People just turning up at house

My ex ILs were like this, all of them. And they would call out the fact I was in my dressing gown in shock. They had never heard of a lazy Sunday, apparently.

In the days before mobile phones this would be more understandable, but I think it's very rude now not to check its convenient first. But I don't have any family near me so it would never happen without checking first.

yup this was in that days before mobiles and many people didn't have a landline either, we didn't. Sunday was the day when visitors might turn up, my parents hated it.

Ahhh what the hell? If they turn up unannounced they have to accept people as they are and get their own coffee. Yes I do realise you were chillaxing but if you are that close it shouldn’t really matter surely?

Some people think the problem might be the state of the house but for many of us, house is fine and visitor ready. We just don't WANT or have time to see uninvited people

I think people are getting more unsociable, when I was a kid in the 70s family were local and close neighbors all popped around unannounced, little knock on the door and entered.

My Mum used to say "Take us as you find us"

@Canipetthatdawg78

First off, i am sorry! Very annoying.

However when we (exH and I) were looking to buy a property, we went for a viewing and the lady opened the door and said “you find us as we are” and when i say it was the biggest mess i have EVER seen 😂😂 in a highly expensive post code ….

I am sure you are fine.

26 years later we still say “you find us as we are”. 😂😂.

This would drive me
around the twist

Yes, where was your DH in all this, OP? He could have taken over - they're his side of the family.

No it's not 'normal' in the real world. I want to know that someone's in before I pop round, so I message first! That's 'normal', both to allow them to say 'not now, I'm dyeing my hair' etc or so as not to waste your own time.

Perfect 😄😄

I would hate this!!! It's just not as acceptable anymore to just roll up unannounced. I'd never ever do that to someone, it's not fair, so inconsiderate.

The last time I remember dropping in without a prior arrangement was in the period after university in the mid 1980s. I wasn't on the phone and nor were some of my friends, so we'd just call round on spec. If I wanted to talk to family elsewhere in the country, I'd find a phonebox.

It was the norm for many people then and continues to be so for a certain number of us, but for a very large number, it isn't. We find it egregiously rude and inconsiderate and at a time when most people have access to a phone of some sort, completely unnecessary.

It should go without saying that you don't need reasons like working from home, studying from home, illness, recovery from childbirth, breastfeeding, or a big house renovation to say no to uninvited visitors. However, anyone who forces their company on people in any of those situations has crossed a red line and deserves a major pushback. Anyone who behaves like that when the tool to avoiding it is in their hand or attached to a wall feet from them only have themselves to blame when they aren't welcomed with open arms - whatever the reason.

This would infuriate me too.
I would either

1. Not answer the door.

My four dogs explode into barking when someone pulls up outside, so I get plenty of warning. I peek outside and if it's not my son or husband, I lock the door and go back to what I was doing. My house is big and I'm old and weak, so I need at least two days to get the house guest ready.
It takes at least an hour to get here from where anyone I know lives, and if they want to come here, without bothering to give me the heads up, I consider them rude, not me.

In this day and age there is no excuse for not giving someone a heads up that’s you’re heading over. My mum does it a lot and it does drive me a bit bonkers, but it’s my mum so that’s ok. Anyone else would not be ok

😂😂😂I love that!

Gramps & nanny are having a bath together - come on kids, let's let them get on with it while we cook a meal. Don't worry about the funny noises, they love to play in the bath😂

People in the real world don't live like this...

I know that Mumsnet often attracts quite like-minded people, but you are aware that everyone who posts on here, bots aside, does actually live in the real world too? So even if the person YOU know don’t live like this, many other people clearly do, or we wouldn’t be here to post about it.

I'm used to the 'cooee' as lived close to my mother & MIL for many years. I like it. I have neighbours to 'cooee' it's nice that they feel that neighbours & family feel they can pop in ...as long as were not having afternoon sex. 😉See my previous post about that. We now keep the doors locked & fortunately the dog is old & deaf.

I would have said great look after the kids whilst I have a lovely 2 hour bath

I don't worry about the state of my house as it's only relatives & close friends who are likely to call in at short notice - they know us & take us as they find us.

Having said that, I'm a rather tidy/clean person generally so all they will find is possibly cushions & throws not perfect, stuff on the coffee table, some things drying on an airer & maybe some washing up on the draining board. I keep the bathroom as if expecting guests as I'm fussy about it being clean & will clean the toilet & sink at least once a day, I also vacuum every day, & keep the kitchen floor & surfaces clear & clean.

Broadly speaking I agree, but ‘Cooee!’ always makes me think of my MIL who still says this. 😄 She’s also very critical about things like tidiness and doesn’t spare the little comments, and we’re not especially tidy people, so although I do like her in moderation , I’ve always thanked my stars she lives well out of popping-in range. It’d be ‘Cooee!’ out of the blue several times a week and I’d be forever scraping my blood pressure off the ceiling.