Newish relationship - Waking me up.

He didnt know she had a long night he was asleep.

You can reason with most people

The op has only brought up 2 occasions with the man she has been seeing for a year. You can't reason with some people.

It's not remotely normal if the person doing the waking is a competent adult capable of taking care of themselves. Normal if you're talking about being woken by a young child or someone with the emotional awareness and competence of a young child, yes.

Being annoyed by a competent independent adult waking you up for absolutely no reason when they know that you are tired and have had a broken night and you've told them that you find it hard to get back to sleep if woken - that's a very normal emotional response.

Oh hun, these are normal bouts of waking you up. I think the trauma of your previous relationship color's these events. Please, please go see a trauma informed therapist! ❤️

I didn't phrase this well.
I wasn't calling him thick as in lacking in intelligence.

I meant if it was just thoughtlessness then he must be impervious to being told something and it has to be repeated several times before it gets through their layer of self absorption.

I didn't think it was thoughtlessness. I think after that many explainations and requests he did it on purpose.

“Thick skinned” means something completely different to someone being “thick”

Don’t tell new partners about previous partner’s abuse tactics. No details are required, just it didn’t work/they weren’t nice.

I don’t think you should have the new partner round on work nights or around your DC yet. Especially if you have a niggling feeling they might be abusive. New relationships are supposed to be fun, this arrangement sounds tedious and unfulfilling.

That’s your opinion. Others are equally valid

You are in no position to know this

What about OP being gaslighted by PP? Why do you keep changing subject?

Oh hun, these are normal bouts of waking you up. I think the trauma of your previous relationship color's these events. Please, please go see a trauma informed therapist! ❤️

It is. Someone waking someone else up is not, on its own, abusive. If it’s a pattern of behaviour then it’s a different story. In this particular example it could be that the man is being thoughtless (and irritating) and it could be worth to have a serious conversation about boundaries before throwing out abuse accusations.

It’s not thoughtlessness, it’s a “I don’t care how tired you are, my need to talk to you is greater than your need to sleep”! Fuck him off because he has no respect for you or your child

What about her children

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or just hyper aware due to my past relationship.

My ex partner used to deliberately stop me from going to sleep. I’m aware it was one of the abuse tactics used along with many others. At the end of the relationship they admitted that they had done that deliberately because they hated to see me rest.

I’ve been seeing someone for just over a year. They know about this part of my last relationship because I have told them.

The new person I’m seeking is often telling me that I work really hard and that I need more rest and sleep.

A few weeks ago, DC was up in the night so I was up with her and it takes me a long time to get back to sleep. I eventually did. Both me and DC was asleep in her room after being up most of the night.

we finally got to sleep at 7am!
soon after, the person I’m seeing came in the room and nudged me awake saying “heh, you ok?”

I was fuming inside. Thinking “why on earth have you woke me up?!”
then DC also woke up. When this happened my partner stood up and said “I’ll let you go back to sleep then”. I said that’s highly unlikely to happen considering both me and DC were now awake

so I basically explained that I’ve been up all night and that I was in DCs room Trying to get her back to sleep and so that I didn’t disturb my partner. I was annoyed to be woken up for absolutely no reason at all.

Anyway, last week, The person I’m seeing stayed over at my house. I got into bed and explained I’m absolutely exhausted. I’ve been working really long days and I was completely and utterly shattered. So I said I need to go to sleep because I’ve got a banging headache and my eyes are stinging because I’m so exhausted. I fell asleep only to be woken up half an hour later by my partner saying “ I think I can hear someone having sex next door” And laughing about it. Again, I was really annoyed because once I wake up, it takes me about two hours to get back to sleep sometimes

I said there is no chance someone’s having sex next door. And it could be the TV or something. But I don’t see it as a reason to wake me up.

i’m aware that I could be completely overreacting with this and I’m hoping it’s not going to happen again. I’d like to think not because I explained that I really need my sleep and when I’m woken up, I can’t get back to sleep.

I don’t think it’s malicious either. I think it’s just a case of not thinking.

Please please stop gas lighting the OP!!

YABU in that you keep deflecting and not answering the question. Here it is again.

But why was it ok for him to wake OP up at 7.30am? Why would you have done the same thing?! You still aren’t answering the question...
Also, you are saying that you’re not a “NORMAL person” if you don’t go straight back to sleep after being rudely woken up by someone ? Especially when you’ve told them you don’t like it?

Damn, you're pretty judgy. Be careful lest you fall off your pedestal.

Sorry! That's to the person you responded to about "lust". What a ding dong.

I don't know anyone like the op. The people I have around me are reasonable people. They put their children first. People like the op I tend to avoid like the plague. I wouldn't even entertain her kids playing with mine. The op is allowing him to stay the night around her children and all she cares about is her sleep. Her daughter was unsettled for a reason and all she's worried about is her sleep. It's a man she is seeing so she doesn't know him well is wandering around her house at 7am while her children is asleep, and she's complaining about being woken up. Are you sure you want to keep on tagging me for answers? You don't sound reasonable yourself.

Damn, you're pretty judgy. Be careful lest you fall off your pedestal.

Sorry! That's to the person you responded to about "lust". What a ding dong.