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AIBU?

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Original poster

For not paying half when I'm leaving.

489 replies

Cuppatealover · 07/09/2025 13:05

Very emotional and awful time right now. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
Been through a hell of a year. Decided to move in with partner in January. A week after signing for the rented house we found out I was pregnant. All good.
Moved in end of March and partner had paid to get whole house blinds fitted, new floors through the house and appliances for kitchen. We agreed I would pay him back my half for these.
Fast forward and relationship has just gradually got worse and broken down. I had a termination of pregnancy in May due to various reasons which I know he resents me for as he wanted the baby.
Had a row the other week as I told him I do not want to be in this relationship anymore and how do we go about the split re house and associated costs. He still expects half for the blinds, flooring and appliances (I haven't paid anything yet) but intends to stay in the house and won't move. Has said if I'm unhappy then I should move. Which I agree with. But I've said I'm not paying half for things he is keeping of he is staying in the house. I can't take half a fridge freezer or blinds!
I have now found a house and told him after looking for months. Got two cats so it's incredibly difficult to find a rental. Now I've told him it's erupted into a huge row about how I'm trying to worm my way out of paying him back and putting him in financial hardship because he wouldn't have paid for those things if he knew I wasn't going to pay half.

OP posts:
OhBumBags · 07/09/2025 13:41

He put a bizarre amount of trust in you to pay for all of that for you both and trust you'll pay him back as promised.

It's certainly not something I would've done and not something I would advise my adult DC or my friends to do.

But for whatever reason he did it and he has to learn to live with that mistake.

With regards to him carrying on living there, I assume someone has to as he can't just rip up the tenancy agreement and bugger off.

Morally the right thing to do would be to keep your promise and pay up, then wait until the end of tenancy when you can sell the items and split the cash.

I don't really know what to say about the blinds as having them fitted in someone else's house is bizarre.

Luluissleeping · 07/09/2025 13:40

He's a fool to shell out his own money for kitting out a house that is not his. Up to you if you pay anything to him. I might give a token.

Shedmistress · 07/09/2025 13:37

Just leave when he is out and do not give him your new address.

Hankunamatata · 07/09/2025 13:35

In 8 months why havnt you paid anyhting when you agreed to half?

Hairshare · 07/09/2025 13:33

You didn’t have any say in his purchases and now you’re moving out. You could offer a small amount for the time you lived there
but that’s it.
Youre well out of this OP, he is daft to spend all that money on a rental, apart from anything else. Did the landlord agree?

Mossssy · 07/09/2025 13:33

If you will need any of the moveable things (appliances) in your new place, you could offer to buy them from him. Since he said he wouldn't have bought them without you he obviously doesn't really want them. He'll have to pay full amount for the blinds and floors though, since he wants to stay in the house - his choice.
If you don't want the appliances though, just walk away.

Hoppinggreen · 07/09/2025 13:31

FuzzyWolf · 07/09/2025 13:29

Did he even ask if you wanted all of the work done and surely it’s not normal to spend out that on a rental place? The landlord could have asked for the place back at the end of the tenancy anyway.

And without written permission for the changes it could cost the deposit.
Also if you are on The Tenancy Agreement you might not just be able to walk away

FuzzyWolf · 07/09/2025 13:29

Did he even ask if you wanted all of the work done and surely it’s not normal to spend out that on a rental place? The landlord could have asked for the place back at the end of the tenancy anyway.

KpopDemon · 07/09/2025 13:27

Well that was his risk wasn’t it?

He can’t force you to pay.

SquirrelRed · 07/09/2025 13:26

I definitely wouldn't be paying if I were you, but just to play devil's advocate, if you had paid half at the time would you be asking for that money back? Probably not I guess?
Can you afford to give him a small amount to keep the peace if that's what you're looking to do.

BMW6 · 07/09/2025 13:25

Of course you shouldn't be contributing to the cost of appliances and fixtures that you won't be using! What a massive twat he is!

Linenpickle · 07/09/2025 13:16

Tell him to do one.

Bobbybobbins · 07/09/2025 13:14

No don’t pay him

Minnie798 · 07/09/2025 13:13

No don't pay him. He is going to stay there so will benefit from his purchases. You won't -unless he is agreeing that you will take the kitchen appliances with you if you've paid for half of all the stuff!
Good news that you are in rented and have no shared children. You can just get your name off the rental agreement and move out asap . Block and you never have to deal with him again.