‘Backwards compliment’ from date, not sure if I was right to challenge it

Yuck. Never discuss sexual experiences with exes - complimentary or otherwise - unless you are asked. That's not hard to figure out.

I suppose he was trying to reassure you he prefers your figure to hers, but he could just have said "I like the way you look" and not implied you're a bit fat but still fuckable (which is totally how I would have taken that).

Total ick.

Proceed with caution? When you’re worried enough about this to post for advice and feedback?

Some people really will lower themselves into the gutter just to not be alone…

I think he forgot where he was there for a moment! He was stupid, but boys can be crass with each other … personally it would be something I’d comment that wasn’t what I’d want to hear but would carry on if all else ok, but probably wouldn’t want to be hearing again… if he got the message! … I’ve grown up around all sorts of guys, with all sorts of educational levels. And they can be ‘basic’ … doesn’t mean they’re not kind, decent etc in other ways … but I’ve met others where that’s just the tip of the iceberg of crappy behaviours, in which case throw them back in!

YANBU

I find we have to 'train' people to communicate in the way we expect them to as it pertains to our individual boundaries.

Men and women can be quite crass, IMO, and it's ok to set your stall out re: what you consider to be appropriate, or otherwise, including phraseology etc.

If they respect it, then they respect you and you can move forward together. If not, then I guess you have your answer and a choice to make!

Yuck. He’s been on his best behaviour up until now but you’re starting to see who he really is - vulgar, crass, indiscreet.

Move on OP.

Crude, neggy and horrible, run away.

That was an inappropriate remark. He's obviously sorry he said it but what sort of person says things like that on a date to someone he doesn't know well. It's hardly impressive to talk about previous sexual conquests.

Don't see him again. He'll learn to be more discreet in future.

So he's shagging you both? Is he calling you fat to her? Raise the bar.

I wouldn't waste my time on a man who spoke about another woman like that.

Massive ick.

The way I read it was that he was seeing this other woman at the same time! Hope I’m wrong. But places like America (and here) people aren’t always exclusive and it’s common to date several ppl at the same time.

I think it is more worrying you need to ask in the first place, do you honestly not think is revolting? When will woman learn

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Agreed 100% giant red flag

He showed you how his brain works and said to much. I don’t think it was a backhanded compliment. He is interested in one thing.

Never date a man who compares you to other women.

I mean, fine. You're right. But that's hardly the important part here. He's going on about 'doing' another woman while having dinner with OP, and she's like, "let me have more of that".

Expectations of men are at an all-time low at this point.

He let the mask slip and showed you who he really is.
Ick, ick, ick.

Ewww

imagine how he'll talk about you if it ends and go from there

Doing someone from behind is not anal sex. I mean, it could be, but in our common parlance, it's not.

It’s not the best thing he could have said have but he was clumsily trying to compliment you and put you at ease.

It would be the same as if he was self conscious of his height and you said you’d been with someone really tall and it wasn’t good because of X reason.

I would always proceed with caution as you don’t know anyone properly for a good 6 months but I wouldn’t end things over it.

I've got no time for men who think that being rude or negative about another woman's body shape is somehow complimentary to mine.

That's without even considering the other red flags in his statement.

You could ask him how long his nipples are as one of your ex partners had little stubby ones and the clamps kept falling off when you led him around on the nipple leash.

He's talking about how he feels having anal sex with another woman while he's on a date with you, and you're going to have another with him?

Honestly. Being single is fine. We don't have to put up with this shit, for one.

@Cocktailsneeded

Oh gawd.

I had a few 'boyfriends' back in the day before I met my (now) DH who made stupid fucking comments like this. 'I really fancy you, I like a chunky arse,' and 'you've got a decent figure, but just another half a stone off would do you some justice.'

And my favourite one... I was dating a bloke once and I said 'I am really warm,' (it was July and around 30C, and we were in a pub with no aircon,) and he said 'that will be because you're carrying about a stone of extra weight.' I was no more than 9 stone 2, to 9 stone 6 with each one of these blokes (at 5 ft 4) and was absolutely fine. Why do these fuckers have to say ANYthing? Just fuck off man! I swear some men aren't happy unless you have your bones sticking out!

I doubt this bloke of yours meant to be nasty @Cocktailsneeded , but I'm afraid I would find this hard to move on from... 'I like you because you're fatter than my last girlfriend' is not cool is it, really?!