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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU re way we manage the household and spend our time ?

33 replies

GimmieABreakOr3 · 07/09/2025 10:21

Hi, I have name changed for this one. I’ll keep it brief but DH and I are mid 30s no children. He works in London during the week and I work from home and from the office one day per week. I’ve been having some health issues recently and I’ve been unwell this week.

I feel I am the one who maintains our house and does all of the cleaning and majority of the decisions re food, meals. I do the food shopping. Yesterday I felt restless as been stuck in and wanted to go out for a walk. DH said no. He is rigid and likes one day off at the weekend where he literally stays in “to rest” which involves video games, watching YouTube and then one day where he’ll do house chores.

Would this set up work for you? BTW he is not available at all during the week to do anything. AIBU to feel this is unfair, rigid and also pretty dull and boring as a partner.

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 07/09/2025 10:30

That doesn’t sound sustainable. Can one of you find a different job so you’re together all week?

Original poster
GimmieABreakOr3 · 07/09/2025 10:29

Easyozy · 07/09/2025 10:27

That does sound incredibly dull for someone child free in their 30's. My friends in their 60's still have very busy social lives, travelling, going to gigs etc. Life is too short to stay at home all the time.

We have plans coming up .. comedy gig, weddings, gigs, theatre. It’s more day to day and during the week when we are plans free if that makes sense. I might take myself for a cinema date this week! It’s difficult when you’re not feeling 100% I guess I’m looking for some more support, understanding and adjustment from him

OP posts:
Original poster
GimmieABreakOr3 · 07/09/2025 10:27

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 07/09/2025 10:25

To be fair, if it's just you in the house all week, how much cleaning and housework is there to do? He sounds ridiculously rigid and rather childish. What's he like on the day you ARE allowed to do things together?

We have pets, so it can get a little messy. But I hear what you’re saying. I am pretty on top of it to be fair.

OP posts:
Easyozy · 07/09/2025 10:27

That does sound incredibly dull for someone child free in their 30's. My friends in their 60's still have very busy social lives, travelling, going to gigs etc. Life is too short to stay at home all the time.

Original poster
GimmieABreakOr3 · 07/09/2025 10:27

FurForksSake · 07/09/2025 10:24

God no, have a serious conversation or a divorce.

also, go out! Do things, get a life and hobbies and walks and be your own person.

I do, I just haven’t been able to this week as I’ve been unwell. I’m going out for brunch shortly with a friend, and then I think I’ll try to go to the gym or walk the dogs.

OP posts:
CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 07/09/2025 10:25

To be fair, if it's just you in the house all week, how much cleaning and housework is there to do? He sounds ridiculously rigid and rather childish. What's he like on the day you ARE allowed to do things together?

Overthebow · 07/09/2025 10:25

Neither of you are being unreasonable, but you aren’t compatible. Your DH is not being unreasonable for wanting to spend his free time the way he wants, but it’s obviously not what you want (and I wouldn’t like it either).

FurForksSake · 07/09/2025 10:24

God no, have a serious conversation or a divorce.

also, go out! Do things, get a life and hobbies and walks and be your own person.

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