Newish relationship - Waking me up.

I don't know anyone like the op. The people I have around me are reasonable people. They put their children first. People like the op I tend to avoid like the plague. I wouldn't even entertain her kids playing with mine. The op is allowing him to stay the night around her children and all she cares about is her sleep. Her daughter was unsettled for a reason and all she's worried about is her sleep. It's a man she is seeing so she doesn't know him well is wandering around her house at 7am while her children is asleep, and she's complaining about being woken up. Are you sure you want to keep on tagging me for answers? You don't sound reasonable yourself.

Please please stop gas lighting the OP!!

Damn, you're pretty judgy. Be careful lest you fall off your pedestal.

Sorry! That's to the person you responded to about "lust". What a ding dong.

Oh hun, these are normal bouts of waking you up. I think the trauma of your previous relationship color's these events. Please, please go see a trauma informed therapist! ❤️

But why was it ok for him to wake OP up at 7.30am? Why would you have done the same thing?! You still aren’t answering the question...
Also, you are saying that you’re not a “NORMAL person” if you don’t go straight back to sleep after being rudely woken up by someone ? Especially when you’ve told them you don’t like it?

This is the second relationship she has had around her children. What do you think is going on in their minds. "Another one in the house" her DD might be scared of him and that's why she wasn't settled all night. I would have told him to go home.

Just stop. Single mothers can have relationships without involving the kids. She doesn’t have to give up her own romantic life in order to put her kids first.

She just needs to separate them.

Oh aren't you sooooooo KIND only saying the OP is 'too delicate' and not saying something A LOT WORSE?! 🙄

Ludicrous comment. She is NOT delicate. She is understandably pissed off at the inconsiderate arsehole she is with waking her up when he feels like it, for shits and giggles. I would go fucking postal if my DH did this. He'd only do it once.

.

I am being kind I can say a lot worse. She shouldn't be in a relationship she needs to put her children first. They need their safe space back.

She isn’t too delicate. She’s just been an idiot and put lust ahead of being a responsible parent.

She is far too delicate? WTF?

This is why I always think it’s a bad idea to be so open with a new partner about what happened in your previous relationship, especially if there was abuse. Now he knows exactly how to mistreat you OP and this is likely to get worse over time.

She shouldn't be she is far too delicate and it will affect her children. Of course single mums can be in relationship's but do it responsibly.

She has children they come first. Why didn't the op ask him to leave? I am guessing he woke her up at 7:30am normal people would talk about it and then ask them to leave and go straight back to sleep. Op should not be in a relationship she is far too delicate. Her children will be affected.

She can be both a mother and in a relationship. There just shouldn’t be any crossover for many many many months. The issue here is that OP has a new relationship and is already having them stay over with her child in the house and the person actually goes into her child’s bedroom as well, which is even worse.

The op shouldn't be in a relationship she should be a mother. Her decision's are or will affect her children.

She fell asleep at 7am he woke her up at 7:30am. The op should have explained what happened and asked him to go home. The op needs to take responsibility for herself and her children. She should have asked him to go home. I feel sorry for her children and what they have to put up with.

But OPs response isn’t irrational nor an overreaction … so why are you gaslighting her ?! He has done it knowing OPs issues with her ex. And if he didn’t know the issues , which he did , then he is still behaving wrongly & should be dumped.

But why would you also wake OP & her child to check on her because you are worried ??!!
You have not responded to my question but changed the subject…

Excusing him? Ffs he woke someone up, I'm sure you have done the same in your life, would you be ok being called abusive or being dumped for this? This person has nothing to do with her exs abuse. If you woke a new partner up and he started shouting or crying and then posting it online you'd say he was abusive too I'm sure. The Ops overreaction is because of her sleep issues and her history, that's the important context for her irrational behaviour. The new partner is not the problem, if he continues to do it knowing the OPs issues then yes it becomes a problem but blaming someone for another person's reaction now at the start of a relationship is ridiculous.

But you were justifying the partner waking her up 'to check she was ok'. What does any of what you've said after that point have to do with the justification for waking her up?

Bin him.
No normal person does that.
Your attracting weirdos.

She has him sleeping next door around her children. You don't know what trauma her child has suffered. The op needs to take responsibility and not allow men stay in her child's home. Let them have their safe space back.

“Hey, person I’m seeing - I’m off to bed now. Dont wake me!”
If they then wake you, it’s not just thoughtless, it’s downright disrespectful and antagonistic.

God knows. ‘They’ is just ridiculous. Or are you seeing two people?