Friend backing off it can’t be because I am looking and feeling better can it?

Why does she give a shit how her MIL loses weight.

If her mother in law had high cholesterol would she give a shit if she took a statin instead of eating porridge every day or whatever. Would she wonder how thoroughly the safety of the Statin had been researched. Of course not. It affects her not one bit and is ridiculous.

No one has been ringing their hands about the long term safety of a medication that their MIL is taking - until Weight Loss Injections - funny that.

@Elphabaa im overweight myself but haven't gone down the WLI route as im nervous that there isn't enough known about the impacts long term plus sods law ill be the one with the bad side effects! I have friends on WLI who i haven't seen as much/distanced a bit from purely because I've realised a lot of our friendship was talking about weight beforehand, like a shared set of moans, yet now they have lost it, there isn't as much to chat about OR they made me feel bad about my weight. I think if your friendship is strong, it will work out. One of mine does work but I avoid all chat about weight!

I think we should all mind our own business about the way people chose to manage their weight issues. I am struggling to lose weight at the moment, but I would never use weight loss jobs. The fact that others choose to do so has nothing to do with me. I might feel a bit envious when I see them slimmed down, but I don't think I hold a moral high ground because I refuse the jabs and want to lose through diet and exercise. Live and let live.

@PoshDuckQuarkQuark its great that your friend has you talk to and express her frustration.
You might suggest that MIL may have been trying for years and years to lose weight through diet and exercise but has always failed and regained any lost weight, WLIs might be life changing for her.
As an older woman, she’s probably menopausal or post- menopausal and was finding it harder to shift the weight.
She may have other health problems that you’re friend is unaware of, and she may be feeling pretty self-conscious about her body and wanting to look better to avoid negative judgement.
The fact your friend is successful in losing weight is not diminished by another woman losing weight a different way.

This is quite common, OP. Be careful. A lot of people sabotage their weight loss efforts because subconsciously they don't want to lose their friends or their place in the friendship group when they lose weight.

People hardly ever talk about this as one of the challenges and consequences of weight loss.

Fat people are treated quite differently to slim people. When you slim down your friends are suddenly confronted with a slim person and your role in the friendship group might change and they can't cope with it. A person who has a fat friend suddenly loses that fat friend who is replaced by a thin "rival".

A friend's MIL is having the injections to lose weight.

My friend on the other hand is eating healthily and walking lots to lose weight.

She sees her MILs decision to use the injections as lazy and lost a lot of respect for her as she could have lost the weight through diet and exercise but couldn't be bothered.

And this injection also hasn't been researched as much as it perhaps should have been...

So many people do this. I have a friend who is only really happy to be my friend and hang out when she is doing better than me professionally (we are in the same field.) took me years to figure out what was going on.
maybe it’s a symptom of our compare culture on social media…?

Yeah she's not a good friend I wouldn't bother.

I agree with you, in my experience people losing weight tend to be very self conscious of how often they mention it. I do take these stories with a huge pinch of salt. However if you leave your relationship it’s as the relationship isn’t good, not because you’re a size ten. I read these kind of comments, cock an eyebrow, smile and move on, it just comes across as so bitter and jealous.

I realised my long term best friend only liked being friends with people she felt better than, as she liked helping. I was a sahm for 10 years and we interacted daily. As soon as I got a very well paid job she became distant and strange. Would no longer book me in to do my hair (she's a mobile hair dresser) even though I said I'd start paying full price because of my job. She quoted me double what I'd normally pay, which is the same price my new hairdresser changes me! Still.nevwe booked me in! Left my birthday present 2 weeks late behind my bin, even though I was clearly in. Stopped buying my kids birthday/birthday presents. Now she's struck up a close friendship with a lady I know, who's husband has left her alone with 3 children. She's struggling financially and with caring for her mum who has parkinsons. She just likes people who are struggling for some strange reason. Your friend doesn't like it that you're doing well for yourself. Leave her and find new friends.

I'm the sort of person who would front it out.

I'd send a message like

"Hi friend. Just checking you're ok? You really didn't seem yourself when we last met. Tbh, I came away from that meeting feeling upset and concerned, as you didn't seem yourself. You didn't reply to the last couple of texts I sent you. When I saw you in Tesco last week, you again didn't seem your normal bubbly self and you've not given me any idea of dates we can meet. Our friendship means a lot to me, and I'm worried about you as this isn't normal for us. If I've got things wrong, I'm sorry, and I'm looking forward to meeting soon. But if something is going on in your life that I'm not aware of, please know that I care about you, I'm always here for you and I want to support you through it."

