To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

Oh the irony.

🤣

sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

As she should. You sound fucking horrible.

“Cooked with love”

…absolutely no love of cooking, the “perfect roast”, sister, nephew or, anything else .. shown by OP.

We should set the text of it to “Our Tune” and have Simon Bates read it out.

What a great auntie you are...
The childs Autistic ffs!

OP got angry with her sister for barging into her kitchen while she was busy cooking a lot of food for a lot of people, and helped herself to her oven without prior arrangement, disrupting the cooking process that she had spent hours on, and probably extra hours just planning.
Wow, some people are really highly strung.
Prior arrangement to pop a pizza in the oven.
I bet OP looked like she was chewing a wasp.
Threads like this, helps me appreciate my easy-going family.

Love when people say a roast is easy to make if full propper one it's not easy

These are people you rarely see and imo if youre hosting it is important to feed everyone what they love and not get hung up on everyone eating the same. I normally host Christmas and everyone likes different things so that's what I do.

If it was me I'd say let's do a pizza party for the kids (maybe order domino's or pizza hut) and I'll cook for the adults but if anyone opens my oven door or interferes with my kitchen, I'll stab them in the eye with the meat thermometer.

You love cooking roasts
They love eating your roasts

Can't you just leave it at that?

One jetlag autistic little kid, who's given a pizza (instead of requesting a completely different meal cooked by you!) to keep him happy and quiet. Is that such a big deal?

Tell your sister to NEVER open the oven because it ruins the food that's in it - when it's yorkshire or similar.

Focus on the compliments about your food, and be adult and a good host/ auntie about your nephew.

This could all be solved by "I'm going to put the yorkshires in the oven now, do you need me to put a pizza in too?"

No, OP wants everyone to eat the roast dinner.

Ohh that does make it tricky then - perhaps kids need to eat slightly before the adults

So OP orders in food for the other kids and his pizza could go in at same time as the roast potatoes for example, since they're not too smelly like the meats so wouldn't affect the taste of his pizza...

Best investment I've made for roasts and hosting large numbers of people is a combi microwave oven - I do all the roast veg in the microwave (using the oven/ air fryer setting). If OP has an appliance like this she could make her nephew's pizza in the microwave/airfryer without impacting her plans for the adult meal.

Ok @Cherrytree86 it was just a suggestion 😆 I would happily cook a roast for people at my house (and the OP seems lovely and it’s lovely doing things for other people because thats what normal and nice people do) but the whole point of the post…. So I was just thinking of alternatives. I will not make any further suggestions.

I’m sorry but if anyone opens the oven while I’m cooking Yorkshires then they are being cut from my life!

just let the kids have pizza and the adults have a roast, it’s one meal. BUT I would be having serious words with her about interfering with the oven when the Yorkshires are cooking

This is nonsense.

OP did not get angry with her sister for meeting her nephew's needs. OP got angry with her sister for barging into her kitchen while she was busy cooking a lot of food for a lot of people, and helped herself to her oven without prior arrangement, disrupting the cooking process that she had spent hours on, and probably extra hours just planning.
Sister could have just spoken to OP and OP would have been able to factor in something as simple as a pizza.

Someone else suggested that food is probably the OP's love language and I think that sounds spot on. It's important to her that everything is perfect. Just like when you throw a party for someone you love, or spend time picking the perfect Christmas present.

There's nothing here suggesting narcissism whatsoever.

Then it is clearly something you resent. Your sister lives so far away. You say you enjoy cooking a roast. Your nephew doesn't like a roast. Your children won't die without veg for one meal. It isn't hard.

Just let the kids have pizza all together as a treat.. tell sis to stay out of the kitchen.
Cook a fab roast for everyone else.
Why is this even being posted as problem for gods sake.

I like how you left out he was autistic until the end. Obviously you’re being unreasonable. He clearly has food sensitivities and pizza is his safe food. He’s already having a change of routine travelling I’m sure you can manage to let the poor kid eat. Maybe read up on autism / ARFID and sensory issues and support your sister and nephew.

I understand where you are coming from op. It is hard work cooking for a large number of people, the roast was specifically wanted by your sister and she opened the oven door at s tricky moment for your Yorkshire's. My take on this for this time would be ...yes, of course he can have pizza, but please wait until my Yorkshire's are out of the oven. If put in as your Yorkshires are coming out the pizza will be almost done by the time you are actually serving up. Mum quietly gets up and serves her son. Good host, good guest. 😄

OP's nephew will only eat a certain brand of oven pizza from the sounds of it so takeaway pizza will work for the other kids but not him.

okay helpful suggestion

talk to your sister. I have an autistic child with strong issues /phobias around food and can probably get anxious in these situations and make maybe a poor ddecision ie. not consider the other children present - I know that I have got annoyed in similar situations where the other parent has not considered my own kids

I think. this is a normal dilemma when serving up children with different parental approaches etc. Let's be charitable. because presumably you love your sister!! so you can think the best of her

She was so focused on her very anxious childs needs - and his inability to cope with new foods - that she behaved in a selfish way.

Just call her and say - sis, my children found it hard seeing nephew eat pizza, do you think we could find a solution so they don't need to see that while eating a roast.

OR - you sit your own kids down and say - hey, your cousin has real issues around food and is going to have pizza - we won't today but will do another day okay! and then lay on a lovely pudding.

Bloody hell what time did you eat lunch? Must have been very early.

Agree with pizza for kids and roast for adults.

I cook CHristmas dinner every year, and every year my mum tries to pop stuff in the kitchen when I'm dishing up and it gives me the rage. Dishing up is the most stressful time in the kitchen and is done in stages with v tight timings - so the last thing out of the oven (usually the Yorskhires while also doing the gravy on ths stove) is when we're ready to eat as everything else has already been "dished up" and put on the table.

OP just order pizza in for the kids and do a roast for the adults. I wouldn't want anyone messing around in my kitchen either - especially not to cook pizzas which require a lot of oven space.

You cannot claim to love feeding you family with food made with love when you get angry at your sister for letting her autistic child’s basic needs.

what the OP no doubts means is she loves basking in the glory of her “amazing roast” and god forbid anyone detracts from the perfection of the insta perfect spread by doing something that is a requirement.

I’ve never used the word narcissist in relation to a poster before but this is ringing ALL the bells!