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Original poster

To think our wedding might be massive failure?!

282 replies

Nervousb2b · 05/09/2025 20:17

Hey guys, name change for this...

Will our wedding in a few weeks be a total disaster? The plan for the day:

  1. A morning, Christian ceremony in a rural village church with around 40 adults and 10 children. Our two children will also be in attendance (our DD is only 18 months, very clingy and will likely need to walk down the aisle with me...)

  2. A 40 minute drive to a rural pub located in the middle of a national park

  3. A sit down, relatively casual 2 course meal there (I think a few people want to say a few words but we haven't planned for it as such)

  4. A 20 minute drive to the final venue where guests who are staying will be with us. It has wild swimming in a natural lake, fire pits, hot tubs, and we've got a pizza van coming for evening food and alcohol will be there for when we arrive.

  5. No music is allowed at the final venue (eeeeek). We aren't party animals and I want an early night due to small children, so I'm hoping this might work in our favour? Or is it really boring?!

  6. For the following morning I have arranged for a caterer to come and provide breakfast, leaving for 10:00.

Does this sound okay to you? We are really panicking that it'll be a bit crap due to multiple venues, driving, children and no real plan!!!

EDIT:

You are being unreasonable - it will be fine
You are not being unreasonable - crikey, what a terrible plan that is

OP posts:
Ansjovis · 05/09/2025 20:53

As others have said, it sounds like a lot of moving about and I don't think I would find that sort of schedule comfortable as a guest. And I don't drink alcohol so that's not a consideration for me. If this were my wedding I'd also be worried that the breaks would ruin the atmosphere. I agree with everyone who has said to organise transport if you can, this would go some way towards minimising the atmosphere disruption and would mean that guests don't have to worry about drinking as they wouldn't be driving.

That said, I presume that all of your guests know what the plan is and they've still RSVPed yes? Then that's all you need to know - some of them might be a bit daunted by all the moving about but the most important thing for them is getting to celebrate with you.

Waitingfordoggo · 05/09/2025 20:53

Re wild swimming in September and whether it would be cold…I’m not a wild swimmer (or even a pool swimmer in the Med!) but lots of friends are into it and I gather autumn can often have the best water temps as the water has had all summer to warm up.

Myhairissopoofy · 05/09/2025 20:52

The individual elements sound lovely, but that’s a lot of driving for guests!

Original poster
Nervousb2b · 05/09/2025 20:52

beeautifullif3 · 05/09/2025 20:49

So 3 venues ? I absolutely could not be bothered with all that tbh

Ay, I hear you.

Thankfully because it's small, all of our guests really REALLY love us so my hope is that they're gonna bother with it.

However, in a parallel universe I'd so much rather it be all in one place! So thanks for your comment - I understand your perspective.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2025 20:51

Can you not organise a coach to sort the travel issue out for your guests OP?

StrongandNorthern · 05/09/2025 20:50

Sounds amazing.
If it was a 'disaster' ( which it won't be) ... better it's the wedding than the marriage!

Idstillratherbepaddleboarding · 05/09/2025 20:49

This reply has been withdrawn

Post withdrawn at author's request

beeautifullif3 · 05/09/2025 20:49

So 3 venues ? I absolutely could not be bothered with all that tbh

InsolentAnnie · 05/09/2025 20:47

This sounds amazing!! Wish I could have done it for ours, we’d both have loved that!

LaurieFairyCake · 05/09/2025 20:47

It sounds absolutely lovely 🥰

Original poster
Nervousb2b · 05/09/2025 20:46

MouseMama · 05/09/2025 20:44

I think it sounds lovely but I’d organise transport between the venues and line something up to take people back to their vehicles after breakfast in the morning. I’d also look to organise a silent disco if you think your guests would enjoy that. It does sound like a lovely day.

A silent disco is a really good idea!

OP posts:
twilightermummy · 05/09/2025 20:45

I've never been married but I think that your day sounds so beautiful. I've been to weddings where there's been a lot of hanging around with no food but you've thought of what's needed every step of the way. It sounds really fun. How lovely that your daughter may go down the aisle with you!
Come back and let us know how you got on 😊

Original poster
Nervousb2b · 05/09/2025 20:45

Wow, a real mixed bag here. Thanks for the opinions on it.

