Name change for this one as could be outing.
DH has Dupreten's contracture. Had surgery on both hands twice. All good with his right hand, but his left hand is becoming more claw-like & increasingly useless to him. I have to help him dress - he can't manage buttons, had problems putting on socks, doing up shoes, I have to cut up his food as he can't manage a knife & fork, all kind of little things. It's a big frustration to him & he hates needing my help. I get that.
He saw the consultant recently who has said he can have more surgery on his left hand, which hopefully will release his 3 forefingers, but he needs his little finger to be removed. He has a surgery date of 29/9/25 & after that he will have his arm elevated in plaster cast for at least 8 weeks. Surgeon has warned him that he will need help dressing etc for some months afterwards & risk of infection etc. We're booked fly out to Madeira for 14 days on 3/10/25. I've said it's too close to his surgery & he should delay his surgery until we get home. He's said 'no' as he wants it over & done with ASAP. I have every sympathy with his feelings, but I'm concerned that he will be in the early stages of recovery & not a good time to go on holiday, especially to somewhere that is likely to be warm (which is why we booked Madeira in October). We have holiday insurance, but they won't pay out as they regard it as elective surgery that could be booked for after our holiday. I must confess that I'm concerned that my holiday will be ruined by caring for post-op DH rather than enjoying travelling around the island etc.
As it stands DH has left a message with consultant's secretary to say that we're due to fly abroad 2 days after surgery & would this be OK. We have yet to hear back. I strongly suspect that they will say that he's not safe to travel abroad due to the risk of infection, the fact that he will have had a general anaesthetic so soon and many other reasons.
But, my question is: AIBU to ask him to delay his surgery until we get home?