Not sure what to make of my husband's comment?

Oh do come back OP 🙄

What do you mean you're not sure how to take his comment? Is it not obvious what he wanted?

How long have you been together? Clearly you're not in the same wavelength - how can that be? How can he either not understand what horse play, humour, banter you will accept? Is he just pushing your boundaries to see what he can get away with/what you'll put up with? You should be asking "how far does he take want to go with this?" - What's he got in mind? Something he hasn't discussed with you, something you don't know about? I'd want to get to the root of it before letting him get away with anything. I'd make an issue of if it until you know exactly where the two of you stand on issues around fantasies, acting them out, attitudes around sex and consent, etc. If you misjudge something you do it say most people would immediately try and apologies and to put things right - has he tried to do this?

Need more info
if you have a happy , & your comfortable with your husband , I don’t see the big deal , it’s sexy talk ..
You don’t sound like you have that kind of relationship at all to be honest , especially as you have gone off to spare room !

Come off it, OP hasn't made her partner sleep in the spare room, she's moved herself there. And it's not "just because he wanted to initiate sex" but the way he chose to do it, which was to try to pressurise OP into being his personal sex toy.

How long have you been together? Is this the first time he has acted like this?

I wouldn’t like this at all. The “no point” bit would make me feel like it’s my job to satisfy him whenever he wants. The guiding the head bit would make me feel I’m a sex toy

Seriously? You don't think you're entitled to expect your partner to make a bit of an effort to get you in the mood?

Sigh

It's the taking her head and trying to push it towards his dick that's the problem. Obviously.

I don’t get the over reaction either. I’m assuming it was done jokingly but without force. It’s perfectly normal and ok to have sex/give a BJ/hand job etc to your husband and it’s ok for him to ask for it and it’s ok for you to ask for it. Just like if I guide my husbands hand or head to me. He’s been there before and I know we like sex with each other and we trust each other and if he or I say no then that’s the end of it. I’m really missing why this is so horrifying. Did you refuse and he pressured you?

I expect this is indicative of much more extensive wider relationship problems where you feel used an taken for granted?
If I apply this situation to my own relationship, a happy, respectful one, I’d probably just laugh and either go with it if I wanted or tell him to fuck off, but he’s never made me feel like he doesn’t respect me.

She said ‘guide’. That’s not pushing.

Everyone’s intimacy style is different. There is nothing wrong with a bit of dirty more direct talk. Equally not being in to it as also okay. Telling him you’re not in to it is okay. Going on to the spare bedroom is an overreaction - you’re punishing him for wanting him to have sex with you, even though he had a clumsy way of initiating it.

The line could be just a shit joke.

Its the 'guided my head' bit thats disgusting.

Without context its impossible to comment properly.

She didnt say he pushed her head. It's like he could take her hand and guide it. If she doesnt want to she doesnt have to but for this kind of reaction I'm guessing there are issues in their relationship.

So you think physically pushing her head was ok, do you?

Jesus, raise your bar.

Guide your head under the covers, what the fuck? Does he always shove your head down when he wants his cock sucked?

She is the one sleeping in the spare room.

That would absolutely gross me out. And fwiw I have a high sex drive and enjoy oral sex.

Agree it is all about context here. This could either be funny or sexy (either way needs to feel that way for both of you), f-ing annoying or a bit disturbing. What's the context?

If I was really into him and loved sex with him I would find this kind of comment erotic in it's directness (provided there was no actual pressure to have sex behind it, and he was perfectly amenable if I declined). You say "guide your head," agàin i think that's OK as long as zero force was involved and he stopped as soon as you made it clear you didn't want to. It's just like a slightly dirtier form of kissing your neck/putting your hand on his cock, really....

If I wasn't really into him and didn't love sex with him I would be looking to leave the relationship, as I don't think it's fair to stay with someone you are indifferent to/slightly repulsed by.

However, that's just me. Context is everything. If you have previously told him you hate dirty talk, hate sucking his cock and/or hate being called "babe", you have a point being annoyed with him.

Be careful though. What would you think of a man who made his female partner sleep in the spare room because she tried to initiate sex? I accept that the genders aren't exactly equivalent here, as men are a lot less likely to feel sexual threat from us..... But still. See, that way round it sounds a bit emotionally abusive to me. He asked for sex. Potentially in a crass way, but still.... And now he's sleeping in the spare room.

Also he mindful what this may do to your relationship long term. NEVER have sex you don't want, of course. But also please try to avoid making your partner feel bad for wanting it.......

Your husband wanted a bj. I'm guessing your not really into giving oral which is why he felt the need to be more direct. Has this been an issue between you for a while?

Babe 🤢🤢

Pushing your head down was out of order!
as for calling you babe 🤢 ick!

What were you doing at the time when he was hard?

Context is everything here

out of the blue? Horrendous, pervy, selfish (though men can be a bit like this - it’s hard so I should use it)

midst of activity - crass dirty talk?

The comment wouldn’t bother me, but the pushing of the head is a step to far.

I mean, it’s not great. But you overreacted completely, unless this is just part of a bigger issue.