Teenage daughter harassed by ex’s new girlfriend

Don't go to the police if your DD doesn't want you to - the last thing you want is her to feel she can't tell you if this behaviour continues. If she's going to be away from you then you need the communication channels to be well and truly open.

Is she going to uni far from home?

This. Moving to uni and on with her life will help. I'm not sure going to the police will achieve much right now.

I wonder if it would be worth also letting dds university know as well. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

It makes me quite uncomfortable that you’ve dismissed the previous behaviour as “the usual story”. This isn’t normal at all, it’s controlling and abusive.
The ongoing abuse is also concerning.
If you minimise this behaviour and ignore it why would your daughter see it as an issue if it happens again in another relationship?
I think you should name it as what it is with her and support her to report it to the police if that’s what she wants to do.

The other girl is another victim of his behaviour just like your daughter. She’s obviously in an intense relationship with him just like your daughter was and she’s seen evidence of them talking still which has rightly so upset her and instead of her boyfriend taking accountability for it he’s sent her to your door.

Your daughter needs to cut all contact and then she wouldn’t be dragged into this messy situation.

The police might not actually do anything, but at least report and get it logged.

Well the new girlfriend sounds unhinged too!! You're right that it is mainly led by the ex boyfriend but the new girlfriend isn't entirely innocent here is she?

Most definitely log it with the police and get a notebook started with all the evidence!! He is completely unhinged!!

Who the fuck in their right mind, drives their current girlfriend round to have a go at an ex? This is so weird and downright abusive.

And you must get it through to your daughter to break all contact, no texts, calls, fb likes, insta follows!! Absolutely nothing!! She cannot allow this to follow her to uni!!

I’m sorry your daughter is going through this.

… but it makes me uncomfortable that your title implies it is his new girlfriend who is the problem and the main harasser. When actually it is the ex who has been clearly abusive on an ongoing basis. And this is one last example of that. He has now used his new girlfriend (who is probably also being manipulated/abused) as a tool for his continuing harassment - probably telling her god knows what to fire her up and drive her to your home.

why is your title blaming the other young woman? It is not harassment to turn up on someone’s doorstep once. Whereas the ex is clearly abusive and harassing on a repeated, ongoing basis, using multiple different tactics. Can we please put the responsibility on the man it belongs to please?

Yes this.

The police will advise her to block him.

I know it seems black and white to us but I really think it isn't that clear for teenagers especially those who have been enmeshed in a coercive relationship, I think reporting him first might help her to block him.

Unless your daughter blocks him everywhere, I'm not sure how much the police will do. That isn't necessarily a reason not to report him, because it needs to be on record, but really blocking needs to be the first step.

All of this.

I suggest you have a serious conversation with your daughter about boundaries and what a healthy relationship looks like.

She needs to block this oaf and any other non-friends from her contacts and social media.

Talk to her about personal autonomy - that nobody is the boss of her and that nobody tells her what she can and can't do.

Personally, I would be going and knocking on that door right now and making it clear that if he or his girlfriend ever make threats against your daughter again you will be reporting them to the police. Then report him anyway.

There is only one kind of language people like that understand.

Were you still up at midnight? Did you go to the door too? .
What a piece of shit that lad is, now using new girlfriend to do his dirty work. Yuk

I would be tempted to go and hammer on his door and wake the weasel up but he's probably spawned from an equally nasty family.

DD needs to block him and never speak to him again.
Agree with PP, this is harassment but I am guessing your DD won't want to take this further? Unfortunately the harassment last night is the new gf rather than the ex, he rather cleverly didn't get involved other than driving.
In any case I'd save a copy of the doorbell footage and write down the sequence of events. And then at least you have all the evidence ready.
Agree with PP hopefully he doesn't know where she's off to? If he does then I'd definitely encourage her to file a police report

Report it all to the police. It is harassment. It will help build a case against him in the future if he persists and may make the police take him more seriously if he does this to anyone girl.

She probably hasn't blocked him because she is young and tangled up in.the drama of it all, which is a real shame her self esteem and confidence has likely taken such a dive that this ex and his carry on gives her a boost.

Agree with PP she needs to block him, also report to police even just to go on file. He sounds nasty.

Do you know his parents? It’s hard to tell from the outside how worried your daughter is about his behaviour but a word to his parents to explain and a heads up about the consequences of going to the police might help. And then he gets blocked on everything when she goes away.

is the university far away?

Does he know that she's going to Uni and which one it is ?
The less info he has on her movements the better.
He sounds unhinged.

Definitely police and is she still engaging with him? He should be blocked everywhere

Really the police should have been called when he was sending screenshots of personal messages out

Police. They need to know everything, not just last night. Last thing she wants is him turning up at uni and going mad at every person he meets until he finds her.