion. Some people believe that you shouldn't have an abortion regardless maybe he is one of those people. I don't want to challenge how people feel about abortion. I don't think the op should remain in the house. I don't think she should pay him for what he will keep.

How uninteresting, we live in the UK

No one wants to chase you.

You have no idea whether this applies to OP or not. Pro choice as long as it meets your personal criteria.

Sweden allows abortion up to 18 weeks.

Lets be frank - the outliers to the rest of Europe, as far as abortion is concerned, are Malta and Poland, where abortion isn’t allowed. They didn’t even want to allow abortion even if the life of the mother is at risk. They would rather allow their citizens to die (whether through pregnancy or back street abortions). This should be a bigger concern to you.

I assumed there was already written discussion of the debt and so a written evidence of sensible offers for resolution is a good idea.

Of course if there is no written evidence of the debt then no, shut up, say nowt, deny everything!

Do they have a mental health risk exception too?
I had an abortion at 20 weeks in very similar circumstances to the OP.
My baby was loved and grieved for, but I stand by mu decision.

Leave the OP alone and come chase me!

I’m not sure why people are giving the man a hard time wrt decorating the house - he found out his DP was pregnant and wanted to ensure the housing was comfortable and suitable. That’s the bare minimum I’d say.

wrt the money being spent - I would usually say you should honour your word, but really tbe answer depends on what would have happened if you had already paid, and were splitting up. My personal belief is he should foot the bill as he is the man, and the house would have housed his child but that is neither here nor there now.

A verbal contract is a contract. It is your agreement. The fact is you agreed to pay half these costs to make this rental a home with your DP. You then got pregnant, so this was an investment in your, his and your future family's future to have a nice home.

Assumedly you were party to selecting the blinds, white goods & other stuff also. So you weren't passive in this.

Subsequently, the relationship was working out like you wanted it to, so for that reason, & others apparently, you then aborted your baby, (late trimester), decided to leave your DP & move out to a new place of your own, & now you also want to renege on the (verbal) agreement you made to pay for half the furnishings & white goods together.

These are the facts. As far as I can gather. Is this correct!?

I think YABVU, because while it is your prerogative to change your mind on your baby, relationship, rental share & moving out ultimately, it is not your right to break your promise to pay for previously mutually agreed expenditure imho.

Your partner may not get to stay in this house because of your actions. You have really messed up his life already, and now you don't want to pay for the promises you made, as well. This is not on, & is slimey on so many levels.

I think the fair deal out of this would be:

1. If he's allowed to stay in the rental: to offer to sell your half of these goods to your ex partner, and so only pay him the net amount for depreciation & usage to date (say 30-50% of what you might have paid for half would be fair enough imho)
2. If he's not approved to stay in this flat, to fully pay your share of mutually agreed flat expenditure , which in fairness your soon to be ex DP acquired for ye all in good faith. As agreed.

The choice is yours OP, you can choose to be a spineless, ex DP who fups up their ex DP's life, leaves him, aborts his baby, moves out &forces him out through assessment, & then welches on their finances agreement also, or you can try to come to a fair deal to at least leave with some good faith & perhaps retain some (self) respect.

I know which one I would do ....