If you don't get a reply, the friendship is over.

NB nothing in there about what she said about the WLI. If that really is her problem, then let her tell you clearly.

Go your own sweet way. If she really cared she would have reacted by now. People find time for the things that are important to them. I have seen it time and time again. Go and enjoy your new self, find new people and enjoy new experiences. The past has gone, embrace your future.

Maybe your friend genuinely thinks WLI are dangerous and/or knows someone who has fallen to the rare but extreme side effects. There are people out there that know these people. Just maybe it isn't about you @Elphabaa

These are the kind of comments WLI users get all the time, but really I'm one, and I really don't mention it. I'm not embarrassed and if anyone asks I will tell them, but I was worse when I did go slimming clubs etc. WLI make you NOT obsessed with food, unlike the clubs, so less likely to harp on about calories etc.

The results speak for themselves and some people just don't like it.

What I have found from reading social media is that many many people, a lot of them women are really messed up about weight, like properly messed up, they are either really unhappy with their own, or being slim is a prize they cherish, so when they see others losing weight, it brings out many negative feelings, envy, resentment, bitterness, anger etc.

you see it on the backlash on wli, some owning it, the obnoxious you’re cheating thing, some hide behind faux concern, the laughable I’m so worried about the long term effects thing, or you will just put it all back on. The screeching desire for people to stop taking them when they reach a certain weight, for people to not be allowed them below a certain bmi so they don’t get slim and stay there. And that’s to strangers on line. Not even friends. The made up stories, my friends all look haunted , they eat as they used to and the fat melts off, or went from a size 20 to a 10 over the summer holidays nonsense.

I realise when I read these silly comments, It’s about them. Not the drugs, not the person losing weight, it’s about them and their feelings on themselves and their place in the social hierarchy, it’s about all their negative feelings rising to the surface.

for many it’s about aesthetics, how slim people, how slim women, look, in comparison to them, not the health benefits, or the health issues that obesity causes, for them in their heads it’s all about appearance.

and it’s the same for your friend, it’s not about you or the drugs, it’s about her, and her feelings on herself. So id stay loosely in touch if you were previous good friends, , but no more, either she will get over it, or she won’t, but do recognise this isn’t about you. It’s about her and her own issues.

OP said she hadn't seen her for a while. Doubt she's sick of hearing about it.

Yanbu. Some people are so weird around WLI.

Think you're 'cheating', jealous of weight loss etc.

Ultimately it's jealousy.

Or is she sick of hearing about it?

This has been my experience with losing a lot of weight too. There seems to be an unconscious 'ranking' in friendship and certain things upset this, including weight loss. People feel threatened when you change. Really good friends are happy for you when things go well.

No one is going to admit to dumping a friend because they are annoyed the friend lost weight. They'll make up another excuse, so not much point trying to discuss it with her.
It's a coincidence she went mad at you for the first time exactly when you first told her about the WLI and losing weight isn't it!

Some people thrive on others' misery. You've changed the dynamic and upset her world view. Let her go.

Some people are weirdly funny about friends losing weight. Is she over weight herself? I would have no problem if a friend of mine was on WLI, though i’d remind them of the pancreatitis risk as i’ve had years of pain and a major surgery from a pancreas disease (caused by rogue gallstone). But ultimately, grown adults know the risks of WLI and totally their choice to accept that as of course plenty of health risks being over weight too.

Yep, she’s jealous and put out. Is she used to being the slimmer one? Or does she want to lose weight?

Op this isn’t unusual, and has happened to me too. This friend doesn’t have other factors to worry about otherwise she would have said she had a lot going on.

The fact is some friends prefer the jolly fat friend that you were, and not the empowered, confident positive person you are now. I have lost a few friends for the same reason, as I actually do feel much more confident and it shows. They became intimidated, and couldn’t adjust and would come out with PA comments. Others have been very supportive and kind. She could also be a rescuer, abd be unsure what her role is now. To feel better about herself she has to be rescuing someone.

You are allowed to make the best decisions for you - their insecurity and jealousy is for them to deal with. You do not have to appease others. Your body, your life and it’s your choice.

Ler her come to you, and if she doesn’t you have your answer. She really doesn’t sound like much of a loss.