Son and detention

I wonder if the dentention has been logged against your son, but it's actually another student with the same or similar. I've done that, and you can't delete them. I did however, clock what I'd done, and the form tutor of the innocent party asked what the child had done. Quick phone call home to apolgise that I'd clicked Freddie Smith instead of Fred Smith sorted it.

Just adding my voice - I'm a secondary teacher of many years and I would never, ever do this. Wouldn't dream of it. Gentle reminders and reassurance is the name of the game for the first couple if weeks, it is a HUGE transition for them and despite how smoothly it all appears to be going, they are ALL scared of getting something wrong.
Shame on that teacher if that is exactly what happened - no wonder we have a bad reputation.
Re speaking to form tutor - many pupils are scared to 'speak up' especially to someone they hardly know. My daughter is in Year 11, an otherwise very confident girl and in fact, head girl, and when I say why don't you speak to the teacher about whatever, she says it's embarrassing/awkward.

This

Strict rules without room for discretion or good judgment are a recipe for a breakdown in the relationship between students/parents and the school. I think we’ve heard from enough teachers in this thread to say that the school is being unusually rigid, and that this is a very questionable fight for the school to pick on an 11 year old’s first day at secondary.

It almost lends itself to only being told half the story?

Please don’t email the school, or his form teacher or the head or ask for a meeting. Your son has to learn to handle these things himself and speak to his form teacher. Being new into school doesn't make him vulnerable and this isn’t primary school.

He will most certainly have had settling in days and met his form teacher before. He then had another opportunity to speak to the form teacher or any teacher about it.

I know it sounds harsh but it’s a good lesson in figuring by things out himself, speaking up and speaking to his teacher. He may not deserve the detention but he needs to speak to his teacher. Please don’t helicopter this situation - Hes in senior school now and this is what is expected.

The 90 minute is an automatic if the first detention is missed. That’s just the rule but can also be overturned.

Should we really be expecting children to blindly follow ridiculous rules when actually in the reality, it the treating people as you want to be treated, respecting staff and other students should be the priority not what colour your socks or hair are or whether your skirt is X length.

Call the school on Monday. Have they allocated a teacher to support the transition from primary to secondary school? My year 7 child has a member of staff to support the transition, a head of year teacher and another teacher that manages behaviour. I know from my older child that the form teacher reminds pupils, in the morning, if they’re on the detention list. He was probably embarrassed to speak up in front of new classmates. What a shame they were so harsh on his 1st day.

It’s not up to you to dictate to a school. You should find a school that aligns with your values on sanctions.

I am a secondary school teacher, and I’d never set a year 7 child a detention on their first day-or indeed a detention for not having a shirt tucked in at all! Very heavy-handed.

I would email the school again - directly to the form tutor and the head of year. Seems ridiculously harsh punishment!

Uniform is a huge thing at Secondary, if uniform is in place behaviour follows suit, so schools hugely imply on uniform esp in Yr 7. Also to note Ofsted now place a large emphasis on uniform so schools are sitting up and taking notice.

However first week a warning would do well, too harsh works for some and alienates others. Teachers often check at the door, be prepared maybe this happened and student refused or ignored. Do check their online behaviour system daily and encourage your child to.

Did you know the school was like this?
Ridiculous- any other schools he could go to instead if it continues like this?

Absolutely not. I made it clear to the school that my boys would not attend after school detentions and could only attend lunch detentions once they had eaten their lunch.

Imagine giving a detention to an 11 year old for not having his shirt tucked in on his first day!

Which is teaching him to be a good little worker drone and never question anything

Not necessarily.

School staff need to use common sense when applying "rules," especially for Year 7s who in their first week, so are new to the school, learning the ropes and possibly still a bit nervous and intimidated at a new school. They are in a settling in period. They will settle down.

If a rule is ridiculous or appears to have been applied unfairly and with no common sense, check it out and challenge it!

Didn't say I agree with it. But then that's school rules. Suck them up or face the detention

Teach him to be a good little worker drone...

That's bollocks

The teacher should be saying "I've warned you about your uniform (or whatever infraction) so now you have detention on Friday in Room 3B, Stafford Block. An email will go home too"

It'd be like your busy boss telling you "we have a meeting" but not telling you where and then being annoyed because they didn't provided all the info

An hour and a half detention for not tucking your shirt in makes some kids think “fuck it, if I’m going to get a detention for something that stupid, I might as well do something worse.”

Lots of people think that way (I certainly did at secondary). The school I worked in kicked itself in the foot with stupid rules leading to long detentions.

A lot of state schools are extremely strict in the beginning to set expectations. You’ll both have to accept it I think and your son will know what do next time. It’s frustrating I know - detention was given to my ds for having a shirt button undone in the first week a few years ago, and they were not allowed to take their blazers off in the classroom when it was hot until they were given permission.

They are doing it for a reason and complaining won’t change anything.

Secondary teacher here. As others have said, that's an exceptionally harsh and unusual response to an untucked shirt. I'd email the head of year / head of behaviour. It's a pastoral rather than academic concern. Explain clearly that while you respect the school rules, your son will not be going to the detention until you understand the circumstances.

They would definitely have had an assembly or extended tutor time explaining the rules. He flouted them, then didn't turn up to the detention so now has another longer one ... He needs to learn there will be a lot of rules you and he won't agree with but you sign up to the rules when you decided on that school

This is a good way to teach children that rules are arbitrary and teachers are petty tyrants. Not the message you want to send on the first day, especially if you want to have their parent’s support should a more serious issue arise later.