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Original poster

People just turning up at house

211 replies

Canipetthatdawg78 · 06/09/2025 13:08

I feel like this may be a mixture of being on my period and having only managed to get to sleep at 4:30am last night but I digress...

my FIL and BIL just turned up completely out of the blue to our house. I was slobbing on the sofa in my pajamas with unwashed hair, the kids aren't dressed - generally our house is fairly tidy most of the time but I had a busy day out with the kids yesterday and
got back late so the kitchen is a mess and it's just not "guest" ready.

It was one of those really personal moments where I felt so comfortable just slobbing around with my own little family and we were all happy doing our own thing and now I have to suddenly be "on" as well as worrying about being judged for my hairy legs etc 🤣

Am I being unreasonable for feeling really irritated? I could very will be and will accept it if I am... it's not early in the morning, we're all pretty close and I get on with them very well I just could have done with a heads up y'know?

OP posts:
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Arsonvenga · 09/09/2025 14:29

People like this are the reason I sit in my lounge with the curtains closed, TV on low and the door firmly locked when in goblin mode.

TalkToTheHand123 · 09/09/2025 13:30

Some people may struggle to answer the door or are happy for me to just walk in. I just go in if openend or unlock if I have a key with certain people who I know prefer this way, but need an appointment with others. 😂

godmum56 · 08/09/2025 21:35

Donewiththisshit · 08/09/2025 20:43

Happens all the time to me. People pop round, see the car on the drive or windows open. They might knock but if they don’t get an answer, or more often than not don’t even knock, just waltz in with ‘cooo eeee’ type greeting!
Drives me mad!

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that's why you can't open my door from the outside without a key.

Donewiththisshit · 08/09/2025 20:43

JustineRobots · 08/09/2025 18:33

But you wouldn’t know the door was unlocked unless you tried to open it. Why would you do that?

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Happens all the time to me. People pop round, see the car on the drive or windows open. They might knock but if they don’t get an answer, or more often than not don’t even knock, just waltz in with ‘cooo eeee’ type greeting!
Drives me mad!

JustineRobots · 08/09/2025 18:33

godmum56 · 08/09/2025 15:03

because they might assume that an unlocked door means its ok to walk straight in?

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But you wouldn’t know the door was unlocked unless you tried to open it. Why would you do that?

coxesorangepippin · 08/09/2025 17:51

😆

coxesorangepippin · 08/09/2025 17:50

'like a goblin'

Pinkbasketcase · 08/09/2025 16:58

I've a SIL who does this to me ALLLLL the time. Will not tell you when she is coming and expects you to just cater to her visiting... I've started to get up and leave my house ( the first time I left in my pajamas) and went to my sister's and told her I had plans. Why didn't she text?

This is a pet peeve for me cause my in-laws feel they have a right of passage to my home...

godmum56 · 08/09/2025 15:03

JustineRobots · 08/09/2025 09:16

Really? You think it’s okay just to walk in because the door is unlocked, as if that’s some universal signal to stroll on in?

Why were they even trying the door to see if it was unlocked? Why wouldn’t you just wait for the person who actually lives there to answer it?

because they might assume that an unlocked door means its ok to walk straight in?

LouLou198 · 08/09/2025 13:30

Yes, hate it, especially on a Sunday if I’m in pjs and just want a lazy morning.

Mistyglade · 08/09/2025 11:04

I hope they buggered off when they saw it wasn’t an appropriate to turn up unannounced.

ElsaMummy · 08/09/2025 10:48

this is literally one of my biggest hates. I’ve lived with family a lot of my life due to them needing help around the house. People just turn up, weekly, without notice or even without the courtesy to call.
I had my baby on a Friday, and on the Sunday, 48 hours later, one day after coming home from a c section, my grandmother accepted a guest in to the house. It’s utterly unacceptable in my opinion and the cause of much stress and unhappiness to me. I’d never dream of turning up to someone’s house unannounced or uninvited.

JustineRobots · 08/09/2025 09:16

Really? You think it’s okay just to walk in because the door is unlocked, as if that’s some universal signal to stroll on in?

Why were they even trying the door to see if it was unlocked? Why wouldn’t you just wait for the person who actually lives there to answer it?

Onthebusses · 08/09/2025 09:07

JDM625 · 07/09/2025 21:01

Themselves! They just walked in!!!

OP seems to be the only person in the country with a front door which doesn't lock when you close it. She already explained up thread that apparently she goes in and out the front door all the time so doesn't lock it! 😕

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Well, this is all rather self-inflicted. Also, even if they knock, you don't have to answer!

Onthebusses · 08/09/2025 08:11

thepariscrimefiles · 08/09/2025 05:43

They let themselves in.

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Why on earth do they have a key?! Fix dis!

Diblin93 · 08/09/2025 05:49

I expect a heads up before people call round. I think it is really rude for people to drop in unannounced.

stayathomer · 08/09/2025 05:46

if you don’t like it you don’t like it! Nobody visits us and I miss what I used to have when I lived near home that people would call over. Now I live near his family and they’re fab but never just pop by

thepariscrimefiles · 08/09/2025 05:43

Onthebusses · 07/09/2025 20:07

Who let them in?

They let themselves in.

thepariscrimefiles · 08/09/2025 05:43

OriginalUsername2 · 07/09/2025 18:47

My ex ILs were like this, all of them. And they would call out the fact I was in my dressing gown in shock. They had never heard of a lazy Sunday, apparently.

Turning up unannounced is one thing. Turning up unannounced and then criticising the fact that the person you are visiting isn't 'visitor ready' is appalling and rude behaviour.

JustineRobots · 07/09/2025 23:19

Would you really lock the door and not respond to them knocking? I don't think I could do that.

Which is exactly what these CFs rely on. They don’t text or call because it’s easier to say no to those. They turn up knowing a lot of people would feel the same way you do.

Laurmolonlabe · 07/09/2025 23:05

I'm sorry, but to me this is just unacceptable, I wouldn't have let them in- I would say I have flu- say it every time they try it, they will get the message.

sesquipedalian · 07/09/2025 23:01

OP, where was your DH in all this? I would have been absolutely fuming had my FIL and BIL simply turned up unannounced - I would seriously have been hard-pressed even to be civil, especially if I was lounging about in a state of undress with the DC. You are more than justified in being irritated - in a world where absolutely everyone has a mobile phone, why on earth couldn’t they have at least texted, or better still telephoned just to check it was convenient to pop round? But I would have so left DH to deal with them, and retreated to the bedroom with the DC!

GleisZwei · 07/09/2025 22:50

gingercat02 · 07/09/2025 22:47

I don't get this. No one I know would be bothered. My mum called in yesterday. I'm planning on dropping in on my BFF to give her eldest a off to uni present. MN is weird place.

I don't get people not realising that we're not all the same, but hey ho....

gingercat02 · 07/09/2025 22:47

I don't get this. No one I know would be bothered. My mum called in yesterday. I'm planning on dropping in on my BFF to give her eldest a off to uni present. MN is weird place.

Cherryicecreamx · 07/09/2025 22:33

My home is my comfort place (as it should be) so I wouldn't be pleased with someone coming around unexpectedly. And I wouldn't show up to someone's house without notice either. Not only is it polite but it assumes that you're in and not busy.

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