Friend of 20 years has reinvented herself as a sex worker with a married sugar daddy, and is now unbearable to be around.
I’ve been friends with this woman for nearly 20 years. When we first met, she was perfectly normal, a fitness instructor, sociable, fun, always single but seemed happy enough. She had a bit of a dramatic streak but nothing unmanageable.
Then covid hit, and honestly, it was like she unravelled. Because of lockdown rules, she got into this weird pattern of dragging men off Tinder and moving them in straight away. One guy in particular was really unstable, he ended up falsely reporting her to the police for drugging, kidnapping and raping him. Obviously it was nonsense and no charges were brought, but it was a huge drama.
After that, she torched her old life. Quit her job, cut everyone off, went to live “off grid” in the woods in a bell tent. She lasted a few months playing at being some wild free spirit, then got bored and moved back to London. That’s when she got into webcamming and eventually full-on escorting.
Now she has one main “client”, a finance guy who pays for her to live in a £3.5k a month flat in a very boujee part of London. On top of that, he’s given her a credit card with a £100k limit. The catch is that he is married with two small pre-school kids. She thinks this is hilarious. She literally laughs about how clueless the wife must be and brags about how she is the “main character” while the wife is just boring background NPC.
The narcissism is off the charts now. Everything has to revolve around her. She swans around talking about her “main character energy” like it is a personality trait. She sneers at my life. I’m married, have kids, and a career. She constantly rolls her eyes and says things like “ugh, there’s more to life than nappies and pets” or “I could never settle for a 9-5 like you, I deserve more.” I actually have a fairly successful career, but to her anything that isn’t men bankrolling her and her “shopping and beauty” lifestyle is laughable.
What makes it worse is that nearly all her other friends have quietly disappeared too. She insists it is because they are jealous of her “main character energy” and her new lifestyle. She cannot see that it is actually embarrassing to be around her when she is like this. It is exhausting and cringeworthy, not enviable.
We went on holiday recently and it was unbearable. She insisted on the “best” seat everywhere because “I need to be seen.” She tried to boss me around, telling me what we were going to do, and expected me to run around after her because, in her words, “I always do whatever I want.” When we met some guys and they asked what she does for a living, she smirked and said: “I live… I shop… I keep myself beautiful. That’s what I do.” She genuinely believes this is an accomplishment. She obviously didn't share with them she is a sex worker.
We were only away for three days, and she spent two of them literally in bed, sleeping, then sulking when I refused to sit around the apartment with her. I went off and did my own thing because I couldn’t bear wasting my holiday.
I’ve bent over backwards to be understanding of her choices, even when I don’t agree with them. I’ve never judged her for the sex work, or for reinventing herself every five minutes. But she offers me no grace back. She judges, sneers, mocks, and now actively gloats about being a married man’s mistress while living off his £100k credit card. I honestly feel sorry for his wife and kids.
After 20 years of friendship, I don’t recognise her anymore. She is smug, selfish, and exhausting.
AIBU to think this friendship has run its course and I should just walk away?