To hate having my kids together?

mine are 16 & 19.. and they STILL bicker/argue.

My usual go-to is to tell them to be somewhere the other isn't if they can't 'play nice' or leave each other alone in the same room.

I know that's harder with 2/5yo, but if the 5yo has some other safe space to play, i'd send them there, or make them sit at opposite ends of the room with backs to each other.

It is rough.. and i'm afraid it does not improve.

I will add that i'm 44, and my older brother is 48.. and our 72yo mother still has to tell the two of us to stop bickering with each other when we're together.. no-one knows how to needle/annoy the fuck out of you like your sibling. We love each other dearly, but we also still like to wind each other up entirely on purpose.

Mine bicker all the time, though they can also play nicely together. They are 8 and 10, I'm thinking of not going to our home in London next summer ( just us 3) as they fight so much, one at a time would be much easier.

Mine are older than yours (also further apart than yours, which has its pros and cons) and I really hear you, but also I have found it does get LOADS better - with age, with practice, with patience, with better work from me to balance each of their (ever evolving!) needs.

It is exhausting, particularly when it's the same shit over and over (my DC1 has always been a massive space invader and I'm like - why are you getting in her space REPEATEDLY, when she consistently shows you she hates it, and when you then think she's so annoying?! She was leaving you alone until that point!! It's like a moth to a flame sometimes....). BUT for increasing periods, it's also the most heartwarming thing. Some of DC1's friends have been onlies, and throughout middle childhood I looked with slight envy at what those families could do without a smaller child (more money, freedom from toilet trips and tired legs and bickering and working out how to keep things interesting for two different ages). I don't feel that at all any more - I wouldn't swap, mine have built-in playmates as long as they remember how to behave, and in a small family the quality (for now!) of the relationship and the love and acceptance they share feels so valuable. We're a team.

I do still really enjoy the relative ease of having one at a time though! It's just nice being able to move between different configurations and enjoy them all, now.

LOL, absolutely this!

Oh yes! Mine are 13 & 4. I love taking my son out and I love taking my daughter out. SEPARATELY.
Together it is more than twice the work of just one.

I have decided that in parent world 1+1=5

The relationship they are building is one of the most important, foundational ones they will have.
You have to let them develop it

I could've written this myself, I have exactly the same problems with mine who are the same age! No advice but solidarity!

You’ve described my 2 almost perfectly, 6 and 3 soon to be 7 and 4. Older boy always getting in younger sisters face, annoying her, picking up etc. sister copies everything he does even if dangerous for her age… I’m at a loss but just know you are not alone

I just googled this and felt so relieved to see someone else feeling the same
it makes me feel so guilty but I really hate mine together, days out are never fun. Being in the same room is never fun. They are lovely individuals but together, just no 😪

Truthfully my best advice is don't have a 3rd.

It makes me sad how my 3 get on so badly. We cannot have a nice family day out the 4 of us. It's been up and down over the years but is getting worse not better as the middle one used to be so chilled and easy which helped, but now she's entered the grumpy teenage stage. The other 2 have always been highly strung. Individually they're fine and some combinations of 2 of them. Currently between 10 and 17.

Take solace from the sisterhood OP.
You are not alone

Eugh same. Love my kids both so much and really enjoy their company on a 1:1 basis. When they’re together they just bicker, purposely annoy each other, hurt each other, take the others things etc. it’s so draining and just constantly irritating. Mine are two boys 9 and 4 yrs. been this way since the youngest could walk 😂

Mine are 11 and 8 and it's just starting to get a bit better. Still a lot of fighting, but not constant.

Mine are 11 and 8 and are total pains in the backsides.

This was me last summer, I was so relieved when school started again! Honestly, they have been much better this summer at 6 and (almost) 3, it was at times even delightful. DS1 is more understanding of the age difference, DS2 is more able to actually play. I have found that DS1 really needs a break though and time with his peers, so he's had a few holiday club days which I think have really helped him. Last summer was awful though, so bad.

Do they play nicely together at all? Mine are older now (10 and 7 and can play nicely for ages although still occasionally bicker / wind each other up / totally explode at easy other). But even at 5 and 2 played nicely… that was our covid lockdown so maybe it forced them but I remember loads of or seriously awesome play (and a fair amount of bickering too)

I saw a reel today that said “having a sibling is good because you learn how far you can annoy another person before they kill you”

My sister and I fought, a lot. As teenagers we were best friends, and still are now. My mum just used to leave us to it. As long as we weren’t killing each other, she let us sort out our own shit. If we got loud we were told to take it outside.

This is partly why I only had one. As an only child myself, I have no idea how to manage arguing siblings and the sound of it drives me mad.

Side note- when I said it gets better..... my eldest is 17. I'm sorry! I didn't realise they were so young. My eldest and middle daughter have the same age gap as your children OP.
Mine played OK together when they were little but once my eldest got to about 11... things went downhill! Hopefully since they are younger it will get better sooner.

3 and 5 is still really hard work too i think. Maybe they will balance it out by being amazing teenagers?!

Mine are 7 and 9 and fight a lot. It is draining.

Does it get better? My 13 year old and 11 year old fight all the time 🙄 I read this thinking they were around the same age 😂