Newish relationship - Waking me up.

As a one off, fine. But doing it again? Nah, chuck him back.

I personally would be furious. No one comes between me and my kip! I think he sounds thoughtless TBH. I also worry that when he woke you, saying he could hear someone having sex that he was horny and wanted to wake you to DTD as it were .

I struggle to get to sleep and stay asleep! Anyone waking me up after I’ve explained how much I need my sleep will be out the door!! You’re not overreacting at all! At best your partner’s behaviour is completely selfish.

I read an article once that said the things that annoy you at the start of a relationship are the reasons it ends. Maybe cut out the middle part and find someone who actually cares about your health!

@isitoverreacting
Why the hell is a new partner staying over when your kid is there? Why have they even met? Not only that, but they’re actually going into your child’s bedroom. Are you even thinking?

What is it with single mums losing all sense and responsibility when there is the chance of a shag?

I’m a single mum. My boyfriend didn’t meet my kids until I’d been with him for 16 months. He didn’t stay overnight with them in the house until about 19 months. You’re in a new relationship, and this person is sleeping over and letting themselves into your child’s bedroom. Have you even taken a minute to consider the privacy, dignity and safety that your child deserves?

I wouldn't want someone I was dating walking into my child's bedroom.

Why? Does the gender of the partner make the slightest bit of bloody difference to the advice she should be given?

“Thick skinned” means something completely different to someone being “thick”

I would give him the ultimatum of one more time you needlessly wake me up (only life or death situations allowed) we are over.

If it’s not deliberate then I couldn’t tolerate the stupidity, so either way it would end.

You would wake her and her child up to ask her ?! Even though she told him about ex?!
It Is thick behaviour.

This is such an important point. Don't share your previous abuse with others until they have earned the right to know about it by enduring consistent considerate behaviour towards you.

Lack of consideration also shows a lack of empathy - the inability to put yourself in someone else's shoes. I need considerably less sleep than most people, but since I have empathy, I am careful to not wake others when I am awake. It's the basics of being a considerate person.

OP, your partner is inconsiderate. If you want to try to educate them on the basics of human behaviour, then give it one go. Tell them you cannot be in a relationship with someone who wakes you up, even if they say it is unintentional (because you have no way of getting in their head to know if it is unintentional or not).

If they wake you up again, you know they do not care enough about you to comply with a perfectly reasonable request. Be done with them.

Why give him another chance ?!?! He doesn’t deserve it

He’s already had enough chances, starting with OP telling him how her ex admitted to waking her up as he didn’t want her to get rest.
GET RID! No need to speak to him. Just Block him with no explanation.

I have been with 2 guys like this. My child’s father used to Purposely wake me up after no sleep with our child it was controlling and awful and the second was a selfish night owl that would just start a conversation with me when I was asleep and it’s the most annoying thing. I stopped letting him stay then stopped staying at his and it fizzled. I have a 12 year
old and she is not a baby but still have to be up and about with her and with work on top i am not having anyone spoil my luxury of sleep.

Poor child, mother left her abusive father and now another abusive man staying over.
You don't know him from adam, yet he is staying over?
Walking into your childs room?
Talk about your priorities being messed up.
You need to get rid of this loser, heal and educate yourself, and put yours and your child's safety first.
Poor child.

He didn't just check she was ok though. He/she sat on the bed and nudged her awake! The appropriate thing to do would be to close the door quietly, go downstairs, make a cuppa and occupy themselves quietly.

Far, far to needy imo. They should have had the emotional bandwidth to stay away for the 3 days, knowing op would be working long hours and juggling caring for her child.

I would make it clear (again), that if it happens again the relationship is over.

He's either completely thoughtless and clueless or knows exactly what he's doing (abusive).

I'd send him packing. You don't need either type in your life.

This. Especially as the child is still young enough to be up through the night, and the previous relationship was abusive.

Came here just to post the same.

Being thoughtless is reason enough to end this.

It is. Someone waking someone else up is not, on its own, abusive. If it’s a pattern of behaviour then it’s a different story. In this particular example it could be that the man is being thoughtless (and irritating) and it could be worth to have a serious conversation about boundaries before throwing out abuse accusations.

If you do think he's thoughtless, why carry on? Find a partner who is thoughtful. You don't need this one. Good luck.

At best you're with someone who is thoughtless to the point of actually doing something that you've made clear is upsetting for you. At worst he is fucking with your head and/or testing your boundaries. Life is too short and sleep is too important for this shit.

I’d break up with him / her / they / them. They sound annoying and thoughtless.

I think we are actually all aligned.

It is okay for OP’s new partner to get it wrong - especially checking she was okay at 07:00 when she wasn’t in bed. He meant well, and perhaps hadn’t fully comprehended what had happened overnight as he was asleep.

I think we all agree that if clear communication has taken place and the issue is now not resolved that is the point it could become problematic.

He had been a thoughtless oaf and you deserve better than this. As you say you are on different pages about other things. Sit him down, tell him straight that to function you have to have your sleep. Unless the house is on fire. A decent guy will be mortified -at having misunderstood. Give him a month and if things don’t radically improve on all fronts get rid. Commenting on the neighbours is immature and massive ick anyway.