DH is annoyed because I didn't call him while I was away overnight for family funeral.

ridiculous if he wanted to talk or check you were ok he could have rang you. He’s complaining for the sake of it.

Completely agree. “I was worried sick that you might have died!!!”

uh-huh? Is that right? 🙄

I don’t buy this for a second and it’s exactly the kind of crap that was said to me in an abusive relationship. Normal people don’t react this way, especially when they are well aware their partner was on a tight schedule for a funeral of all bloody things.

I feel sorry for anyone defending this behaviour. I remember this shit from my previous relationship and how I would end up convinced I was the one in the wrong. I wonder what other crappy behaviour these posters think is normal.

For lots of reasons I don't think you were unreasonable. When I was married a family funeral took place miles away and during a train strike and as a non-driver had to take a very long coach ride across the country. My then husband didn't bother me once which I thought was very normal. I can't be doing with neediness. It's not attractive.

Not your fault he didn't look at WhatsApp.

It's very telling that despite apparently being convinced that the OP was dead 🙄her husband couldn't even be bothered to try and contact her or any of the family members she was with, some of whom he would likely have contact details for.

It also puzzles me that people think that just because their routine is to message after a long drive or that they would like to speak to their husband before bed that it automatically means everyone else should. Even if the OP and her husband usually did message each other (which doesn't appear to be the case), the OP was owed all the consideration and slack as she was attending a family funeral and the onus was on him to contact her if he was worried. It's also likely that the OP wasn't rushing to phone him after a long and stressful day, as he doesn't seem to be the sort of partner that would offer her much support.

She was running late for a funeral after a long drive and sent a picture to get them know she had arrived safely. Why would she need to call as well and be running even later.
If my DH was away for a funeral I'd be the one sending him a message telling him I was thinking of him and hoping he was doing OK- not getting in a snitch because he hadn't called me. But I'm not a whiny man baby.

Depends on what is the norm for you I guess? DH and I would ring or message in that situation so for me not to would be a bit unusual. DH would then just text me though, checking all was well and to ask how the funeral went and I’d probably call him on the drive home. But if that level of contact isn’t the norm for you, then he’s being a bit odd. Plus, like pps said, he could have called you himself?

He’s being unreasonable. You were at a funeral. DH and I go away separately a fair bit and sometimes send the odd message but wouldn’t bother ringing.

If i was stuck in work with no phone and came out hours later and checked my phone and there was no "safely off road" message i"d be worried to hell.

If it was a funeral I wouldn't ring because who wants phones going off at a sensitive time.

I think you're wrong to not consider that someone who cares about you might worry.

And I think if you had time to post on a group chat you had the extra 5 seconds spare to message him directly. All it needs is about 2 words and an xxx, and it's sort of insulting to him that you didn't think to do that.

I think you should apologise but it does kinda depend upon your family rules. Do you expect him to stay in contact if he goes away for the weekend, or are you happy with prolonged radio silence??

I go away regularly it wouldn’t enter my mind to message in these situations nor would I expect him to message. He could have messaged you ?
Why are people so needy?

Depends what relationship or how close you are probably. But I would never go for a long drive and not call hubby or him call me to see if all are safe and sound lol

I would go mad if this level of communication was required of me

Jesus, that's bonkers to me.

An overreaction from the husband but It’s obviously a pattern and that your DH feels neglected.

It’s common courtesy for the travelling partner to message your partner when you have a spare moment.

It is not the text per se, but the emotional connection that text conveys.

Would you really stay outside a church, while your parents go in, to text someone who hasn't got their phone with them anyway?
This is the downside of mobiles. When I'm travelling without my DP I WA a few pictures. Until I have downtime to talk. My adult children post on FB, or WA them, so I know they are alive.

Poor him. He felt all annoyed that he wasn’t a priority in your thoughts when you had all this to deal with.

Whenever me and DH are away from each other for the night we'll send a quick text either to say we've arrived or goodnight, no need to ring.

You sent a message to the family WhatsApp group, it's not your fault he didn't see it or think to check before going to bed.

Maybe he felt a bit stupid as the kids replied and he didn't.

Given the circumstances even if he was annoyed at the time, he should be able to let it go, not create an atmosphere.

He sounds like a baby. Is he always so needy?

So he’s cross that you didn’t text him, but he didn’t text you. Erm… does he really not see the double standard there? You’re the one that’s been to a funeral and he’s complaining that you’re not considering his feelings enough? Much as I want to say I’d be cross with him, I think a nice calm conversation would be the better approach. It’s often not easy to call in these situations, sometimes your timings just don’t match up, he needs to check his messages. Not worth falling out over, just agree a plan for next time. Sorry for your loss.

You posted a picture of the hotel room??
you could have called.

No you are not wrong and shouldn’t apologise. He sounds totally self absorbed. For goodness sake you have been to a funeral. Where is his empathy? You sent a whats app and he could have messaged if he was really worried but it sounds like he was just bothered you went and did something without him. He is either needy or passively aggressive making sure you know he is displeased you went away on a family event and didn’t give him a second thought. Why would you? You were focused on your dead relative and catching up with family. He sounds selfish and needy. How pathetic.

He had sent you 10 messages enquiring about your still being alive? No? Phones works both ways... you were the one travelling and attending a funeral.

I think this sounds like a headfuck.

cos you did contact him, and when you said ‘why didn’t you get in touch if you were worried’ he said ‘you were posting on FB’ once again making you sound like your priorities are out of whack but …no you weren’t. That’s deflection, once again to make you sound a prick. He seriously doesn’t know how FB works? And if he saw a post he wasn’t thinking you were dead in a ditch at all. And apparently he doesn’t read WhatsApp messages? Only valid communication with this guy = communiqués directly addressed to him?

Obviously is nice to be nice and sure we have all apologised for a quiet life before but I think he’s at it. If he’s not at it, why doesn’t he just leave it? Does he think you were away having a lovely time without him 😬

Your “D”H need to get a bloody grip.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Both of you could have communicated better tbh.

My dh was away for a funeral months ago, he called me on the way to his home town (10 ish hour trip) when he arrived and before he went to bed and again in the morning. Mostly just to say hey I'm still alive and how are you and the kids getting on and would talk to the kids for a bit.