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Original poster

To think school should’ve let me keep ds4 back a year?

283 replies

BulletinGuru · 06/09/2025 14:41

hi im new here so sorry if this is in the wrong place.

my ds4 started reception this week, hes only just turned 4 in feb so hes one of the youngest. hes finding it really hard, crying every morning, not wanting to go in, teachers saying hes not joining in with carpet time and gets upset when hes told off.

i did ask last year about keeping him back until hes older but school said its not really possible unless theres “special reasons”. i just feel like hes not ready yet. hes still quite babyish, wants his dummy sometimes at night and struggles with writing. some of the other kids are nearly 5 and it seems unfair hes expected to keep up.

dh says “he will be fine” and i should just give it time but its horrible seeing him so upset.

aibu to think they should let younger ones start later?

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 06/09/2025 14:53

If you are in England he won’t be one of the youngest and won’t fall in the summer born category.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 06/09/2025 14:50

Are you in the UK?

mamagogo1 · 06/09/2025 14:50

He’s half way through the year, hardly the youngest. I actually wish they hadn’t started this deferring situation because it muddies the waters, and we still don’t know what will happen at the older years because legally dc will be able to quit school after year 10 and parents won’t be able to stop them.

Luxio · 06/09/2025 14:49

Is feb a mistype? If not he's been 4 for over 6 months and whilst it's a pity he's having a tricky time he's by no means the youngest and not in the criteria of april-august in which children can be deferred.

Happyapplesanspears · 06/09/2025 14:48

Deferred entry in UK is for those born April-August - so if you are in UK he isn’t one of the youngest.

It also only been a week, many are very unsettled at this stage and for quite a while longer too.

Hoppinggreen · 06/09/2025 14:47

He does sound to be struggling but so will some of the other kids, even ones younger than yours.
Just persevere

CloverPyramid · 06/09/2025 14:45

Is “turned 4 in Feb” a mistake? Or are you outside the UK?

If you’re in the UK and he’s a February birthday, then he’s not even in the younger half of the year. It sounds like he’s struggling and needs some help, but blaming it on his age is silly and risks you not identifying the real things that would help him.

Ohmygodthepain · 06/09/2025 14:45

Sorry he's not enjoying it so far op.

He's not one of the youngest though, he's actually in the older half of the class, the younger ones will likely only just turned 4 in August.

He won't be the only one who's struggling though by far, it just takes time to adjust. Let the teachers look after him and ease him into things, they're very used to dealing with this sort of thing.

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