Date’s messy house and not my style

🤣🤣🤣🤣

You sound bonkers tbh. I expect he may run away. 🏃🏻‍♂️

Has this man even said that he’d consider cohabitation in the future? Not all long-term relationships involve cohabiting, obviously, even if this dating progressed to a relationship.

It’s quite the presumption when you’ve just started dating someone to be assessing what they would be like to live with and their choice of furniture etc! Bunny boiler territory. And nobody likes people who are mean to bunnies.

Have you ever heard of “cognitive dissonance”?

Fucking hell, who left the reptile vivarium open today??

I find red flags about how a person chooses to live when they are single as valid as any other red flag. At this early stage OP is evaluating whether or not this person is worth dating. No matter how picky some women think she is being, this is the person who, potentially, she may choose to live with in the future. Of course the man will also be considering the issues which are important for him, which, obviously, in the case of a man are always life-changing, mature, considered reasons, such as whether her boobs are big enough or is she shaves her pubes.

OP, if some things about how he lives put you off, listen to your gut. If they already bother you now, they will bother you lots more if you end up being present in his place more often in the future.

If and when it becomes your home, probably.

I am still legally married to a man just like that. The man I compromised with over the decor.

Funny really that all the stuff that mattered so much to him when we were together is still in my house (and it is my house, thanks to legalities he has no claim on it) and he doesnt care about his stuff at all.

I think that my point still stands. That while its ok to have expectations of how life would be living together, its unrealistic to expect a man you are dating to live exactly how you do.

Surely the joy of creating a life together is the "meeting in the middle" bit? Sure it causes rows sometimes, but ultimately you both get a happy home.

Going in expecting Mr Perfect isnt going to work, which is why I said (and still say) that looking for a LTR with such strict ideals, is unlikely to work.

But is it his sense of style or is it left over from his previous relationship?

IME some guys just don’t care much for interior design and will happily live with things not-perfect/ a little shoddy.. that doesn’t mean they would make you live like that, in an ideal world if you ever moved in together you would come up with a joint style between you and learn to compromise on what is important.

if you don’t want to compromise then stay living by yourself.

you’ll soon find out through the normal dating process as to whether he is happy to compromise on things or if he is rigid in his thinking, if he’s a nice guy who makes you happy then give it a chance to get to know him properly before you write him off.

Between Red Ange and Trump Mark 2 in his turquoise suit today, then the weird posts on here tonight, I'm beginning to think I'm losing the plot.

Yes, it's possible the furniture was inherited, given or chosen by an ex for example.

If it goes long term have him move in with you.

I love my place. Partner will one day move in here.

You have taken "overthinking" and turned it into an art form!

He lives how he does be he doesnt need to consider anyone elses needs. As do you.

THe moment either of you starts to share their living space with another adult, thats when the compromise starts.

Sadly I dont think that you will find a long term partner if you go into it with such strict requirements at this early stage.

Why did your last relationship end?

When he actually asks you to move in with him until then his house his business.

Also way to find out his view without being too forward, insulting or jumping the gun. Screenshot things you like, as if you are thinking of a remodel in a room of your own house, say something around the lines of love this .... for my ... room, what do you think. May give you some more insite

So, it’s okay for you to be rigid about how a house is supposed to look, but someone else doing that is a “trigger point”?

lol so your dissing his taste ??? lol I think you need a reality check

But you are the one sounding very rigid about how your house should look now.
After his breakup and half the furniture leaving with the ex, he probably took that opportunity to express his personal taste while he lives alone.
I done similar after a break up many years ago, couldn't express too much due to funds, but there was a lot of pink flying around until I got it out of my system 😂
If you get that far then discussions can be left until further down the line about how you would merge styles

Why don’t you discuss this with him? It might be that he doesn’t think his furniture is beautiful, he might have been given it. He might not care about furniture at all and be more than happy for you to buy what you like. Or he might find your thoughts on the subject or your taste repellent and want nothing more to do with you. But it would solve your dilemma