Teenage daughter harassed by ex’s new girlfriend

Some excellent advice on here. I just wanted to say that it's been enlightening ready some of the replies and hearing that you want to help. I was left to deal with a very similar situation as a teenager by myself. I would have loved my Mum's support in it. It was minimised hugely by my parents and I was largely blamed for it (for breaking up with him) and the idea of contacting the police didn't cross my mind. I just lived in terror until I moved away to uni. It's so lovely to hear there are so many supportive, thoughtful, loving parents out there

Report to 101 at the minimum, so that there is at least a record of this incident on file in case of a further escalation (I say further escalation as last night was a significant escalation). Just because your daughter is going to uni doesn't mean the harassment will end.

And I agree with PP that your daughter needs to block him and his friends on all SM and her phone and get some help setting boundaries. She's going to uni and sounds like she may be vulnerable to similar men (or indeed, the same ex) taking advantage of her when she has no family support to hand. Perhaps some online counseling that she can continue with when she's left home.

Report it to the police. He is harassing her and using others as pawns in his childish habit.

Yes, agree to this.

I’m sorry to say it but this man is a danger to your daughter. What he is doing is stalking and harassment and it is alarming that he is getting other people to collude with him.

i would strongly advise that your daughter blocks him on everything, never contacts him, and does not post anything on her SM about where she is going to university. Better still if she deletes her SM completely, because that is how he is keeping tabs on her.

Glad to hear that the police are taking it seriously.

That's extremely postive - hopefully new start in new city and police support puts a line under all this for her.

I think the reaction you'd get with police sadly depends on which force you have and who you get - but worth a conversation.

She needs to block him on everything - needs advice about what good relationship look like and abuse - frankly a lot of what you describe sounds like obvious abuse.

She needs to be extremely sparing with information in new city sadly with everyone so it doesn't get back to him. Any sign of trouble once there she need to get police and uni services involved.

Fingers crossed it ends and your Dd gets support

Please ask your DD to read this - she’s off to Uni, has already had one boyfriend who’s been abusive towards her and needs to be fully aware of what coercive controlling behaviour looks like. Also, call the police about last night’s incident if only to have it placed on record.
https://safelives.org.uk/about-domestic-abuse/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

Police . Tell them rhe whole lot and have it logged.

Harassment and abduction with the other event!!! Why haven’t you called the police before now?!?

This absolutely not true,

They prob wouldn't do anything but she should still report it in case things escalate and also she can use it to threaten the ex and his idiot gf to leave her alone.

And I agree with you she should also block him and cut off all contact immediately, there was no reason for her to continue to contact him but I also understand given she's young and maybe first love all that but this is a big life lesson for her.

The police cant do anything as she’s actively engaging with him. She needs to block him and have nothing more to do with him.

Yes, you can speak to the police even just for advice or for them to log everything that has happened should anything else happen in the future. There's a couple of crimes in what you've said, particularly the bf in the car getting people to shout abuse at your daughter and not taking her home. Do you have the girl shouting and swearing on ring doorbell footage? Even better as that is seen as abusive and threatening behaviour which is a crime. Police should take domestic related incidents seriously due to the potential for escalation.

https://alicerugglestrust.org/about-alice/

You let it slide???

You watched your teen daughter being repeatedly abused and endangered by this man - and you let it slide???

Only now, when his behaviour directly affects you, are you asking what to do?????

Call. The. Police.

This man has already proved himself to be a danger to girls by the way he abused your child.

Now he has another victim to wind up and control.

This kind of behaviour can only escalate. Having developed these habits already, he will get worse and worse and worse.

Do your duty and report the whole catalogue to the police with the evidence from your doorbell.

This other girl is not the problem - she is a symptom and a casualty of the problem; and she may need help, too.

If nothing else you = the OP want to advise the Police so he never turns up at yours again without serious consequences

Please call the police!! They may be able to make a charge for the previous behaviour and possible stalking/harassment for the most recent offence.
He sounds incredibly dangerous. Look up the case of Alice Ruggles. She must NOT tell him where she is living at university.

My Dd was in a similar relationship although she was a little bit older and the police were involved after they split up and the police were fantastic i can't fault them.

Police amd his parents, this is very worrying behaviour.

Oh and it was the police who told Dd to send one final message saying not to contact her again. Then he’s had it in writing and that’s the evidence he’s been told.

I’d be wanting to do both. Go round and tell him face to face in front of his parents so they know what’s going on and hopefully they read him the riot act.

If you’re not satisfied with his response at that point or there’s any further incidents go to the police. In the mean time your Dd needs to send one last message telling him to never contact her again (screenshot this as evidence he’s been told) and then block him on everything.

dd had similar behaviour from her ex and the police weren’t great to be honest. They were making excuses for him, that he was in our village becoming he was going to the shop (his own village has a shop), stuff like that. But in fairness they did talk to him and that scared him off.

Christ. I hope he doesn’t know which uni she’s going to.
yes talk to your daughter about reporting to the police. Also go through the fact what he did was a crime and is not acceptable.