To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

I don't think you realise just how anguishing this to read @Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar. It's difficult enough when your child won't eat the nutritional food you've prepared for them over and over again without having other much luckier parents being derogatory towards your baby (you feel very protective of them even though they are annoying and upsetting you with their refusal to eat good food and preferring chicken bloody nuggets).

Please have a bit of compassion towards your DSis and DNephew, they aren't trying to wind you up by turning down your fabulous roasts. They're attempting to avoid the stress of being presented with something the kid can't eat. It's not personal.

Even worse is when you get smug parents who state that their child eats everything because "We just gave them what we were having, I don't do fussiness with food!" Yeah, I gave my kid what we were having, and he ate everything I gave him until I gave him something he didn't like. And that set him off down the path of suspicion and fear that I was going to keep giving him food he didn't like. Autism goes hand in hand with overreactions and anxiety and, coupled with parental desire to ensure your precious child eats enough to do more than just stay alive, the whole process is wrought with anxiety and stress for both parties.

Don't be that person. Just cook the pizza he likes and feels safe with.

Then have that conversation with her, ask what your autistic nephew can eat, and cook that for him.

You sound a bit too puffed up and please with yourself, and obviously have no understanding of autism.

And also this.

Your sister was being unreasonable to not consult you in advance with the plan for the pizza but now you know you should try to find a way to accommodate his needs.

I agree with you @PestoHoliday

They have come all the way from Australia, who knows what can happen til their next visit. Enjoy and stop stressing over silly things though I would be annoyed at the oven being opened.
Would funds allow for the dc to order pizza in ?
They would have fun deciding amongst themselves what to order..

It would spoil a good roast though. Homemade yorkshires only if you cook for friends or family!

For one meal you do the roast. All the kids have pizza

But were the Yorkshires actually impacted by the oven opening @Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar Thos is critical information.

Book a table at a local restaurant where everyone can choose what they want to eat. Takes pressure off you as well.

Also- why wouldn't you just say, 'fucking hell sis my Yorkshires! Leave it on the side and I'll do it!' and shove her out of your way, like normal sisters do 😁

Instead of silent resentment for 6 months and a post on the internet

My thoughts entirely-sounds like the least fun family ever. We would just have laughed about it for years. Also, perhaps it would be worth explaining to your DC that their cousin has special needs with regards to food, or like others have said, give all the kids pizza. It is ONE meal.

.I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

My kids will want pizza if yours is having one.
So you chose but everyone is having the same thing.

Give up your burning desire to cook everyone a roast if they are going to be difficult or its causing you problems.

She can go to a pub and buy a roast.

.

OP you’re being all ‘hee hee’ and ‘lol’ about this but I think you’re actually being so so unkind.

He has autism and as you’ve said, will only it a very specific pizza. So, get over it.

And you’ve clarified that your issue is she opened the oven while yorkshires were in. So, obvious solution is to…I don’t know…maybe speak to her? Tell her you’re happy to cook the pizza but will take care of it at the appropriate time.

And as many other posters have said, serve all the kids pizza and adults roasts.

Honestly, it’s not ‘twee’ or funny that your nephew has this issue and you’re making it all about your Yorkshire puddings

Deary me .... can you find nothing else to worry about!?

i don’t have an autistic child, or in fact know any.

I love cooking and if my DH opened the oven whilst my Yorkshire’s were rising there’d be hell to pay

but neither of these things prevents me from knowing the OP is utterly unreasonable and unkind to boot.

I certainly wouldn’t open somebody’s oven but I would ask if you could do a pizza for my autistic child who would eat that and not a roast. He’s not being picky, it’s how it is as I know as a SN parent. In this case, I’d do roast for the adults and order in pizza for the kids so you don’t have to worry about that.

Your kids prefer roasts to pizza? Baffling... or just possibly different people like different things?

It seems to me a lot of people are missing the point here, it's not about the pizza per se, it's about OP's sister not telling the OP her intentions and brusquely opening the oven where the Yorkshires were cooking (definitely a capital crime, per pp) and shoving the pizza in. The rest, to do with the autistic child's cousins resenting his eating pizza whilst they are forced to have a roast, is irrelevant, really, as the OP can explain it to the other children beforehand if she is armed with the knowledge that this is going to happen again.
I would suggest @Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar has a chat with her sister about her nephew's needs beforehand, in order to avoid the potential destruction of the Yorkshire puds, which would clearly be a disaster, and find a way to cook the pizza elsewhere, or later. Do you have a microwave oven which has a convection cooking setting? If so, use that! Failing that, if you can cook pizza in an air-fryer, maybe invest in one of those!

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · Today 08:12

I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

I spilt my coffee laughing at this. These are the words of a narcissist - their visit has to be all about you.

I also cook epic roast dinners for the family. The only thing that would have bothered me is that she opened the oven door when the Yorkshire puddings were cooking. Just have the conversation in advance and say you will cook the pizza so that this doesn’t happen again. If it’s a small one it could get put in the oven once you take other things out. You can explain to your kids that their cousin is autistic surely?

Your kids prefer pizza to roasts?
Baffling.

Agreed

clearly op pissed off

but then making out it’s all a bit of a giggle

Your sister might have spoken to you about this first, but goodness me YABU

OP if your sister and nephew are visiting from the otherside of the world, you can make a roast and pizza 😂

Lower your expectations and take it in your stride. I find having a glass of wine helps.

Try and orchestrate it so that other family members entertain your DS and DN whilst you are cooking... far far away from the kitchen!

Good luck!!

You are sounding ridiculous @Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar . I too am a great cook, I don’t usually feel the need to blow my own trumpet but apparently you feel superior to others 🙄. Give all the kids pizza… it’s not hard - by using phrases like ‘chomping down’ you were being horrid and now back peddling about the yorkshires. Last time it was a surprise, this time you can plan and be organised in advance. Surely for such a kitchen whizz like yourself it really didn’t need a post to bitch about your sister and nephew to figure that one out?