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Original poster

extreme anxiety and depression following job loss - when will it end?

138 replies

strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:03

I am keeping details deliberately high-level as I am gripped by paranoia. I am suffering extreme depression and anxiety due to job loss. It is not a job I can replicate and the lifestyle I assumed I could provide for those I love has gone forever. My reaction has been complete devastation. I spend my days obsessively rewriting the past to give a different outcome - oddly, that is the only thing that comforts me. The fear for the future is all consuming and debilitating. The anxiety has now spread so that I am questioning every decision I have ever made (e.g. relocation, relationship) and berating myself for it. I imagine how life could have been had I made the 'right' decisions. I have medication, I have referred for therapy, I have contacted the Samaritans and MIND and dialled 111 for advice. I am not living, I am barely existing, every day is like an endurance test. I feel utterly boxed in by a series of poor decisions. I keep going because I have to for my wonderful child. My elderly parents and sibling are sick with worry about me and I am racked with guilt for that as I love them so much. I desperately want to live a happy life but I cannot find a way out of this mess. I have had lots of interviews and get good feedback but not the job. I find the uncertainty intolerable. If I do find a job it is likely to be less than half of my previous salary. I do not have an AIBU but I am posting here for traffic.

OP posts:
DisappearingGirl · 05/09/2025 13:39

strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:23

The fact I cannot change the past is the hardest thing to accept. I was a high earner and a huge part of my identity is tied up in my job. Yesterday I was speaking to someone in the very stable job I left to go to the one I lost. I felt so envious that most of my team were still there and I was not. I am such a fool.

Might be a long shot but might you be able to return to the original "stable" job you left? At my work, we've had quite a few people leave and then return down the line.

Original poster
strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:37

I am unable to exercise, eat or sleep. I am barely functional and feel catatonic. I was holding my whole future in my hands and it was swept away in the blink of an eye.

OP posts:
PennywisePoundFoolish · 05/09/2025 13:37

I'm sorry you're so distressed. Job hunting is tough atm, which will understandably feed your current poor self-image of yourself.

The high paying job didn't work out. But you're clearly employable and have a lot to offer. If I understand correctly, this was a big jump up. So you have mostly lived on a lower salary.

You haven't let anyone down. You took am opportunity and it didn't work out. You've got a supportive family who are there for you.

I hope you can access RL support ASAP. I really hope you recover from this setback. Keep going

Original poster
strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:35

I understand. I am too frightened to provide detail. When it happened I assumed that this nightmare would be over by now but there is no end in sight.

OP posts:
Bimblebombles · 05/09/2025 13:35

You're not a fool. You're struggling, understandably, after a big life change.

I think its great you've been referred for therapy. Do you know how long the waiting list is? What changes can you make practically until therapy begins? Are you exercising at all? Are you eating properly? Could you start a hobby to give you something to take your mind off everything? Can you write out your thoughts in a journal? Can you sit in nature out of the house for a little bit?

It will be hard whilst you adjust, for sure. But be kind to yourself. You're not a failure and you've got plenty to offer the world still. You're just having a tough period. The next few hours are all you need to focus on - what you can do in the here and now to bring you a bit of peace.

Someone I love used to tell me, if I was ever having a tough time, "The past is only ever worth a view. You're not going that way".

LuckyNumberFive · 05/09/2025 13:33

strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:31

I am sorry to be pushy but is there anyone there that can help please? I am very distressed.

You've had good advice already, but I think it's difficult to give more than that without the finer detail. People may have sector or job specific advice?

Original poster
strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:31

thank you to those who have replied.

OP posts:
Original poster
strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:31

I am sorry to be pushy but is there anyone there that can help please? I am very distressed.

OP posts:
Original poster
strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:23

The fact I cannot change the past is the hardest thing to accept. I was a high earner and a huge part of my identity is tied up in my job. Yesterday I was speaking to someone in the very stable job I left to go to the one I lost. I felt so envious that most of my team were still there and I was not. I am such a fool.

OP posts:
UnhappyHobbit · 05/09/2025 13:20

I have experienced something similar when I was forced to go back to a normal job after a solo venture into self employment. Instead of focussing on what had been, focus on the now. Listen to podcasts on how to get back up after a perceived failure. Start engaging in activities you enjoy instead of dwelling. Watch comedies to start getting your endorphins going. Take it day by day and know you can’t change the past. Accept that and start to walk forwards one step at a time.

Original poster
strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:15

anyone? please?

OP posts:
Original poster
strugglingseptember2025 · 05/09/2025 13:11

I am very cautious about detail but I have been living with this torture for months rather than days and weeks

OP posts:
SalmonEile · 05/09/2025 13:10

I couldn’t read and run, I’m so sorry you are going through such a difficult time but it sounds like you’re doing every thing you can - opting for therapy and going for interviews so well done for that.
How long is it since the job loss happened?

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