Thankfully, the group of people coming are all pretty outdoorsy and not overly into alcohol so I'm hopeful that those issues won't be too problematic.

The children are from outdoorsy parents and the pub has a lovely outdoor area too, so I reckon that'll provide enough entertainment! Thankfully the meal won't go on for over 2 hours anyway.

But yes, number one negative is probably driving and I can see that. Like someone else said, I'm personally okay with it as lots of people overwhelm me and I'll enjoy the breather but I can see that it would be irritating for others.

OP posts:
MouseMama · 05/09/2025 20:44

I think it sounds lovely but I’d organise transport between the venues and line something up to take people back to their vehicles after breakfast in the morning. I’d also look to organise a silent disco if you think your guests would enjoy that. It does sound like a lovely day.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 05/09/2025 20:41

I dunno, is anyone going to be wild swimming at the last location? What time of day will it be? People like to get dressed up for a wedding but you're telling them to get in their cossies for swimming / hot tub? In front of lots of other guests? And no music feels like it'd be completely flat. People like a bit of structure.

Alwayslurkingsometimesposting · 05/09/2025 20:40

I would enjoy the driving breaks and early night if I was invited- weddings are so intense and stressful for introverts like me. Your day sounds lovely!

writingsonthewall · 05/09/2025 20:40

Generally sounds lovely. At the final venue is it all music banned or just live band/DJ type music? Would be nice to have some low background music

northernlightnights · 05/09/2025 20:40

All the driving would put me off... It means half the guests can’t drink at the first pub stop. No music means everyone has to rely solely on conversation to keep the evening going. That’s a lot of pressure on people. Presumably also no entertainment if no music? How do you plan on keeping 10 kids entertained in a pub? Second venue with open water and fire pits also not exactly child friendly …. 20% of the guests are children?

Realistically unless half the guests are part of a wild swimming club can’t imagine anyone wanting to do that in October who have never done it before.
it sounds chilled and nice on paper but realistically I think a lot of guests may find it a bit underwhelming - are you covering all the costs of lunch, dinner and the overnight venue?

mediummumma · 05/09/2025 20:40

It sounds like it will be a wonderful day. If I were a guest there’s no part of what you’ve described that I wouldn’t enjoy, and I think the different venues will make it a really memorable and different-in-a-good-way wedding. I hope you enjoy every minute.

And I’d expect to get myself from A to B under my own steam so I wouldn’t give that part a second thought.

Drivingmissrangey · 05/09/2025 20:38

Sounds bloody lovely to me. Although I wouldn’t volunteer to be designated driver, but with that many people there are bound to be enough willing drivers.

Original poster
Nervousb2b · 05/09/2025 20:38

For those commenting on the weather, I completely see your point.

Thankfully it is in less than 2 weeks so I'm hoping September will be kind?! Just tried to keep it vague for anonymity.

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 05/09/2025 20:37

I will be perfectly honest, it would put me off having to do all that transport myself and not having music at a party is just odd to me

Amba1998 · 05/09/2025 20:37

Fine if you are providing transport. I’d want wine with meal and to then not drive to final venue. Can you not even have music on low on a personal speaker?

andfinallyhereweare · 05/09/2025 20:36

It’s not for me, I couldn’t have no music but if it’s what you want? Sure. I’ve been to all sorts of weddings and loved some, didn’t love others so much. It’s up to what you want really.

Original poster
Nervousb2b · 05/09/2025 20:36

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 05/09/2025 20:30

Am thinking shepherd's huts/wooden cabins/old buses?
As long as have roof, a real bed, warm and a proper bathroom, who could complain?

Show quote history

Aww.

Yeah, so it's a very large country house (old but very modern, stylish inside, all with en suites, huge kitchen, snug, etc - so space if the weather is shite!).

Then we also have some luxury "safari pods" overlooking the hills.

It's all tucked into a valley in the national park and is 10 minutes to the North Devon coast.

Thanks so much for the lovely, relieving responses. Also thanks for the skeptical ones - they're helpful in order to brave myself for potential spanners in the works/complaints!

OP posts: