Hello, long time lurker and first time poster here.
I really need some advice and suggestions please as I value the honesty and experience of Mumsnet users.
DH and I have been together for 3.5 years, married for 6 months. We do not live together due to family/work commitments. This would likely change within 5 or so years as children grow up. We always knew our marriage living arrangement would be this way for the short term due to commitments I have mentioned.
This morning, DH arrived to take me to a hospital appointment for a local anaesthetic procedure. Appointment was 12.30pm. He suggested he arrive to collect me at 11.30am but I had saud 11am please as I had worked back a d thought 90 mins more time to get to hospital, find a car park space, locate the correct ward etc. I have high blood pressure so wanted to stay as relaxed as possible before the procedure. He agreed 11am and mentioned he would do some work earlier that morning in a location between his house and mine.
So far so good.
This morning, sent his usual good morning text and I responded in usual manner. Took my dd aged 14 to school then returned home for some breakfast and played Solitaire to help keep me calm.
He messages at 1.56am to say hes out waiting in the car and I reply saying I'd be out in a tick.
When I got in the car, I told him politely I thought he'd have come to the house. He then said that "I was keen to let him know I wanted him there for 11am and no earlier". He then said he'd arrived at 10am and had sat outside and said he was thinking, I could go to him! I was flabbergasted at this as this was furtherest from the truth. I said I'd said 11am as I knew he was working earlier and to give him time to get from A to B esp with traffic being busy. He said then that this is not what I made it sound like. I was very upset that he'd insinuated he wasn't wanted and I got very worked up before my procedure.
Long story short, procedure went smoothly but I am astounded that he said this...and not just because it was when I was on my way to a hospital procedure! He had ample time to tell me he felt this at an earlier date but did not.
I will say, I have noticed that the change of seasons from summer do have a negative affect on his mood.
I have also noticed tgat he can get "funny" if it seems like I'm spending more time than usual with my children or messaging other people on WhatsApp more than him.
I am also far more of a hands on parent with my 2 daughters than him with his dd. Note, his dd has learning needs and stays with him for 2 weekends each month. I do not set this arrangement and I actively encourage him to talk more to his dd and even his ex re his dd's progress but he feels the least contact he has with his ex, the better. I disagree though esp when it comes to his dd's progress etc!
(All the above he would vehemently deny though).
So.....very long story....I need to know, AIBU in feeling utterly hacked off with DH attitude? BTW there was no apology or remorse for what was said nor for making me clearly very upset in run up to my procedure?
Or...AINBU given the Times were organised before hand. He had suggested an even LATER pick up time so I dont get where this is coming from atall if I'm totally honest!
Thank you to all who got this far and thank you for your honesty x